Backwards move into London with pre-schoolers

[BikerMouse]

Has anyone else done it? We decided to move out for all the usual reasons, more space, cleaner living, idylic country life and good schools etc. Pretty much straight away I knew it was a massive mistake. Regretted it ever since. Now over 3 years on we're thinking of moving back in, are we completely mad?

Widgeon you're right, travelling within London can be equally as long. We were in Wapping before and H could be at his desk in about 30 minutes. Only problem with there is schools. State ones are dire iirc and no private pre prep apart from Gatehouse near Victoria park which is a fair drive north.

Perhaps we chose the wrong part of Herts! On the East Herts/Essex border, it's beautiful. Yes lots of woodlands/ farms but limited restaurants slowly improving and independent shops etc. No John Lewis! I've given it my best shot and it's not for me sadly.

Like I said, we are better placed now than we were back then. 1.8 would be at the top end of our budget and would be a bit of a stretch especially if we needed to renovate. Dd's going into private is mainly for the wrap around care which will be necessary when are both working. Don't get me wrong it will be a stretch, but hopefully our quality of life will be better all round.

closet - try Brockley. Great community, solid transport links, parks, decent restaurants and cafes, diversity of housing stock to suit budgets. You need to be careful with school catchments but it's doable.

I used to live on that side of herts and felt we had made a mistake moving out of london. Now I'm on the St albans/harpenden area... much more metropolitan, commute to Liverpool St under 1 hr, and people are lively and a real mix. Access to amazing schools too. I'd absolutely think about it!!

OP - definitely agree that Islington sounds like it would work on your budget. Both a great commute into Liverpool Street and not a far hop from the m11, either. Just across east a bit.

I live not far from Islington (Stoke Newington) and my husband cycles to work (near Liverpool Street) in 15/20 mins. We also get on the m11 an awful lot as have family that way. Takes us maybe 20 mins to get to the motorway.

I do really love Muswell Hill and Highgate though. Being near the wood and the Heath is so lovely. But commuting from there can be a bit of a pain - that hill if you cycle, and no tube (well, Muswell Hill anyway) if you don't!

All have great schools though.

I love SE London. Have contemplated moving there. But my similar need to be back on the M11 frequently, and family being north has put me off.

Lots of London schools don't have wrap around care by the way so you might need to factor in a nanny.

I agree, microscope. Lots of great childminder options who do school pickup too.

If you're looking for a compromise, we're in Oxford and it suits us perfectly. I grew up in London suburbs (Kingston), and then spent time in London, then moved here before having dd. Really international, liberal and good community feel. Great parks, loads of museums and pretty good arts, as well as (where we are) lots of interesting places to eat and things to do (esp for kids). But we're also close to rural spaces and 'the country' DH mostly works from home, but drives into London easily once or twice a week, and you can get the bus there and back for shows/clubbing. That said, it does feel very small, and the shopping is terrible.

I live in outer North London and think it offers the best of all worlds.

Within a short walk, we have the countryside but we also have high streets, libraries, public transport, good schools etc. We visit friends in North Herts for an afternoon and love it, but very quickly we bore of having no coffee shop within walking distance.

Why not move back to outer North London? Areas to consider are Mill Hill, Stanmore, Totteridge, Barnet/Hadley Wood etc. All have great schools, independent or state, but within 30 mins of London by tube.

We left London a few years back and I do miss it. I can't afford a family house in the bits of London I'd want to bring a family up in though so it's wishful thinking even if DP was vaguely on board.

I like the place we're in now but have never loved it. Too mainstream, too right wing, too few people we click with, and I want to live somewhere with more opportunities for the DC as they get older, so we're thinking of moving away. No firm idea where yet though, but no way we can afford to go back to London.

To a previous poster who asked about house prices, £1.1m budget will get you a lovely 4 or 5 bedroomed house with a garden (say, 80 feet), but probably semi unless it has something else "wrong" with it: limited garden, parking, busy road.

Barnet itself (not the Borough) is cheaper than all others I named, but is quickly coming up the scale.

Your choice doesn't have to be London or the country - move to a different city? Your DH doesn't see your children mon-fri as it is so he could stay in London and you move to Manchester / Leeds / Birmingham / Newcastle which might be the compromise you want?

I worry about this too. My DH longs to move ' out'. I know I will hate it. My job is based in London and I know I will miss the short commutes and the fact that I can go to school assembly and then get to work in twenty minutes. The schools are amazing too. State outstanding primary, high FSM and literally knock out of the park in terms of results, education and stretch for my bright first child.

Don't do it Toomany. Seriously. Both DH and I wanted this 'move out' of London, and look where we are, less than a year later!

Have you considered moving to Cambridge? Fantastic schools, people and John Lewis!

From one Too Many to another don't do it!!!

Luckily the schools we're looking at offer both breakfast and after school clubs till around 5.30/6pm.

We're willing to compromise on a lot of things but I think we're set on Islington, Highbury or there abouts.

Ha, no need for John Lewis when you have online shopping, other stores are available.

Oxford and Cambridge would both work, were it not for H's job in London. I'm not willing to put up with a longer commute and Dd's not seeing their father mon-fri.

H's family are in Cambridge and mine in Kent. At least a London move solves the biggest issue. And we're equidistant to both our families. Having said that, I can't ignore the little voice that's telling me that Dd's will miss this country lifestyle. Plus we don't have a plan B for senior schools if Dd's don't get into CLSG at 7!

Toomany I won't say don't do it. But give it some serious, serious thought. I'd go as far as trialling it, if you can.

It's a 50 min train from Cambridge to London Liv St. You'll get the best of both?

Thanks all. My husband admitted that he is feeling very wobbly about it post brexit.

Sorry posted to soon. London is very liberal, very pro-European, very mixed racially. We worry about moving away from that

Biker, to go back to your original post and question now that you've revealed a bit more about your situation. No, I don't think you're mad for wanting to move back in. In fact, it's clearly a no-brainer in your situation. You've enough ££ to live in the nicest parts of London and still afford private education. Presumably you'll also be able to afford holidays and weekends out to the countryside to get an outdoor fix for your DC?

I don't really see what the quandary is?!?

We moved from London to Scotland four years ago. I still miss London, but most of our friends have now moved to Surrey etc, so it wouldn't be the same as we would both be working full-time and wouldn't want a commute beyond zone 2. We try and have at least 2 nights a year in London and I do a lot of online shopping and keep up with the latest trends etc. We love visiting and have a brilliant time as it reminds us of our life before kids, but then we realise how much harder it would be with kids.

Completely understand why you would want to go back.

closet Yes, we're lucky in having lots of options. I guess it's also the thought of doing something that's against the norm. Most people move out as soon as they have more than one child. And in our social circle most have gone to the suburbs or moved out completely. I've never met anyone who's gone back in iyswim.

We live in Highbury! Come and join! I think if you can afford not to have a long commute, the benefits are huge. DC see both parents. Both parents equally able to work. It always saddens me when people move out and it's inevitably the mother whose career suffers. If you can afford it, come back!

Oh this could be me as well. I left London for the schools, house with garden etc etc 2 years ago and I still miss it. I miss London terribly. I am Herts as well and miss absolutely everything. I don't complain in RL as I have my parents close to me and we spent a fortune doing up our house and everyone thinks it is a great set up which it is. But I hate the very limited stuff we can do when it's raining leisure centre shopping centre leisure centre shopping centre... I miss London so badly
Sorry OP not the most helpful response but I'm glad you started this thread as it's comforting to know there are a few of us who are still torn despite having moved.

Oh, I see. Well most of my friends with kids are still in London. Those who are in a similar income bracket to what you sound you're in are living in really nice parts of zone 2 (including the ones you're thinking about). Less affluent ones have either stayed in London and just accepted the compromise of smaller living quarters or have moved out to places like Walthamstow. I don't know many at all who've moved out of London altogether.

In fact, that's part of the issue for us. Not only do I miss London in itself, but all my pals who live there.

In your situation I would not be questioning the decision to move back for one second.