Fundraising to buy Mum's home - is this right?

[cc12313]

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all are having a lovely day!

Just to give you a bit of backstory, My Mother, brother and I are living in a council home and have been for all our lives. My father and his Mother etc. lived here for 60 years before that. My Mother is coming up to retirement age and has nothing. She has put all her savings, my dad's life insurance and retirement fund into the house to fix the repairs the council wouldn't because of 'insufficient resources'.

I asked them to relinquish the house to her because of all the money she has put into it. They refused. They bleed her dry and are keep doing it as more problems are developing. I wish I could sue the council but a solicitor advised me against it as it takes a long time for those cases to come before a court and we would have to pay while it 's waiting and we may lose the house if we fail or go into debt.

My grandmother is awaiting to be diagnosed with dementia. We know she has they just need to rule out other possible causes but it means my Mam will have to retire sooner than expected and with no savings, we are struggling to pay the rent and then care for my grandmother as the council will not allow her to move in.

A Councillor, off the cuff, said they wouldn't allow it as she is an OAP and they would need to adapt the house i.e. build another room on as it could be considered over crowding otherwise and put in hand railings etc. for her which, seeing as how they haven't done any other easy repairs, they are not going to do this big job.

I've set up a gofundme fundraiser to buy the house and fix the repairs. I've contacted all the news outlets I could think of and wrote and sent so many letters and nothing.

I don't know what to do. I feel so stuck and desperate and I feel sick for even having the fundraiser up as this is the councils fault. Does anyone have advice on how I can get awareness to this fundraiser and if I'm doing the right thing? I haven't told my Mum I'm doing this as she is already stressed out with my grandmother.

What wasn't right was your mother putting all those funds into it when they should have been used for their correct purpose. It's easy for me to say that though, it's horrible living in a substandard house but she needed to take the council to task more and be assertive.

Why can't you and your brother raise a mortgage to buy the house?

How old are you and your brother? Can you not help out with rent and repairs?

I think a lot of people are suspicious about go fund me appeals.

I was also curious about you and your brother. Surely all the expenses are split 3 ways which should make it more manageable. What sort of thing s are the council refusing to repair?

You’ve got 3 adults in the house and between you you’re struggling to cover the rent on what sounds like a council house in poor condition.

Do you or your brother work? Why are you still living at home?

I don’t think you’ve got any chance of the council giving you the house or of expecting other people to buy you an asset.

Whole thing sounds bonkers.

Hi, My brother is basically useless when it comes to this. If I had my way I would have kicked him out years ago do it just leaves my wages (which isn't much as I am in customer service) and my Mother's. Mine have been going into the repairs of the house like at the start of the year we had a flood in the bathroom that they refused to fix that cost us over 4000. I am still paying the bank back because I had tot take out a loan. We can't save up enough as every time another repair pops up that we need to spend money on

You need to stop paying the repairs and start hassling the council. Go to your MP and the papers every single time there is a repair that they refuse to fix.

Why do you need to buy the house? Have you checked if your mum is eligible for housing benefit?

The time to get help from your councillor is when the repairs need doing. Why would they not fix the bathroom?

I'm sorry, you're clearly very stressed.

Your best chance here - and probably realistically your only chance - is for someone to raise a mortgage for the property. That's presuming that your mother has the right to buy, and that it's in a mortgageable condition. Could you and your brother get a mortgage together?

Fundraising is difficult. There are hundreds of thousands of new fundraisers set up every day. Generally, less than 10% of the total is received from people who don't directly know the person who set up the fundraiser - so you'd be looking at your friends and your family friends to contribute. To get contributions from strangers, your story needs to be quite strong, and you usually need to be able to get media coverage - and the reason that you haven't is that this isn't unusual, sadly, and there's no easy angle in it. Some of the more bottom-feeder type newspapers might be tempted to cover it on slow news days if your mum is willing to do a sad face and talk about her situation, but there would have to be something juicy, and from what you've said, it doesn't sound like your mum would want that.

Then you've got the issue of your grandmother - to move her in, you'd need to be able to afford to pay for any adaptations to the house, and if you intend to build her a bedroom, you may need planning permission. it's possible that you could add these costs on to your mortgage, but it'll depend on income and what your LTV would be...

The solicitor has given you some good advice. As unjust as it feels to you right now, your mum chose to invest her money in her house, as many people do in that situation, and that money doesn't now give her a stake in the house.

Where does your grandmother live? Does she have somewhere to sell? If she's in council accommodation too, have you enquired about whether that can be made suitable, or whether she'd be moved to an assisted living home where carers are on hand to help her?

Your best options are,

• You/your brother raise a mortgage for the house
• Your/your brother take over paying the rent, so that your mum can stop work to look after your grandmother, if that's what she wants to do
• You/your brother move out, the other pays rent and your grandmother has the room that the sibling who has left lived in.

If none of those will work, then your mum needs to talk to the council about what the situation will be if she gives up her job. It may be that her rent will be covered by benefits, although they may be limited if she chooses to give up work.

Something about this doesn't make sense.

My sister lives in a council house and they are really good at fixing things, it takes a while but they do do it. And I live in a council estate and when I had a problem with my next door neighbours drains they sent someone out straight away.
Why are you paying £4K for a flood?

I'm missing how buying the house will help? Surely you'll then be even more liable for leaks and repairs and have to fork out insurance etc. And I would imagine a mortgage would be more than your rent anyway.

Yeah, I tried that found here: www.corkindependent.com/news/topics/articles/2019/10/09/4180765-im-fighting-this-for-my-mother/

I even brought a letter straight to the head of housing and head executive of the council but they turned their heads away. They didn't care about the bad publicity.

@furrytoebean I asked one of the Councillors how much the house would cost to buy and he said probably 120k which makes zero sense to me as they valued their properties under 100k so they could escape high property tax but as usual they can do what they like. I asked a contractor to come in and quote how much it would cost to get new ceilings (as the others are falling down, walls fixed and he quoted 20-25k so to allow for gofundme's deductions (apparently they take a percentage of a donation or else it's the cost of transfer I'm not sure) I put up an amount of 165 so the repairs could get fixed aswell.

Why are the council refusing to fix issues in the house, how did a flooded bathroom cost over £4000 to repair?
Why does your mum need to give up work to care after your gran, is your gran not eligible for caring support?

Are you in Ireland? It would be helpful to confirm, as we'll be thinking of right to buy, I've no idea if that even exists there.

Sounds as if there's a bit of 'sunk cost fallacy' going on. If the house is in a bad state, you probably should investigate moving. I know it's been your family home for several generations, but at the moment it's a money pit and you will end up resenting the house as it takes up more and more of your time and money to keep on top of repairs.

Will you not be eligible for some sort of right to buy discount or is it different in Ireland?

If it’s in such bad condition and you can’t afford the rent or the repairs then how are you going to maintain it when it belongs to you?

Don’t know who gave you the idea to spend thousands on a property that you don’t own but wouldn’t the best thing be for you to all move out into a sanitary rented property and make this house the councils problem?

Also, if you do get a mortgage, what happens if either you or your brother want to move out - what happens if you meets someone, want to set up your own home and you can't do it because of the mortgage on this house?

Am I right in thinking that you're trying to raise enough funds through the gofundme that you won't need a mortgage?

Regardless I think of the details, you will not get people prepared to give €165k to 3 adults who should be capable of working and funding themselves.

You keep on saying that it’s for your mum but it’s also a house (and future asset) for you and your seemingly layabout brother.

Why should people buy you a house?

I also don't think this makes sense. Has someone been ripping you off with repairs. It is the Council's asset, they should make sure it is kept in reasonable repair. As pp said, you should have hassled your Councillor and MP to get repairs done. Your mother could get in touch with Age UK to find out what benefits and assistance would be available in order for her to care for your Grandmother, but with two other adults in the house, it could be that Housing Benefit wouldn't cover all the rent, you would need to check with your Council about this.

So sorry MrsMaiselsMuff yes, I should have put it in my post. I am from Cork, Ireland.

The bathroom flooded because of a leak between the shower tray not sealed properly. This was the council's issue as it was their shower. The walls behind it all got destroyed and the water poured down the wall to the bottom floor which didn't help that the electricity box was right underneath it. Thankfully, no one was injured but to make sure it didn't happen again they needed to take up all the tiles, take everything out, put up new walls and then the cost of new shower, shower tray etc. going back in.

We kept phoning the council for months but were just getting through to an automatic answering service and when we did get through we were told maintenance requests were done on a risk and also a waiting period list and if they had the funds available to fix them. It's ridiculous that a bathroom flooding was not a high risk to them.

Would a mutual exchange be an option?

Sorry to say you've gone about this all the wrong way. You shouldn't have touched the bathroom until you'd given the council the chance to assess the problem, and then got a plan of action from them in writing. If they weren't doing this, then there would be a complaints procedure to follow, including an independent review of the council's actions.

Is moving not an option? I appreciate there is a housing shortage in Ireland, but not sure whether it's all areas. Have you looked at what is available for private rental?