Feel a bit depressed and worried about the future

[GorgeousLadyofWrestling]

I need to start this off by saying we’re in our first property and I feel incredibly grateful that we even have that. I spent many years convinced we’d never even be able to buy at all. So I’m really hoping I don’t come off ungrateful for what we have.

However. We’re both 40. We just bought a two bed flat and we have three children sharing a room. Our eldest is boy and we have two younger girls. DS is just turning 8. I reckon we have a few years here before we completely out grow it.

We got this place quite cheap comparatively. It was a bit run down and other identical flats in our estate are on sale for about 70k more. So I guess I am hopeful that when it comes time to sell, we will be able to build up equity. We’re in south London and prices have continued to steadily rise despite what’s happening at the moment.

But this does mean that when we need to upsize, everything else will be a lot dearer too. Three bed flats or houses round here are 450-500k. Even with a (very optimistic) 80-90k deposit, with our age, I can’t see how we’d get the mortgage needed.

DH and I have talked a bit about the future - renting a bigger place or us sleeping in the front room for a few years to give DS some privacy until we can move. But I just feel a bit depressed and despondent about it. We’re kind of tied to this area because of DH’s work and plus we’re settled in schools/ friends. I’ve gone from feeling so lucky and thankful to worried about how we ever better things for ourselves.

We live up north , hosing is mostly cheaper and its less congested, would you not get better value moving away?

You could definitely look at different areas north/east London and get more space for your money. Commuting across London is time consuming. Have a look at where.rightmove.co.uk you can search for budget/size of property within certain commute of a location. I just put in 1h15 from Belsize Park, 3 bedroom house up to £450k, and it’s returned 72 areas for example. So definitely possible.

If other identical flats are £70k more why was yours cheap? Can you do the work to increase the value in line with the rest of the estate?

I'm 42 and have just been approved on a 30 year mortgage.

In reality I'll be overpaying as soon as I can so should be clear well before that. (We took a longer term to free up ongoing cash for renovations.)

But it is possible, so don't despair.

Your home sounds lovely op, especially the big communal gardens, great to have such a big space. Please enjoy it.

If you decide to stay look at blogs for apartment living with kids and tiny houses to get ideas for using space really well. As you have big rooms, there will be a way to divide one to create an extra bedroom space. It sounds like privacy for your ds is the need, rather than extra space, so you can rejig the space you have.

If you decide to move, I'd consider whether it's really worth being in London for your dh's local clients and higher earnings. My dh earns much more in London, but when we looked at the cost of buying a 3-4 bed houses near good secondaries, financially it made much more sense to move away. Our area had lots of nice flats which families with young kids lived in, but many of the houses had been turned into HMO for renting out, so there was little for families to expand into.

As your dh has successfully started an online business, I'm sure he can develop his business should you move away from London, and even if he earns significantly less your money could go so much further.

Your flat sounds lovely.

We just got a 30 year mortgage, which would have DH working til he is 70, so don’t think they are impossible? But really I think ‘don’t borrow trouble’ is the motto here - don’t worry about things that aren’t a problem yet and may not be a problem ever.

Retirement age is going to be 68 for you but banks approve even longer so you should be able to take another mortgage out over a long period. You might be able to overpay to clear it sooner, but even if not, you can always downsize when children have flown the nest.
In the long run, you’ll be much better off owning your own property.

@Lemonylemony it was rented by an elderly couple who wouldn’t let the vendor in to do updates to the bathroom or kitchen. It had crumbling single pane windows, no flooring, broken front door and a kitchen floor that looked like someone had set fire to it.

We’ve spent a bit so far installing new floors/ carpets in all rooms/kitchen/ hallway, double glazing, new front door and having a shower plumbed in, chipped all the wood chip off the walls and completely redecorated. It was marketed as a project and was on for 40k more than what we offered but the vendor was happy to negotiate. We ended up having an offer of 30k under asking accepted. Plan to redo kitchen and bathroom - not crazily expensive, just enough to modernise without spending loads.

I want to thank everyone because I’ve had a great mix of really practical advice plus being reminded of what we’ve achieved. I love this flat so much because it’s our. It’s a really lovely flat despite the work needed. I’ve loved doing work on it so far and I have dreamed for so long of what it would feel like to own - and it really lives up to those dreams so far. So yes, don’t go looking for trouble to borrow. Think the best thing I can do is spend time and love on this place continuing to make it our home, enjoy living my own personal dream, over pay what we can and/or save, and review the situation when the time comes. Thank you everyone.

You say it is a fear of not getting a new mortgage for your move that is causing much of this. Gone are the days when 65 was the limit that your term is caculated on. Lenders have adapted to people working longer. Your flat sounds lovely - enjoy it :-)
Have a read of this www.bsa.org.uk/BSA/files/cc/cca1a315-0456-488b-9437-0c70c6f844a0.pdf

We are moving but downsizing. If the business does well online -can you move out of London?