Diliema..... what to do about a housing offer/relocation

[Flammingstar]

Hi everyone,

I am really hoping that you can help me make the best decision.
I have a real diliema after a pretty turbulent and horrendous few months/years.
I am single and on a low income. I have always struggled on min wage and had financial problems in the past.
I don't have parents or family to help me out and owning my own home is not an option.
I have had a horrendous few years and have faced one struggle after another. I am currently suffering with depression and trying to 'deal' with it without medication with mindfulness/meditation, exercise, yoga etc. I dont want to take anti-depressants. I am waiting for counselling at the moment.
Sorry I digress!!...... So I relocated from my home town last year when I received a promotion/transfer opportunity with my employer. The opportunity came at the right time for me as I needed a change of scene due to some less than happy memories in my hometown. The offer was too good to pass up so even though it meant upheaval and moving away from what I knew I took it.
However I never really 'settled' in my new place and things have turned bad. I was dismissed three weeks ago because I raised a genuine grievance against an employee. My union representative and solicitors say that I have a good case for unfair dismissal and I am currently going through the conciliation stage with ACAS.
So.... my housing issue.... I am currently renting a room in a home with the owner. It is a gorgeous home but I am really unhappy here.
First of all, the owner, male, is a big chavanist, he totally loves himself and sees women as "second class citizens" (his actual words) he is great sometimes but his moods are ridiculous.
I am immaculate, yet nothing is ever good enough. He criticizes all the time. Also his girlfriend and her noisy kid stays all the tine.....i feel as though its not my home sometimes. He has his 3 other kids staying during the hols and almost every weekend so I never have any peace.... I know the child can't help it and I don't want to be mean, but the one boy has learning disabilities and screams and cries constantly. I find myself going out just to avoid them.
The owner has also "come onto" me and is very suggestive sometimes which makes me uncomfortable. He is very disrespectful and speaks to women like they are dirt.

I usually stay in my room and don't actually socialise with him anymore.

Also because of the job situation, I am going to have a issue paying my rent next month which is not going to go down well.
I am also concerned about lack of security because I don't have a tenancy agreement.

So I have been thinking about moving back near to my hometown and looking for a new job back there. I feel as though I need to be near friends etc at the moment because I need and miss them and I need support at the moment.

So I applied for a small flat with a local housing association in the town next to my hometown. I received a call this morning that I have been offered the property.
I have a meeting on Wednesday to discuss it and I will find out more.
It is a no brainer to be honest..... but I guess that I am scared that another change won't work out and I won't be happy.
The flats are brand new 1 bedroom flats in a block of about 8 or 10....they look very nice with new kitchens and bathrooms....but there is absolutely nothing there. No appliances, No carpets, No furniture etc. I can't afford any of those rhibgs at the moment and I am worried that I will feel more depressed because I am living in a 'dump' at first.
Arrrrgggghh.....i hate having to make decisions like this!
Any help or advice would be so appreciated.
Thank you.

You should jump at this opportunity. A brand new HA property is something very rare to be offered. I'm sure you can get odd bits of furniture and appliances cheaply. I remember paying £4 for a second hand cooker for my first flat.

Thank you Constance...
I think I know it is the right decision and it will provide some much needed security..
I will have my 'own' place at last.... I think that I am just scared because recent changes have not worked out and things have not worked out in the past. Also because money is so tight at the moment and I have a lot of stress and upheaval to deal with.
I think that I am worried that it's all too much.

But op you won't be living in a dump! You'll be living in a brand new flat with freshly painted plaster! Look at it as a fresh start.
You don't need to get everything at once, get yourself on freecycle and gumtree an Spock up the bare essentials for free and for cheap and then as you can, once you're settled and in a new job with a bit of money coming in buy yourself nice replacements for the free stuff and slowly build up. You can make this place your own HOME! Where you are at the minute doesn't sound great and can't be doing your email sense of well being much good. Take the flat in a heart beat lovely!

Take it. The chance will not come around again!

Second hand furniture is really cheap. Some people pay others to take their old furniture away.

You can get a new mattress for around £50. The rest you can acquire over time.

Your current landlord sounds awful. You can and should do better!

You are so lucky!

Thank you for helping me to sort of consolidate things in this mixed up head of mine!! Such a huge amount of things to deal with atm!

Just take it one thing at a time, don't let it overwhelm you. When you're not in a good place inaction is the worst way out, in that it's no way out!

take the flat .....

work everything out from there....-
have you been to citizens advice/benefit advice service? if not after you have taken the flat (they may sort housing benefit form/council tax there and then some housing do...)

if not ...take the flat.... then go to Citizens advice/council and see an advisor

then come back here and people will help put a list of things together with you to do!....

seriously don't worry about appliances etc -you maybe entitled to a discretionary crisis payment from the council if you have low income (not always just benefit based- ) I fill help people with these all the time - that should help with appliances etc..

having a safe roof over your head is the most important thing ... goodluck

This is 100% your fresh start. TAKE IT!

Car boots, charity shops and furniture projects, even telling friends and family you need stuff will produce amazing results for pennies.

When you are back on your feet, you can give back to the same system and help the people coming up behind you.

Thank you everyone. Yes it's a great offer that I would be a fool to turn down with my current circumstances.
I think that I just needed to get things straight in my head tbh.

Yes definitely take the flat. Then join some local FB selling / giveaway pages. I regularly see people giving furniture away on these, or just wanting a couple of quid for bits and pieces.

My biggest problem is that I am an impatient swine......i am dreadful. I hate a mess and I want something and I want it now!! It will get me down if I haven't got anywhere to put my clothing and other possessions and no curtains or carpet etc.
I am also completely useless at diy and can barely put a picture on a wall so I will have to pay tradesmen to do any cosmetic work.
I know that's just a small hurdle to overcome though and I would be stupid to turn down this opportunity.

@Flammingstar I am also completely useless at diy and can barely put a picture on a wall so I will have to pay tradesmen to do any cosmetic work.

So you'll learn. Youtube is your friend for step by step guides on everything you could possibly want to do! Just stay away from the electrics...

You will have a clean, blank canvas to work on. It'll be amazing!

This page was recently mentioned on here, it is pretty busy and loads of tips. They see a bit obsessed with putting loo rolls between curtain holes to plump them up, fablon and Wilko cupboard paint, but are generous with tips and ideas if you post up questions/pics.

www.facebook.com/groups/DIYtoptipsonabudget/

Just come back to update all you lovely MN'ers!!
I had the 'interview' earlier. They took all the necessary info and will get back to me by Friday to let me know whether I have been offered the property etc.
I think that they check that the info you have given them is correct etc and make sure that you are eligible.
Move in date should be beg of Sept as the properties are not fully finished.
I am on pins waiting now......grrŕrrrrrrr.

You can possibly get help from here:
https://www.eonenergyfund.com
The Fund can help pay current or final energy bill arrears. It can also help applicants by providing replacement household items such as cookers, fridges, fridge-freezers and washing machines – and also help to replace and repair gas boilers

I also furnished a house with stuff from freecycle.

Sometimes there are pros and cons with decisions. But in your case I'd say move. Can't think of any reason to stay. Except the stress of change. Go for it. Hope it works out.

Whoop! All the best for good news on Friday, how exciting!

Just wanted to let all you lovely folk know that I have just received an email. I have been offered the flat. Move in around 2 weeks!
Now the hard work of getting everything together begins.

Brilliant news flaming star. See not having anything as a chance to find and live with things you really love, so you pick up things, collect things, are given things bit by bit until you have all you need and the things you have are what you like. you do not need everything to be in place down to the last teaspoon on moving in day.

To start you need a bed to sleep on, but you don't need to buy one straight off, , a blow up mattress will do for now, not wonderful, but hey, the incredible feeling when you go in through your own front door and close it behind you will make everything worth while.

Great news flamming

Roll on the good times, you'll not know yourself with your own space and no crappy housemates / landlord issues

Great news Flaming!

Congratulations @Flammingstar!

@viques the incredible feeling when you go in through your own front door and close it behind you will make everything worth while.

Oooh this x1000! It is such an amazing feeling to be in your own space. No shitty landlords, no nothing. Just all yours to live in and enjoy.

Thank you everyone for the good wishes. I am getting excited now. The only small negative is the lack of affordability to get furniture and household items........ need to focus on getting a new job now and then it will be easier to get what I need and make the home mine.

Thats brilliant, I hope they get back to you with great news.
Don't worry about the lack of stuff. I'd go and check out the local heart foundation shops and other charity shops, the ones by us have some lovely furniture, only buy what is absolutely necessary, like one arm chair, a kettle a mug a couple of pans etc, all available in charity shops for very little.
I'd sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor rather than stay with that horrible landlord.

Take it! Grab it with both hands!