Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

Exchanged on a flat but already regret it

70 replies

phoria · 25/09/2016 20:56

I very nearly pulled out but decided to push through the doubts because I desperately need a change and also my budget is so small that I risked being priced out if I gave this flat up.

I was hoping that once I'd exchanged I'd be more sure of my decision but I already wish I had just waited to see if something better came along. Saying that I've been looking for 6 months and this was the best of the bunch.

I feel sick and have been getting panic attacks. My mum died a few months ago and now I've purposely put myself in a position where I have to go through another big/stressful life change. What have I done??

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 26/09/2016 10:04

Awww, I'm so sorry for everything you have been through. Flowers

I had a massive panic attack when I bought my first house. I just sat on the floor, unable to breathe for about an hour. I felt like I had totally ruined my entire life, that I wasn't ready for my own place, that I didn't know if I could cope, that I'd maybe ruined myself financially - all kinds of crazy things!

Now, many years on, I'm here to tell you that you will be fine. There really isn't any such thing as the 'perfect' house - all dwellings have their ups and their downs. You will make this work! It might not be your home forever, but it'll give you a start. You've already shown that you are resilient and adaptable by getting through everything you've been through. We are here to hand-hold, but you will be OK. Flowers

Squeegle · 26/09/2016 10:08

Please don't worry. It will be easier to move in than you think. All big commitments are very scary- but sounds like you made absolutely the right decision to be near your friends. Make a list of what you need to do. It might seem s lot, but when you start ticking the things off you'll feel better. And don't worry, it doesn't have to be perfect all at once. Get help with packing if you can. It will be ok. Well done on getting this far. In my experience the looking, the making up your mind whether to go for it is much more stressful than the moving itself!

CwtchyQ · 26/09/2016 10:18

Sorry to hear about your Mum Flowers

All the advice you've been given is great - this is the beginning of something new, so just relax into the idea of it and it will become home. It's just bricks and mortar, it's you that will make it a home Smile

YelloDraw · 26/09/2016 11:25

Aw sorry to hear about your mum.

I honestly think it is completely normal to have 2nd thoughts and be stressed/scared. There is a lot to do and it is a big change!

Maybe make a list of all things you need to do to move, and then you can see you're making progress against the 'admin' type stuff? I like having a big list and ticking things off as it is a really visual way of seeing progress.

And I really like the idea someone put on the first page about going and buying something pretty for your new home that you can have when you first move in to make it feel all homely.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/09/2016 12:15

I felt like I had made the wrong decision after exchange on our house. But I remembered I loved it on viewing. Then we went and met the vendor the day before completion and me and DH left saying we didn't remember it being so shabby and it didn't seem as nice as we remembered it. I think we both had the 'shit we are making a mistake' thoughts.

We moved in, the day itself was a total nightmare due to funds not going through the very short chain quick enough. It ended up being a stressful mad panic.

Our stuff was in, the kitchen was disgusting and needed scrubbing before I would put anything away. It was the worse bit where all your stuff is in and you don't even know whee to start.

And I loved it. As soon as I sat on the sofa in my new house, I knew it was my home. I still look on RM just because I am obsessed with it, and there are others that I think "I would have viewed that" but I know nothing has been better in our price range, staying in the area I didn't really want initially was definitely the right decision and 2 years later I love this house and we have redecorated most of it now with new kitchen and bathroom.

Wait and see. I would bet that this is nerves and once you are in with your own things around and you start making it yours and buying new bits and pieces you will feel a whole lot better.

Original poster
phoria · 26/09/2016 13:57

Just wanted to say a big thank you for all your kind messages. I'm finding them massively reassuring.

I'm a very indecisive person so the whole house buying process was torture for me. But I know if I had pulled out I would have been on here full of regrets about that too seeing as the London market seems to have dried up.

It's such a scary time to buying what with Brexit and everything. But yes I just need to mentally fast forward to 6 months in the future when I'm all settled. If only I was there now!

Will definitely be drawing up a big to do list.

Also thought it was funny this article came out today: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/26/i-finally-own-my-first-house-so-why-do-i-have-buyers-remorse

OP posts:
Squeegle · 26/09/2016 15:23

Yes I saw that too - it's obviously a common thing!!
Good luck - enjoy it!

ProseccoBitch · 26/09/2016 15:28

I bought a flat I didn't like once but didn't have a lot of choice as I only had two months to buy something and really didn't want to rent. I sold it ten months later and made £12k on it with just a lick of paint and a tidy up when I found something I really wanted, so maybe think of it as a temporary measure rather than thinking you'll be stuck there a long time might help.

sianihedgehog · 26/09/2016 15:33

I felt the same way when I bought my house. I'd been looking for ages and was consistently outbid on everything I offered on. What helped was actually moving in and making it my own. It's still not what I was dreaming of, but I do like it, and it does feel like home.

I've also regularly checked all my saved searches on rightmove and absolutely nothing better has come up, so I was right about fearing being priced out! A very similar house just down the road had a higher price immediately after, and it's only got worse since.

Original poster
phoria · 26/09/2016 17:22

I dare not look at Rightmove anymore in case I see something better that I could have afforded. I'd be so gutted! I think I might have to start looking at houses way above my budget to get my daily RM fix though. So addicted! Can't wait for my friends to buy so I can look for them.

OP posts:
sianihedgehog · 27/09/2016 15:08

I had that fear, too, but over a year and I still haven't!

Original poster
phoria · 27/09/2016 15:35

that must be so satisfying. the market's so strange at the moment. i wouldn't be surprised if prices did drop properly but i also didn't want to risk not being able to get a mortgage if banks stopped lending.

OP posts:
kernowgal · 27/09/2016 19:28

I still look on RM just because I am obsessed with it, and there are others that I think "I would have viewed that" but I know nothing has been better in our price range

This, in spades (including the RM bit!). Yes, a couple of houses have come on since that probably would have ticked boxes in that they were in my ideal location, but they were at the top of my budget.

A month or so after I moved in I had a massive panic, didn't sleep for days, felt utter regret etc etc. I've since calmed down a bit, done lots of DIY, bits of gardening and got one room pretty much sorted, and it is starting to feel like home. The fact that my friends like coming round is a huge thing.

It was the best on the market at the time when I was looking, and I was looking for over a year. It has spacious rooms, amazing views, a lovely garden and nice (albeit noisy) neighbours. Only one or two since have made me think ooh, I'd have liked to look at that one, but I'm no longer panicking and thinking about putting it on the market in six months!!

Good luck and enjoy your new home!

Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 14:40

made the mistake of looking at rightmove and have seen a much, much bigger flat (ex-la) at the top end of my budget come on for sale. the place i've bought is cheaper but needs a lot of work so it would've cost roughly the same. so gutted. i look for 6 months and nothing and now this just a week after i exchange. :(

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 30/09/2016 14:48

Oh don't think like that... There is probably a problem with it I'm sure. Like maybe a major works notice. Maybe the block isn't as nice. Maybe maybe maybe it's going to sell over your budget.

I have constantly been checking RM and a couple of better priced things have come up but they all had something about them which meant I wouldn't have liked them as much.

focus on how nice it will be to be in you own place :-)

Mozfan1 · 30/09/2016 14:50

Phoria is you're ex la? I would rather yours for sure if it's not. Even if it is, it's your baby! You can make it how you want and you will be so proud when you're done Flowers

Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 14:53

i know! i need to stop torturing myself. and definitely stop looking at rightmove!

finding it really hard to stop worrying and focus on the positives at the moment but hopefully it'll be easier once i move in.

OP posts:
Mozfan1 · 30/09/2016 14:55

Honestly phoria you've done the right thing. You've got the opportunity to make the flat yours, it's so exciting! It's such a stressful time for you, give yourself a break. What needs doing at your gaff? Maybe you could start looking in Ikea or something for some inspiration for cool kitchen/ bathroom/ furniture? Get you in the mood!

Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 15:01

Thanks, Moz! Everything needs doing. I do have a plan of how I want everything to look in my head already and I picked out all the furniture I wanted from Ikea after my first viewing!

I think it's just the wrench of leaving my flat/area now. Without wanting to sound too dramatic it's like another mini-death and I'm grieving for this and my mum at the same time. I didn't realise how tough that would be.

OP posts:
Mozfan1 · 30/09/2016 15:05

It's not dramatic at all, it's a big deal. But whenever you get those feelings just remember all the great things you've got planned and how sexy it's going to look when it's done.

As has been said previously, your mum would be immensely proud of you going it alone and starting again. Now enjoy it and be proud of yourself!

Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 15:08

Thanks, Moz. That's very sweet of you to say! I will try my best...

OP posts:
Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 15:13

Also mine is not ex-la so at least there's that!

OP posts:
GingerIvy · 30/09/2016 16:24

I think once you find your place and have exchanged you have to step away from RightMove (well, except for the multi-million pound places that are just fun to look at!!).

You can see things and think "oh god, I should have waited" but you won't see on RightMove all the little flaws in the properties that you find once you go look at them, have them checked, and so on. You're just looking at the surface - the glossy advert - so it looks appealing.

Enjoy your new home.

Original poster
phoria · 30/09/2016 17:31

Definitely going on a RM detox, Ginger!

OP posts:
Original poster
phoria · 07/10/2016 21:23

picked up the keys today and realised that i really hate the flat. seriously considering cutting my losses and just selling now. would that be insane? the thing is i feel so anxious that i feel i'm on the verge of a breakdown and i'm not sure i can cope with everything a new house brings. :(

OP posts: