Are we being stupid? Selling and moving after 6 months

[nespressowoo]

Hello all,

Really need some perspective. Moved out of our lovely new build house before Christmas, reason we sold was it was leasehold and by a busy road. Moved in with family until we got the keys to our current place.

Our current house is a 1930s 3 bedroom semi. It needed loads doing, stuff which we hadn't realised. In 6 months we have put on an orangery, new high-spec kitchen, knocked out walls, completely redecorated and carpeted it. Getting shutters soon too.

We just can't settle. One minute we're ok, next we're unhappy. Despite all the work we've done we still can't seem to be happy. We have had our house valued and we would make back what we have spent. It's by a good school, in a nice area. Fairly quite. Garden is small. Still needs more doing but wouldn't get that back in house value / equity.

I just don't feel we fit in, it's very overlooked. It's a semi so we hear a lot of noise from next door. I don't know if we'd have enough room when we have no2. It doesn't feel like 'home', I know 6 months is a relatively short period of time.

We have seen another new build back near where we used to live, about 3 miles so nowhere near a busy road. It's surrounded by green fields, detached, bigger garden. Developer is offering lots of incentives. It's peaceful. It's nearer my family. It has a good school. We love new builds so I'm not worried about that side of things.

Would we be mad to move again?

Sorry for the long post... any help much appreciated.

No offence but it sounds like you rushed into both purchases

You’d have known about leasehold and busy road, you’d know you were getting less space

I’d have a really good think about moving and where to go next.

@Ivegotthree we bought it because it had charm and in the next town to where we were and is very desirable. We got it at a good price. When we moved in we came to realise it needed a lot more doing to it than we anticipated.

We had seen so many houses, over 20. We may have rushed into it as we were running out of time.

I don't know if it's green belt lane, it has lots of sheep and horses in the fields. I know when the plans were proposed the local village were up in arms about it.

Move OP
Life is too short to be unhappy if you are able to move
Home is supposed to be a haven, somewhere you look forward to coming back to everyday, somewhere you feel happy and relaxed.

Seems as if you traded down for the house but up for the area.

If you like bew build then 30s semi isn't likely to suit you.
Do the sums first and see if you can make it work.

I would be cautious about moving to yet another new area as that could be risky.

I couldn't be without a utility room, once you have one so understand why you are unhappy.

Thank you, everyone. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.

We know the area very well, it is the next village from where we used to live but a lot quieter.

The current developer is just building 50 houses then leaving. There is another development 2 miles from this that is going to be over 200 houses over 4 years, this is very much like the one we moved from, which we want to steer clear of.

If we were to do an extension here, I don't think we'd make much difference to the value of the house. We are very limited with space too so I wouldn't want to do half a job of just sticking a downstairs loo and utility on, I think it'd look a bit odd.

We sound very undecided and like we make decisions on a whim, we don't. We used to rent in the town we now live in before we got married and had children, but lived in the trendy parts. We are now in the family, settling down bit and I just feel it's full of snobs, we were so friendly with out last neighbours, but here I just feel out of place.

I know we have to compromise somewhere. We are very lucky to live where we live now, I just wish it felt like 'home'.

How long does it take for somewhere to feel like home? I felt at home straight away in our old house and cried so much on moving day.

I know we have to compromise somewhere.

What have you been willing to compromise on so far, OP? It is extremely likely that there is going to be some element(s) that is not perfect in any house/environment. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't look for the best fit that you can, but you've already had two different houses in three and a half years and want to move on again now (potentially three houses in four years). There is something in the decision-making process here that isn't working for you.

Having said that, it is horrible not to feel at home, at home IYKWIM. I hope you can sort it out.

@ChicCroissant we compromised on not having a detached and the size of the house. The area is a lot nicer than where we lived before.

I am so confused as to what my heart and head are saying. They both keep changing.

@ChicCroissant thank you. Hopefully we will get there.

“I am so confused as to what my heart and head are saying. They both keep changing.”

This might seem harsh but most of us just have to stick with what we can afford. So in a way, if you are the type who will keep changing their mind, does it matter, because the grass is always greener?

I wouldn't worry about it. Say you bought to do up and you want to be near family.
As long as you aren't putting yourself at financial risk, I would say go for it if you can't settle there.

We looked to buy a house but because he was selling after doing it up within a few months: our mortgage provider wouldn't offer a loan to provide a quick sale, so he rejected our offer. Don't know if that's still a thing 🤷🏼‍♀️

@RosaWaiting we have spent most of our life savings on this house. We would've used it as a deposit for the next house if we were to move again, this was meant to be our forever home. The grass isn't always greener. We don't always change our minds. The whole process of buying this house was awful, it has put us under a lot of stress and strain and we really wonder if it was worth it.

Thanks again, everyone.

But OP, that’s my point
You went through a lot of stress for this
No one can be sure how things will turn out
So moving isn’t a guarantee of anything

Also you say you feel out of place because people are snobby but people come and go

Anyway, you asked for opinions!

I appreciate it @RosaWaiting. Nothing is guaranteed if we were to move, and I really have to weigh up whether we can take the stress again as a family. Thank you

Why don't you just put yours on the market and see what happens. If it doesn't sell for what you need then the decision is made for you... But you won't lose anything by trying.

Even if you won’t get the value back in an extension make sure you’ve done the maths properly- even a slight loss may be cheaper. Our move is costing £25,000 and we wouldn’t do it if it was in any way possible to change the house to accommodate our needs.

Also make 100% sure you like the next place, scope out the street, talk to neighbours. Because new builds can drop in value in the immediate future.

Otherwise I think it’s up to you. Your residential house isn’t an investment (not until you die or go into a home and it’s cashed in) it’s a home to be enjoyed.

Just a little update - we moved. 11 months of being in the 'old' house 😂 our heart really wasn't in it. We've lost a little bit of money but our happiness is worth more. We love our house and can see us staying here forever. Thanks again for all the advice - it was much appreciated.

Oh wow, what a fantastic update!

awww a happy ending!

we`re doing similar! moved oct this year, plan to be for sale end of jan!

We`re going home!

Thank you! We feel like we've come home too. I honestly can't describe the feeling.

Happy new year everyone! 

Good luck with the move @theweebleshavelanded

Did you move into the house you saw?

@FlamingoAndJohn same house but on a better plot on the development.

Orangery on a semi though

I know 😂 that's what we were told it's called. No orangery here!