44 have I left it to late to buy a big family home?

[Icantfindausername]

I live in a decent sized house and my children are 12 and 16, we are looking at moving but then think when children leave we will probably downsize as a 4 bed detached would be too big.

Cant decide whether to stay or enjoy a bigger house for a while.

How old were you when you bought your forever home?

Have we left it too late to enjoy a big house, had we might as well stay put now the kids are that age and just downsize when they leave home?

I have 2 adult children still living at home albeit in a large loft conversion at 34 and 26. I can't see them moving anytime soon. We had large 4 bedroom made into 6 bedroom and 3 bathroom with loft extension. We did that 10 years ago.
Eldest saved almost 5 percent but now with Covid needs 15 percent. They pay their own way and are no trouble and really I like having them there but we can't downsize anytime soon. If they left we would probably go back to 4 bedrooms but I would love to live near to the sea.

You could downsize and give them the deposit they need from your capital. Improves your IHT position.

I'm resigned to the fact I may never have a spare bedroom ever again.

But I do like to live in very central London

My Dad agonised for ages about what to do with our big 5 bed family home and eventually decided installing a downstairs bathroom and accepting he might end up converting either the dining room or study in to a bedroom was going to suit him better than downsizing, settling in and paying stamp duty on somewhere smaller.

In the end he was able to manage the stairs until he died so the downstairs bedroom plan was never enacted.

We were in our forties (me 46, husband 41) when we bought our 'big' house. I'd had a history of property ownership, this was only my husband's second place, but for both of us it was a long term place - until retirement probably. Our son was 9. Ten years on and we're probably here for another 10 years. We all have lots of space, which becomes more, not less important as the children grow and want partners to stay and friends over and a more separate life under the same roof. Work from home space vital now, of course. Good space for guests and family - possibly even a semi-permanent home for surviving parent (thinking my mum/dad could stay with us when one or other of them is bereaved, but still retain their own house and therefore their security and independence). Your life changes in ways you don't really anticipate - with a 12 year old, you could easily be looking at another 15 years of kids at home!

We've managed to keep borrowing low relative to value and income, so we've been able to afford good holidays, a lot of private education and for me to cut back my work when I wanted to. Even so, I'm starting to feel that I've had a mortgage for a long time now and we're making overpayments to bring it to a close early. How do you feel about paying a mortgage well into your fifties? How much do you like your work to want to keep going beyond thirty years?

Drawbacks - lots of work to keep it in good nick, but that's because we're fussy and it's an older property. In laws like to stay for 3 weeks at a time!

I've lived in big houses and tiny flats, and they each have their positive elements. But big (ish) is better for us now.

It’s not just about the house but location. Growing up we lived in a “family area” with good schools but when we left home my parents moved closer to amenities and they love it - walk to cafes / lunch every day, can walk to a small cinema and nice shops etc.
I’ve seen so many people move to big places in the country at 55 then not want the hassle of moving again so become slowly increasingly isolated as it’s such an effort to get out and about.