Backwards move into London with pre-schoolers

[BikerMouse]

Has anyone else done it? We decided to move out for all the usual reasons, more space, cleaner living, idylic country life and good schools etc. Pretty much straight away I knew it was a massive mistake. Regretted it ever since. Now over 3 years on we're thinking of moving back in, are we completely mad?

Ok donuts, here's your challenge! Give me your areas in London that aren't too suburby where we can get a 4 bed house plus decent garden for max £1.1m. I work in Guildford, so needs to be relatively easily public transport commute to there (less than an hour ideally. Max 1.25 hrs). Good public transport required in general (doesn't have to be tube). Plus being able to walk from front door to cafes, and stuff to do with kids (don't mind using the car, but don't want to have to use it all the time). Neither of us work in London, so don't need to commute into town. But do want to be able to easily access what's on offer.

Don't want anywhere that is too full of 'yummy mummy' types or people who are hothousing their toddlers to get into St. Pauls. Ideally not full of City-worker types either. And somewhere DH will feel comfortable as a SAHD.

Decent state schools for primary with good state and low-key private options for senior (not interested in 'top' London day schools).

Good parks, facilities, etc for kids.

Finally, and this is the hardest thing, a sense of 'community'. Stuff going on locally (arty, cultural mostly) that we can get involved in. We love a street party and a local fete, for example.

I know London very well. Lived there pretty much all my life. Yet I'm still struggling to find somewhere that ticks all the boxes.

I think Wimbledon would tick a lot of boxes for you.

But a 45 minute commute into the city isn't a lot better than where we are now.

Its never 45 mins to the city from dulwich!

But anyway, it is 70 mins a day extra your DH would have at home that he does now... that is quite a lot!

Margery No, not Wimbledon! Terrible black holes for state schools, no?

And it is to me the epitome of 'suburby'. And full of yummy mummies!

Biker, you are not mad, and I'm very jealous. I miss London too even though I used to live in the northern outposts of Zone 5 then Holloway.

I'm only in zone 6 now but it's SW London and I'm isolated and unhappy. I've tried like gig to make the best of it but I don't "click".

I would give anything to live in Barnet again but I can't. You should consider High Barnet/Finchley if you're looking for "best of both" suggestions. Please update us as to how you get on so I can live vicariously through you x

Earlsfield? Up and come a lot recently but still not yummified. Some nice parks, cafes etc.

Wow...lots more of us in the unsettled gang.

Yello that's exactly what I thought.

I was going by Google, realistically it would take an hour door to door which isn't worth the upheaval.

We were hoping to get the school sorted first, then let look for the house or possibly rent should our house sell quickly. At least then we'd be in a position to move fast.

The schools we're considering are Darlington and Rosemary Works. But we're equally happy to go with a good state and then apply for City Of London girls at 7. House wise, Islington would be ideal but we'll see.

OP- I live in zone 2 North London and very happy here. Don't want to leave London, even though my family keeps trying to persuade me to move to commuter belt (where they live). It's just not for me, lovely as it is.

I CONSTANTLY meet people in the park who have come back to London after leaving, then realising country life wasn't for them. It is so tempting to be lured by big houses and gardens, I totally get it! But some people just have the city bug. I'm one of them.

And i have kids, state schools. We're lucky enough to currently live in the catchment - like the next road along - to an outstanding primary, and the rest we're in catchment for are "good" (though we actually need to move as our place is too small). Some state London schools are really terrific.

And waiting lists for both private and state shift and move as the children above will have found somewhere else to go/ other kids moved from the area.

Good luck whatever you decide!

Come to Brighton, at least you don't have to worry about schools - plenty of time until secondary if you want that

Closet Forest Hill/Sydenham/Crystal Palace would tick your boxes, if you don't mind your commute nudging towards 1hr15.

I can't believe you are describing Herts as isolated and rural! Which bit are you in? I'm in Herts, door to door commute in Westminster is 1hr (and can be 50 mins literally door to door if I time it right in the mornings). I don't feel in the least bit isolated - loads of nice restaurants, parks, theatres, swimming pools, big shops, small shops, things to do with children nearby, and London is practically on your doorstep too. So we frequently go into London with children for the day. In fact we are going in tomorrow.

Plenty of fee paying schools too.

Do you just need to move to a better connected and more buzzy part of Herts? St. Albans, Harpenden if decent budget, Watford, Hitchin if not.

I definitely have the city bug Nickname, we may become neighbours!

Wigeon were on the cusp of Herts and Essex. 20 minute drive into school, town, station or supermarket etc. Narrow single track roads. No shop in the nearby village. You wouldn't believe it's a little over 30 miles into London. And tbh we have no connections here so there's no real reason to stay. I fear moving elsewhere in Herts won't really solve the issues we've encountered to date. The main one being DH's commute. And I hate to say it post Brexit, I would prefer Dd's to be surrounded by far more diverse children as opposed to being the only mixed race children in the class/school etc. We've already had a few minor issues in pre-school!

Where does your DP commute to OP? I love south London (best thing is all the haters and yuppies avoiding it!) but if you frequently want to drive to Herts/Cambridge it's a git. It was a bit weird being in London at preschool age as so many people were saying they 'had' to move, mostly pressured by family, but others replaced them and pretty much everyone I know doesn't want to move out now - schools are good (state - huge proportions of aspirational parents compared to many suburbs), and there's so much to do. I'm not familiar with north London house prices any more though.

Yesterday 17:27 Closetlibrarian

Margery No, not Wimbledon! Terrible black holes for state schools, no?

And it is to me the epitome of 'suburby'. And full of yummy mummies!

Black holes were a major problem 5 years ago, but now they've expanded the primary schools it's not nearly such a big issue. Still need to keep an eye on catchments if you buy, but nothing like the gaping black holes there used to be. Secondaries haven't yet been expanded though...

I would say less 'yummy mummy' than my experience of places down the A3 - more mums who work rather than very traditional family set ups, a real mix of people from all around the world. And having things like Polka theatre, multiple play cafes, cinemas, pool, shops etc all within 15 minutes walk is worth a lot.

I tried living out of London for 7 months but just missed it too much and moved back. I have two under 5 and there is just so much to do here. I actually don't think it is that difficult to get into many of the private schools as I have friends who weren't on waiting lists and there is so much movement that they all got places. Friends who have moved back to London and in the state system have managed to get the younger one into the state school of their choice and then moved the older one across later. Come back!

closet hmm yes hard! Only places can think of are surbiton and teddington for you. Or too suburby? Or Earlsfield/Southfields/Wim Park as someone else said? Don't fancy Guildford itself?

Where would be everyone's ideal in London?
We struggle with commute time versus size of house - as would love love love to live in either Islington or Highgate way or Notting Hill but obvs budget would not stretch to what we minimally need! Plus I do have this thing about being near green space for me and kids. Hence our thinking about outer SW London - still get the feels of London but access to great parks. Seriously I think about this every minute of the day it's making me quite miserable. Can't make a decision!!!

Have you considered Muswell Hill? It has a very liberal community feel. If you live on the Ally Pally side you have good access to the Picadilly (Bounds Green) or Alexandra Park station. Or if you go south then easy to get to Highgate station on the Northern Line. As for schools you could try the local non-selective prep Norfolk House with an eye to transfer into Highgate/Channing later. NH generally has places available. Or there's Annemount/The Avenue for prepreps though you'll struggle more for places.

Yes closet best for You sounds like se London if u could hack commute? We also considered e dulwich, hop, forest hill and costal palace. Lovely feel - more chilled than sw London, but for me but trafficy/didn't feel that green - lots of small parks yes but not enough big spaces. But amazing area and I loved the feel there.

He comes into Liverpool St, works in Leman St citrus, so the nice parts of South London would not work. And in any case family are still in Cambridge, I can see us doing the M11 run fairly frequently.

House prices are astronomical in London but properties in our price bracket are not moving quickly. A complete buyers market which works in our favour. We're not compromising on space or location and there's absolutely no way I'm moving again hence the need for something of a decent size we can grow into or at least with the potential to extend.

We're watching an unmodernised town house in a conservation area. Needs a fair bit doing to it as it hasn't been touched for 40 years. From what we've ascertained the son is selling it and wants a rather full price for it at 1.8 and realistically he's unlikely to get it, certainly in its current state and after the Brexit uncertainty. We'll put in a realistic offer early next week then sit tight and see what happens. Fingers crossed!

Lucy Oh that's really positive, a couple of the schools had me believe that it would be impossible. Hopefully by the time we're ready to move in 6 months things will have settled. Dd1 has a place at a pre-prep here so there's no major rush to get her into a place in London. It would just be nice to have certainty on that front.

You have to choose your bit of London carefully - unless you are really central the commute is still going to be an hour (or more). But if you can do Islington, and your DH works somewhere nearby, then happy days.

Personally I think towns in Herts have the best of both worlds - I can cycle to a John Lewis in 10/15 mins, huge beautiful park / woods close by, loads of choice of restaurants and other shops, children's friends all live less than 10 mins walk away, I can commute right to my desk in London in an hour, but we are also near proper countryside and it's easy to get properly out of London. My commute would be even shorter if I worked closer to Euston / Kings Cross.

Three big supermarkets nearby (5-10 mins drive). 20 mins from Heathrow. 20 mins from Luton airport. (Both timings not at rush hour though!).

And in terms of diversity - there are more than 30 languages spoken at my DDs' school (they had a "mother tongue" day recently to celebrate this) - a mixed race child would not stick out in the least.

Of course the downsides are the traffic, it's very built up just round where we live, obviously busy. But not actually noisy even though we live right in suburbia.

What kind of commute for DH would he ideally like? You do get more for your money in terms of property of you aren't right in London....

Ooh I'm envious - oh to have 1.8 and go private!!
Mad not to be in London if you can get a decent house. Most people only move out as they can't afford enough space

Ok, I've changed my mind. If you have c. £1.8million to spend on a house, go for Islington! (Although you could get a total palace round here for that)

Re schools if it's NW London then st Margarets, northbridge house, Devonshire house, Heathfielde and the village all in the Hampstead areally are less selective and worth enquiring about chance vacancies.

I'm the flip side of your coin OP - we moved to London from a posting abroad when the DC were aged 3y and 10months. Now they are 8 and 6 and we are moving out to Hertfordshire.

We love living in London, we're in Greenwich which is zone 2 and a 20min commute to work for both of us. The primary schools around here are generally extremely good (state) and a couple of new ones have opened recently so schools are actually undersubscribed. But the secondary situation is a bit of a disaster so I'm keen to move before DD makes the transition. Childcare before the DC were in school was horrendously expensive and I basically spent my entire take home salary on it for the first 2 years we were here.

We've just had an offer on our place and about to move into the contract exchange process. It is definitely a buyers market at our level and while we had a lot of viewings, there's more on the market than there are buyers so it took a while to get the right offer. A good time to be a buyer I think.

I'm a bit worried about finding life in the sticks a bit dull, but I will still be coming in at least 3 days a week for work, we will only be 25 mins from Kings cross so expect to do family days in London after the move as well. I'm dreaming of a garden, and my DC being able to spend more time outside.

I really hope I won't be looking to move back again in 3 years! This move is already a logistical, stressful nightmare!