How far so you live from your parents?

[pilgrimway]

I'm an only so no other support for ageing parents. They are fine and independent now but am thinking long term and what if they need more help on 5-10 years.

Currently live 2 hours away. Thinking of moving another 45 minutes away but not sure if this is a wise thing to do.

Got two young children so not that easy to get up to parents.

Two hours is just about doable in a day. Two 45 maybe not so.

Any thoughts on this? Experiences?

[Mummyme87]

5-6hrs (300) miles from my parents and 3-4hrs (200) miles from OH parents

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

I live 80-90 minutes from my parents, so doable in a day. My mum is very fit and active but my dad is quite disabled, so I do worry about what would happen if mum died first, although that's unlikely. I have a sister but she lives in Australia so not a lot of help if my parents became very dependent.

Dh has a mother who lives 5 hours drive away, and we had to stay in a hotel when we visit as no room for us at hers. His dad lives in the US . His parents are much older than mine but the distance means we won't feel as obliged to support because we literally can't as we both work full time. Whereas I can foresee on 10 years or so possibly having to spend a lot of weekends at my parents to support.

[FishinthePerculator]

KitKat and ThomasHardy, I am in the same boat and have to constantly remind myself that my parents chose to move to another country which is a six hour flight away with flights once per week only. Back when they made this decision, 25 years ago, we asked them about plans for old age, ill-health etc and were told not to be morbid. We've tried to push the issue repeatedly over the years to the same response and now, all of a sudden, they find themselves in their 80s with failing health. I get a lot of grief for not visiting more often (I visit 2 x per year) but my own family and work commitments, plus the difficulty and expense in getting to them just doesn't make it feasible.

I worry about them constantly and dread the inevitable phone call but this is the situation they created and there's not much I can do but go with the flow.

[farfarawayfromhome]

5000 miles and a 17 hour door to door trip. i left home when i was 18 and move a long way away, then i chose to move overseas ten years ago. i'm also an only.

i refuse to feel guilty about my choices, i can't live for my parents....