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Original poster

Hate my new house

41 replies

Grumpybuttons · 20/05/2020 14:10

I’ve just bought a new house and I absolutely hate it. When we viewed it (3 times) it was peaceful and felt homely.

Now we’re in and our neighbour 2 doors down is mouthy and unpleasant (not directly to us) and the house just feels awful to be in.

We had downsized from a large 3 bed semi to a 2 bed semi - I am so regretful but the tiny mortgage does financially make lots of sense. especially at the moment.

I just feel so unsettled and strange Sad will I settle in eventually?

Obviously I can’t just sell up and go now we have a recession.

OP posts:
SapatSea · 20/05/2020 15:55

I think downsizing is hard. We downsized 12 years ago and are looking to downsize again and it can be difficult getting used to rooms that are smaller, perhaps darker and have lower ceilings etc, fewer toilets, a cramped kitchen and the like. I found having a massive clear out of stuff helped, so no clutter and getting some decent storage. Also having to do some light DIY, painting rooms a different colour or getting new blinds or curtains, cushions for the sofa helped "lift" things and made me feel more connected tot he house, sprucing up the front to make it more welcoming when coming home. The neighbour won't be so noticeable in the winter! when the windows and doors are shut hopefully. Do you like the area? Think of how a weight has been lifted off your shoulders in terms of mortgage and how you can live a freer life!! well, that's what I'm hoping will assuage things for me (and not that I've fallen down the social scale and failed at life) when we move soon.

Original poster
Grumpybuttons · 20/05/2020 16:31

@SapatSea You are right about the neighbour hopefully not being noticeable in the Winter. I can’t hear the neighbour with the patio doors shut thankfully but we moved here hoping our DS could play in the garden whenever he wanted - and he’s too reluctant now. He’s only 6. Sad

We have put some pictures and mirrors up today and it looks more homely.

Ultimately having a tiny mortgage is the biggest benefit of all - I love it. And hopefully when Coronavirus stuff is over it’ll mean more holidays and positive experiences.

I’ve literally cried all day about this! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Grumpybuttons · 20/05/2020 16:33

I love the area! It has beautiful country footpaths, moors and countryside nearby.

But the mouthy neighbour has popped my happy location bubble Blush Blush

I’m trying to go out for walks everyday so I keep seeing the reality and loving it.

Hopefully it’s just a phase.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 20/05/2020 16:38

Neighbours are soooo annoying at the moment! It will get easier- they will get used to you, and you them.

Do all the things to make the house feel more like yours, and consider playing in the garden with DS, with games and activities that are quite quiet. Children to need to learn to control excited screaming, and playing with adults helps that to happen. As neighbours get used to the sound of you playing quietly in the garden, they'll become more tolerant of occasional squeals as well!

I've been both- the neighbour with children, who got screamed at and sworn at for playing, and the neighbour with children next door who delighted in outdoing each other with screams and yelling over the fence as they bounced on their trampoline!

DeeplyMovingExperience · 20/05/2020 16:41

What kind of things is the neighbour doing that is upsetting you and making your DS reluctant to use the garden?

Didiusfalco · 20/05/2020 16:43

Oh this was me. I left a house I loved, that really felt like ‘mine’ for one that was objectively nice, but less convenient and less character. Didn’t help that the vendors were arseholes and gutted the place. I felt bereft for a while afterwards - like Id made a huge mistake. It’s slowly getting better. I’m not sure I will ever be in love with it, but the awful feeling has gone. I think sometimes things take a bit of time. Especially if like me you are also change adverse.

MothershipG · 20/05/2020 16:54

Buyer's remorse, it's very common.

We're currently living through building work in the money pit we moved into last year. I've been a bit up & down about it but when the extension is done it will be fab and my Mum can move in which was the whole point. And the location suits suits us so well.

Put your stamp on it, get your feet under the table and it will be fine.

bigbluebus · 20/05/2020 17:23

Annoying neighbours are just there constantly at the moment due to lockdown. Hopefully as lockdown is released further then the neighbour won't be there all the time. My neighbours at the back are annoying but tolerable in normal circumstances but since lockdown they are more annoying because they are always there - shouting at the DCs, DCs scream constantly for no reason, she plays loud music outside etc.. .and more.

Kakfor · 20/05/2020 17:36

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Happydaysforever123 · 20/05/2020 18:26

My neighbours are normally not noisy, but honestly if you'd just moved in now you'd be horrified. Music playing, lots of shouting. I would hope once things are back to normal it will be less noisy for you.

Loofah01 · 20/05/2020 18:40

It took me a year to feel at home in my last place and that's with fab neighbours.

peanutsandcream · 20/05/2020 18:56

Moving is hard. It took me a long time to feel settled in our smaller place. We have been here for 4 years now and love it but it has felt very different during Lockdown with all the neighbours around every day. Usually it is lovely and quiet.

LudaMusser · 20/05/2020 19:32

It took us 2-3 years to feel like our house is our home. Decorating really helped

sbplanet · 20/05/2020 19:50

@Grumpybuttons "But the mouthy neighbour has popped my happy location ...
I’m trying to go out for walks everyday so I keep seeing the reality and loving it."

I expect the stress of moving is making things seem more 'extreme'. Neighbours can be crap, but some can be wonderful! Everything is different where you live and different where everyone lives atm. :) Hopefully when you've explored some and spoken to other neighbours you will feel more like you belong.

Get an 'old school' OS map and look at all the local walks. Treat yourself to a new pair of binoculars/camera/nature guides/walking boots or some such, and get out and enjoy the weather. :)

Give it time, but you'll soon make the place yours.

Original poster
Grumpybuttons · 20/05/2020 19:58

Thank you everyone! Am going to read that article now.

Today has been steadily getting worse and worse. Have spent most of the day sobbing my heart out.

Mouthy neighbour = shouting over the fences, swearing and playing music loudly.

It has an aggressive tone. Which DS has picked up on.

He’s a quiet boy. No ball games, no yelling / screaming - nothing like that.

Hopefully we’ll either get through Winter and if necessary we’ll sell up next Summer ish even if we make a loss. Sad

OP posts:
sbplanet · 20/05/2020 20:21

Come on @Grumpybuttons, moving house is an emotional process. Give it a few days at least! I'm sure your son will be picking up your feelings about it too.
You could talk to your local council:
www.gov.uk/report-noise-pollution-to-council

Whathewhatnow · 20/05/2020 20:25

Shouting what over the fences?? Like, abuse??

Original poster
Grumpybuttons · 20/05/2020 20:36

No not abuse directed at us, thankfully.

He isn’t next door but his voice booms! He tends to shout while on the phone but peers over the fences on either side to him. They’re quite high so he must be standing on something to do so.

No idea how his immediate neighbours cope. They’re both very respectable people!

OP posts:
sbplanet · 20/05/2020 20:41

He sounds errr, slightly like he might have 'mental health issues'? Maybe made worse by our current situation? Perhaps you should explain this to your son, and he might understand that not everyone is the same nor reacts in the same manner? :)

Vik1ng · 20/05/2020 20:43

I regretted buying my current house even before I moved in! I’d lie awake at night feeling sick about it. Love it now. Hang in there, it will start to feel like ‘home’ soon.

Whathewhatnow · 20/05/2020 20:54

So he is just a nosy, sweary boombox?

You'll learn to tune him out.

Swearing is a pain him with a 6yo but in 2 years your child.will know all the swears from school anyway.

Good opportunity to teach your son that words and swears are just noise...he shouldn't be scared of this guy....

Most houses have a difficult pillock somewhere nearby.

Soontobe60 · 20/05/2020 21:02

I hated my house when we downsized for a good few months. We bought it knowing we would be mortgage free and able to renovate it to our taste. We also gave ourselves a year before starting anything major. So I lived in it knowing it would be transformed. Two years on, I absolutely love it. It’s completely changed the way we live.
We do have some slightly dodgy neighbours but we put up high fences for privacy and learned to ignore them.
Remember, it’s been lovely weather, lots of people are at home all day so it’s not the usual way of living. I suggest making the fencing a priority, and don’t shut yourselves in the house. Start a design board for things you’d like to do with the house - I planned my kitchen and bathroom a full year before I knew it would be done.

ChateauMargaux · 20/05/2020 21:07

Write a list of the things that you do like about the house and the area. If your income is relatively secure, spend some of your downsizing savings on something lovely for yourself, something for the house and something for you and your son to do together.

ChateauMargaux · 20/05/2020 21:08

And make sure you make the most of things you do like, if not every day then every second day like taking a walk in different nice places every day.

user1471530109 · 20/05/2020 21:12

Hey, it's taken me a while (2 years) to honestly live and feel at home where we are. We live in an fugly house in a beautiful location. It's tiny compared to before (divorce) and also have a v mouthy neighbour 2 doors down!

But she's actually a nice woman. Just got a mouth that could make a sailor blush. To be fair, my dc have probably upset a few neighbours over the last few months.

It takes a while to get used to things. Mine needs a lot of work on it too. But both my dc are happy here and I also love the area.

You'll get there Gin