Crazy to move out of London if we can afford to stay?

[goteam]

Just that. We need to move in the next few years currently in zone 2 flat with 2 kids (7 and 5). Kids comment a lot how noisy and busy London is and love visiting family in the country side. Thinking about moving to a small town in Derbyshire near family but worried we will regret it. Budget 900k so can move further out in London but it's still London. I love the buzz and would stay and worried the novelty of a quiet life would wear off for the kids especially in 5 or so years time.

Anyone done it? Any peaceful bits of north London that might suit my outdoorsy kids?

@spaghettisharon sorry to hear that. Can you move or are the kids settled?

I dont drive so would only live somewhere with decent public transport. I hate the idea of living in residential suburbia with no cafes, pubs, swimming pool etc so would need to be close to amenities

I'm going to go against the grain here. Im a Londoner and moved when I was 23 to Kent to give my kids a better life. London is just not a nice place anymore, I had an amazing childhood but it isn't what it was.

Husband loves it (grew up in rural area) and kids are settled and easy access to their secondary (eldest in Y7). I loathe it and the next 8 years feel like a long time to compromise. I don't know what I'm going to do tbh. I'm a London girl - this is like living in the Truman Show.

I just wouldn't move totally rural. Plenty of towns out of London but are still easy accessible.

I'm sure you'll be able to find somewhere with amenities within walking distance in the outer suburbs. Just a case of doing a bit of research.

I know @JoJoSM2 that's what I'm trying to do here! I live London but sometimes it gets to me and I do feel like a gentler pace, then I have a night out with friends on the southbank and change my mind!!

*love

@mrsgirond You wouldn’t believe it but there was a room above the George and they used to do Sunday roasts up there like a posh restaurant and when it was the back bar and the front bar, the trouble was at least contained to the front.

I found personally I’ve had trouble with the girls school girls - they hang around the park with older boys who aren’t in uniform and I’ve seen them threaten even small children to get off the slide which is just pathetic, and an old lady in the M&S cafe was telling me a woman tried to tear a ring from her finger at the W8 stop by the bank. It’s a real shame about the grammar school because those walkways behind the schools look idyllic but I think it’s good that they’ve got a hold of it now. Agree it should never have come to parents having to do that. As I a teen in Enfield I was approached often myself on the walk down the A10 and even before the McDonald’s was there which I know has trouble with muggings hence the security guards.

After the riots the I heart Enfield movement was great but so many businesses have moved out as a result. I remember church street as a destination after school and on Saturdays with friends but it’s just so sad now. Bar Form was owned by a friend and that was quite good for a while!

That’s why I wouldn’t recommend it, not with so much money to spend on a house. You could have Cockfosters for that money which has a lovely high street, the tube, the park, the theatre etc.

I think it depends on personal preference. There are some (very expensive) parts of London I might consider moving to given the opportunity but I’d be suicidal living in a 900k property. I just dislike the vast majority of London and am used to a minimum of 500sqf per person. Outside of London on the other hand you could buy something incredible with that budget. I’m just not into urban living and need a lot of compensating factors to be able to enjoy it.

But if you actually like the non super duper expensive parts of London and you are used to small spaces you might be happier in London that out. I don’t think anyone will be able to tell you what is best for your family. That’s something too subjective.

Barnet is on the tube and on satellite view looks like there's countryside around. There's a town centre too. So it'd be a case of identifying where a leisure centre, library etc are.

We're in zone 5 but do go out in London till the small hours sometimes. At 3am it's a tube ride + £10 mini cab (taking several minutes) to get back. Really not a problem.

I would highly recommend Cockfosters and Southgate in your shoes.

@Velveteenfruitbowl

In some parts of outer London, 900k gets you a detached house of over 2000sq ft with a drive and a proper garden within walking distance of the countryside. It's bot just pokey terraces and traffic 24/7

Do you need more space or less 'stuff'?

I would stay where you are, the opportunities for young people (thinking of your dc in 10 years time) in London are amazing.

I am confused. I lived in a village when kids were first born then moved to larger towns twice once they were older. There has always been enough and more activities to do and we can get to London from our current town in less than 30 mins. Only thing I would say is getting home once the trains stop could be a little tricky as not many inexpensive options but not sure how much teenaged kids would miss out on if that's the only thing missing. There is life outside London!

Just sticking my nose in to give a rural perspective....I live in the Lakes with three teens. It's a real cliche to say that all teens hate the countryside - ours don't because it's what they're used to. If I take them to cities for culture and excitement the 16 year old complains and asks to go home! I'm not sure that growing up immersed in a beautiful environment is such a bad thing

A lot of the activities local teens do; sailing, mountain biking, climbing, fell running etc are based on the environment and so make the most of what's on the doorstep. We do spend a fair amount of time in the car ferrying them around but it gives us concentrated time to talk which we might not do otherwise. Also, in a tourist area weekend jobs are easy to come by. This week DD contacted two cafes to see if they had any work - she was offered jobs by both on the spot at a decent rate of pay for someone her age.

There are pros and cons for all places and I believe in making the most of what you've got. Rural areas are different to urban ones but they're not necessarily worse.

@Evilmorty near enough! In a nicer bit imho

If you don't drive, then you won't be able to live in the proper countryside. If you want swimming pools, pubs and cafes, that's at least a small town. So what your children think they would be getting (countryside) wouldn't really be what they would have (town).

If you like where you live, I would stay there. Children whinge, mine used to moan our house wasn't big enough compared with their friends! I wouldn't leave for that reason, they don't know what they want and you can't really ask them to assess what will work for them in 5-10 years time.

I've lived in the North East, the West Midlands and London.

Don't underestimate the ease of London when it comes to culture and lifestyle. London has constantly available culture at all levels. You've got Big Culture, grassroots hipster stuff, commercial West End shows and everything in between happening all the time. If you are into something niche there will still be enough other people into it to have a reasonable frequency of events. You don't have to really plan cultural stuff because the day you fancy doing something there will be something world-class to do.

Outside London, you basically get Big Culture which is heavily subsidised and happens in publicly funded venues, touring commercial shows one at a time in your local big city theater, and grassroots stuff which is going to be very patchy and unless you are lucky enough to find an area with a hot spot around a particular interest, a bit amateur. (I speak as a former perpetrator of local grassroots art)

That means if you want to do this stuff you will find yourself slavishly following the listings for your local museum/concert hall/gallery/gig venue to make sure you know when something good is coming up so you don't miss it.

That's not to say a cultural life outside London isn't possible! Most of my family are in that boat and they do follow the listings and take those opportunities, and if fact they all do a lot more than me :) But they do have to plan it in. So if you are used to everything on tap in London you might find the outside-London model a bit disappointing.

YOu'd be suicidal living in a £900k property? Blimey.

OP I moved out and moved back again. I loved and missed london. And actually think it's one of the best places to bring up children. But I am not a countryside person AT ALL.

I personally wouldn't listen to your children - they don't know! They visit the countryside and experience it at weekends or holidays and have no idea of what their life would be like on a day to day basis. In fact it would probably be much the same. The same breakfast, school runs, and assemblies. Just with longer trips to the shops, fewer playgrounds and a larger garden. For me the larger house and garden did not make up for it at all.

look at what you want and need. But my advice? don't move out for a bigger house. Move out because you want (and know you want) a lifestyle that london can't provide.

Thanks all. Really helpful to get different perspectives. Its so difficult as I blow hot and cold with London. I love the buzz and choice but then I get off the bus to be met with shouting, chicken bones underfoot and a mass of litter and think I've had enough and want somewhere quieter and cleaner, but with that comes other issues.

@lakeswimmer that sounds lovely and I enjoy all those things too and the kids are sporty and will be more so the older they get.

We moved out because of dps job.

I had trepidations before we went but couldn’t get out of it.

I feel like I wasted 12 years of my life.

It was worse than my worse fears.
It was so bad that I refused to have children whilst living there as I didn’t want any association with the place.

Dd knows a lot of people who live all over the country.
She is so grateful that we live where we do.

When your dc are teens they will really appreciate living in London

I would research the outer reaches of London or Home Counties borders.

With 900k I think you could have the best of both worlds.

Thanks.@Oliversmumsarmy and sorry you had such a bad time. I feel right now that I'm the only one in our family of 4 who is really wedded to Lonfon. DH has been here 15 years and is ready for a change, the kids say they are but are obviously too young to really know.

Also goteam I thought I was the only one who didn’t get the pull of St Albans.

Not up to date with house prices but I have always loved Rickmansworth and it’s on the Met Line

Iggly where are you? Also worried about pollution and wanting to move our young children out. Need to be north of london though for family.

I've never been to Rickmansworth but it is good for sailing and kayaking + at the foot of the Chiltern Hills for walking or cycling. Might be a good spot for being on the tube and able to do outdoorsy/sporty things.