Crazy to move out of London if we can afford to stay?

[goteam]

Just that. We need to move in the next few years currently in zone 2 flat with 2 kids (7 and 5). Kids comment a lot how noisy and busy London is and love visiting family in the country side. Thinking about moving to a small town in Derbyshire near family but worried we will regret it. Budget 900k so can move further out in London but it's still London. I love the buzz and would stay and worried the novelty of a quiet life would wear off for the kids especially in 5 or so years time.

Anyone done it? Any peaceful bits of north London that might suit my outdoorsy kids?

I'd be looking to move out a zone or two instead of such a massive change. I think your children feel like I do about days out/ holidays at the beach. I love the fresh air, the slower pace, the time with family, the time away from work/school - but it's not real life. In reality, I live in a small town because of the amenities. It's close to lots of countryside which is lovely but the life I have to live every day is easy. If I could live in London I would, but my husband would never come with me even if we had the money.

It's all being well living in a small town outside of another major city but as I said up thread regional train journeys while short are expensive so when it comes to it I can imagine thinking "actually, I dint want to spend £14 travelling to X concert so I wont go." Besides last train for the route I mentioned upthread is at 8.40 PM so life just IS different outside of London. I grew up in another major city but inner city so always had night buses or v cheap taxis. Commuter towns and proper suburbs is another matter.

Sorry that reply was to @minesagins37

Mycherrypie "I’m going to a talk on poltergeists and the history of witchcraft next week. Last year I saw a panel discussion on religion and ethics in Star Wars. I saw a dramatic reading of Judy Blumes “Forever”, I went to see Carrie the Musical, I went to drag queen Bingo and played in an adult ball pit. At the BL I saw hand written sections of JK Rowlings notes and illustrations for HP as well as the Ripley Scrolls which contain the recipe for the Philosphers Stone.

I don’t mean to sound like an arsehole, and I know it’s not high culture, but can you do all that in Derbyshire all within 10 tube stops of your front door? 😂"

I went to that exhibition at the BL. We've been to the studios tour as well. In the last couple of years I've seen Wicked twice, Hamilton, managed to catch the limited run of Chess. I've seen Tim Minchin live, Sarah Millican, got Jimmy Carr coming up as well as Milton Jones, Jack Whitehall, Ed Byrne, Chris Ramsey, Rhod Gilbert all coming up in the near future. I go to special events in London (that are too niche to mention) 2-4 times a year on top of these. Edinburgh festival was a particular highlight for me in the last couple of years (and I've not included the things I did there in my list).

My kids are far too busy to be bored, we love living in the countryside with open spaces, easy access to country houses, seaside etc. The road system is a bit crap, but not living in London does not prevent you accessing London! I live hours away, but at my peak managed twelve trips to London in nine weeks. Most of my activities are in nearby cities (nearest small city is half an hour, large city is an hour), but I live in a beautiful village. We recently bought a beautiful 3500sqf house on a huge plot, for well under half the OP's budget... I've heard sirens past my house twice since we moved in and they were probably on the major a road over a mile away.

Honestly. It's perfectly possible to still have a life but live somewhere open, quiet, safe... you just have to CHOOSE to do it.

I grew up in a small(ish) town about 40mins from Leeds. After uni my DB moved to London, he is now a barrister but he had 2 years of living in London trying to fit part time jobs round his course to pay rent. Without exception everyone else either had parents in London who they lived with or parents who could afford the rent. I love where I live, we are right on the edge of the dales, the commute to Leeds (whilst expensive) is not too bad - there are no late trains/night busses though so you are in a £50 taxi home! Leeds is a booming city with so much to offer but there are some opportunities you can only get in London. If there is the most remote possibility your children will want to work in London I would stay - having somewhere to live either cheap or free makes a massive difference when you finish uni. I mentor a student at Leeds and as part of his degree he needs to do an internship - 75% of the best ones are in London. My advice would be don’t underestimate the long term benefits.

NO NO NO. I grew up in a market town near Leicester and it was SO boring. Nothing for kids/teenagers to do. It looks nice but people are generally narrow minded, you won’t get the variety of interesting characters you get in London. Leicester is crap. It’s tiny and run down and although housing is cheap, jobs pay fuck all. I live in London now and intend to stay here forever. I wouldn’t return to the midlands if you paid me.

There's also west London surely because it's easy to go north via the M40 if you find somewhere accessible to that.

It's all being well living in a small town outside of another major city but as I said up thread regional train journeys while short are expensive so when it comes to it I can imagine thinking "actually, I dint want to spend £14 travelling to X concert so I wont go." Besides last train for the route I mentioned upthread is at 8.40 PM so life just IS different outside of London. I grew up in another major city but inner city so always had night buses or v cheap taxis. Commuter towns and proper suburbs is another matter.

It depends where you are. We can get a train till fairly late. I am also about you worrying about a £14 train fare if you can afford a 900k house . You have to just get into the mindset of sucking it up in relation to your otherwise cheaper living costs.

OP I think it's really hard asking other people.

For us the positives of being out here outweigh the negative: much more outdoorsy life, muddy dog walks, kids climbing trees and running free, much more freedom for dc with playing out, bigger, nicer house (they got a bedroom each), bigger garden, safer friendlier environment for them to grow, better schools, less pollution so ds's asthma is much better, strong community spirit and brilliant local pub. Dc definitely grow up a bit slower and are less edgy and a bit more childlike!

But the disadvantages are more driving and when they are older teenagers they might change their minds and a bit more expensive taxis after a night out in town for dh ane me. I do have pangs of wishing I could walk round the city like I used to but I definitely used to have pangs of wishing the kids had more of a free childhood.

Currently the disadvantage is on dh and me, not the kids. I definitely open to living in our near city if and when dc are older.

So its a very individual decision and one that won't necessarily be 100 percent straightforward. But what's right for one family isn't for another.

I do think its daft to spend their whole childhood thinking they'll love this when they're 15! Life's too short, especially childhood! And teens are just people- some like city life, some prefer country life.

That sounds like lots of fun @Mymycherrypie, but a quick google shows that in the past 4-6 months in Nottingham there has been a cycling festival, a beer festival, a Notting Hill -style carnival, a sound art installation that's something to do with plants singing (your guess is as good as mine!), a medieval pageant, the world wheelchair tennis, a pop up city beach and a children's storytelling festival thing. I don't live there, in fact I've only ever been once.

I'm just pointing out that there good reasons to live in London but there are plenty of fun, interesting and stimulating things to do other than live in your enormous palace that cost £5.50 because it's ooop north (plays Coronation Street theme tune)
Also Nottingham / Derby is in the midlands. You'll still have almost an hour's drive before you're up north.

Maybe spend a few long weekends in an Airbnb @goteam and get a feel for the place? Good luck with it all.

@JoJoSM2 surely outer London is worse? You don’t have the benefit of being walking distance/short tube ride from the things that make London nice but you’re stuck in sprawl. That’s the kind of thing I had in mind when I made my comment. Anything in a nice place would be too small. Anything big enough would be in a horrible location. Really not for me.

But the point is (as someone else made further up) that all those things are fairly mainstream. Some of the counter culture things that I listed can’t be found just popping out of your door of an evening, you have to activity search for activities and if you want a niche one, you are less likely to find it happening in a small town than in a major city.

You won’t pass posters advertising events because you won’t be walking. Who puts advertising flyers out for a Forever reading anyway, and who would even bother to do that in the middle of a country lane? That’s where opportunities are missed, for events and culture that is not west end shows or mainstream comedy shows.

Ha ha @Teateaandmoretea I realise it sounds daft to complain about train prices when spending a lit on housing but housing aside I am incredibly frugal - charity shop clothes and love anything free. That's why I think when it comes down to it having to pay £14 for a train or £40 for a taxi means I just wont do stuff and may get bored.

I agree that other cities have loads going on but unless you are living inner city it's not so joined up. The London underground is a wonderful thing. I have friends in Derbyshire who are buggered if they miss the one hourly bus service to the nearest city.

I agree @bigburt about the opportunities in London when the kids are older. I could never do internships etc as all London centric. It shouldn't be but it is what it is.

I can think of lots of cities up north I love where I have friends and could make a life but for those who are mistaking this for a "everywhere outside of London is shit" thread it isn't. It's about moving somewhere quieter in London vs moving out of London entirely to a small town / suburb near another large city where I also have friends in line with what I think my kids want!

There are lots of things gong on in midlands for sure but like some pp has said, it's mostly mainstream stuff. Hard to find more niche events and a lot of them really aren't on the same professional/artistic level with events in London.

Also travelling is not just money but also time. Especially with young kids. If it's hours on a train then it's more of a special treat for the holidays rather than an impulsive trip on a weekend (or even during the week). Then you are also there with everyone who's visiting during the holidays - unless you are not constrained by school holidays. And that can be extremely busy and crowded and less of a good experience, not to mention more expensive train fares, hotels, tickets etc.

Foreign holidays is another thing - limited choices for direct flights for many destinations if that's something you are into.

Pros of midlands is all the pp have said, larger space, quieter more outdoorsy etc. The couple of years we spent there made us more appreciative of the outdoors for sure.

It comes down to individual preferences at the end of the day

@Velveteenfruitbowl weird misconceptions. Fair enough if it isn’t for you. Outer London is perfect for us. We’re far out enough that we can walk to the coutryside (proper fields, sheep, bridleways and footpaths etc). Equally, close enough that DH cycles to the office some days and we can easily enjoy central London attractions with public transport available 24/7. Tons of amenities, easy accessibility to top schools and large houses sitting in 1 acre plots. It’s the best of both worlds for us.

Have you thought about somewhere on cross rail? I know it’s a bit of a joke at the moment due to the constant delays but once it’s done you will be able to get directly into central from so many pretty green places! Check out the crossrail website for journey times.

Have read the thread with interest as we are in a similar position. Kids are 8, 5 and 2 and we live in a small terrace in Zone 4 which we are fast outgrowing. DC1 loves cities, tall buildings, museums etc. DC2 hates going into London as she says it’s ‘full of weird people’ (not untrue). She loves open spaces and being outdoors. What I struggle with is balancing what they want and will need growing up with what we want and need as adults. In fact I find it really hard to identify what it is I even want because since DC1 was born my wants have come last pretty much! I think you need to be wary of getting anxious about what is best for them as teenagers - you will have a life beyond that and they can go and live where they want. Be honest about what would make you happy, not them, because they need you to be happy in order to thrive themselves.

Could you do what I have done, we've rented out our home and rent in countryside. We are renting then when secondary school comes around will either board dc and move back or all move back.
Im loving the countryside safe in the knowledge I'm not here forever

I would personally move to a London commuter town in your position. 900k can get you a huge mansion with land, 24-7 amenities, and a 30min train journey / commute into central London if you opt for Buckinghamshire / Bedfordshire etc

@JoJoSM2 it’s nice that you like it but that kind of halfway house is depressing to me. I like being either smack bang in the middle of a nice area with everything on my doorstep or smack back in the middle of nowhere. The kind of fake countryside you get in the green belt or the depressing high streets with the obligatory lower end independent coffee shops, pizza express etc just makes me feel trapped. It might be because I grew up in suburbia and therefore find anything even vaguely similar really boring. Like I said upthread it’s down to personal preference.

@velveteenfruitbowl

You made me laugh. DH grew up in deep, deep coutryside and I lived between the city and deep, deep coutryside. Sounds like both of us like the opposite of what we grew up with

@JoJoSM2 see, that would be my ideal. Maybe it all comes down to trying to escape our childhoods?

Have you looked at North London? Muswell Hill, Crouch End and Highgate are all lovely. Have great woods, parks, open spaces and still small villagey markets. There are also excellent schools.

We gave up city life, not London, but equally bustling city. I don’t regret it for a second. The quality of life is so much higher. It is literally quieter. You have plenty of space. As long as you choose wisely, it’s also easier to get your kids a great education. You always have the option to travel for particular activities. I go back to the city for work from time to time and I just despise it now. I’m so happy not to be raising my child in that environment.