Should I leave London for Durham/Newcastle?

[ZeldaPetals]

I recently separated after 19 years' marriage and now have to leave the flat we've rented for 18 years in SW London as my landlord won't accept me staying on and seeking housing benefit (he's never paid tax on the rent...) I'm in my late 40s, with friends in London only and no family other than the father of my 12 yo son. I am self-employed, working from home, with no chance of ever buying and don't see myself as ever standing a chance of an income that would allow me to pay full London/Surrey rent without benefits - not the way I want to live my life.

An acquaintance who is looking to get a buy-to-let property would be happy for me to choose a house anywhere in England I like; she would then buy and let it to me for as long as I'd want it, at minimum possible rent. I would take care of the house, any internal repairs, decoration, etc; the budget is max 120k (at the top of the budget it'd have to be ready to live in). Having looked around, it seems to me that in order to get a good home in a decent area on that budget I'll have to go North to the Durham/Newcastle area. Obviously I'll have to visit the area and try to get a feel for it myself, but I wonder if anyone here could tell me more about the area? Are there places I should definitely not look at, or any that are cheap but absolutely should be considered? I dont mind the climate as I grew up east of there, across the North Sea (been in London since 1991), but are there other things I should know about living up there? Are people open and friendly to 'foreigners'.

My son has always been home educated, so I would prefer living in an area where there are other home educators nearby, or at least where we wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb and be viewed with suspicion for having made that choice. Also, I wont be able to find a btl before we have to leave this flat, do you think I should rent up there whilst looking or stay where my supportive friends are until I have found a place (I'd need a place that accepts dss, so hard to find)? My current state of mind is fragile and I am so afraid of being completely isolated if I make the move now, on the other hand, it would obviously make it easier to look at properties. What would you do?

Sorry, so many questions, but I sorely need guidance and I am so grateful for any helpful advice any of you might be able to give.

Thank you TurnOffTheTv, that is really helpful. I'll have a look at those places and take it from its inclusion in your likes that Pity Me is actually a nice place, funny how the name can make you wonder. Very much appreciated.

Great gamerchick, should I bring my own dictionary?

I relocated from London to a much smaller city after a break up too. To begin with I was walking around thinking about the old life, but gradually I stopped giving it a thought. Where I am, I bought a house. I would never have been able to have done that in London. My house here cost less than a tenth of what my x's house cost and it's the same size.

It's going to be a long distance for your Ex to travel to see your DS - and it would also be quite expensive. Can you negotiate with him to get additional funds to help you stay nearer, so he can still see DS easily?

If not, then South Wales has some cheap properties, and is only a couple of hours from London - so might be worth looking at.. Take a look near Caerphilly..

You're right, CurlyhairedAssassin, to put those questions. The deal would be that I treat the house as if it was mine, in terms of maintenance and use, but the benefit is that the rent I pay will cover her costs for mortgage and building insurance nothing more, so I will not need benefits once I'm there and on potentially big expenditure things like a boiler, I'd take out insurance to cover emergencies. If I get to a position of being able to get a mortgage that would cover the outstanding mortgage on the house, she will sell it to me for that price and no more. What she is willing to do for me is not for profit making, but her desire to help me and my son to build a stable life. She will not lose anything, but neither will I. Even if something happened that meant she had to sell in a few years, I'd have paid far less than for standard private rental and, most importantly to me, without being dependent (and even if I should need housing benefit for a while, the state wouldn't have to pay as much as if I rented elsewhere). I'd have lost nothing. Of course all good intentions can come to nothing, but if a property can be found and the btl mortgage goes through, then I'll be a very lucky tenant indeed. Thank you for your thoughts and for bringing up very valid points. I'm off to shake out these wet chips now...

I'm from Durham - but left a long time ago now!
I often linger on rightmove and dream though . . .
Pity Me - best thing is proximity to Durham. Durham can be lovely but can be a bit 'bouncers on the doors' at weekends. Some nice old pubs though. Not great for eating out if you are used to London. But it is beautiful and I miss it. Bored witless as a kid though - had to go to Newcastle for topshop! Town and gown quite separate, which is a shame.

Chester le street - swimming pool, cricket ground, park, market. Not great shops but train to Newcastle. Cheap housing.

Newcastle is small (when you used to London) so is walkable and there are some nice, affordable bits. Town moor - green belt, bit fab, close to sea.

Love South Shields - and Tynemouth. Love the sea and watching the weather. And the fish n chips.

If you drive, some of the villages near Durham would be fine.

Lanchester is a bit posher than your average Durham village.

Langley Park, Witton Gilbert, worth a look (home to prefab sprout) and the travellers rest in Witton had a no smoking bar waaay before that was a thing. It's all rather lovely semi rural round there.
Sacriston, odd place, lots of new build but all the pubs closed down - but still has bank, chemist and butcher I think. Cheap housing ( not the new build)
Farm sort of between Witton and sacriston does posh meat and has a cafe and a fun trail (for kids, climbing and stuff) for kids.

I like low fell too, as others have said.

Sigh. Feel homesick now.

Good luck!

Look at the garden!

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53221271.html

UrbaneFox, great that you found a place that suited you. It's inspiring to hear from others who have been in this position and found a good place. All the best to you.

Yes, thank you, BlueStringPudding, it will be a trek. Dad hardly ever visits now and he's 45 mins away, he's soon moving off to be at least 2 hrs away, I expect we won't see him at all then. If I lived in the area he's moving to, I'd live in the worst part. He's got a girlfriend who's buying a house, so they will be able to get a much nicer place. I don't think I should make that sacrifice for him as well as all the others I've made over the years. Our son has no expectations of his dad, he sussed him years ago. He wont be able to add to the mortgage pot either, sadly. I did look seriously in Wales for a while, but found nothing in areas with good public transport. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Oh, Foxedshoes, that's marvellous! That went straight to my saved properties. What great info, thanks so much. I do hope your dream comes true one sunny day.

I feel more excited and positive for all your great suggestions and thoughtful questions, thank you so much to you all, what a difference you've made.

This ticks all your boxes. Witton nice, quiet. Easy to get to Durham (I would advise learning to drive though, to get most out of area. There are some lovely walks, finch ale priory, near Pity Me)
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-35225451.html?backListLink=%2Fproperty-for-sale%2Fmap.html%3FlocationIdentifier%3DREGION%255E21354%26maxPrice%3D120000%26minBedrooms%3D2%23_includeSSTC%3Don%26auction%3Dfalse%26displayPropertyType%3Dhouses%26locationIdentifier%3DREGION%255E21354%26maxPrice%3D120000%26minBedrooms%3D2%26oldDisplayPropertyType%3Dhouses%26previousSearchLocation%3DSacriston%26radius%3D3.0%26searchLocation%3DSacriston%26searchType%3DSALE%26useLocationIdentifier%3Dfalse%26box%3D-1.64451%2C-1.61576%2C54.80433%2C54.81523%26popupPropertyId%3D35225451&fromMap=true

And finchale - it's beautiful, not grim, up north!
www.flickr.com/photos/paws1/7949801374

That is beautiful and the area looks stunning in Paul's pics. Thank you for that. I can see why you get homesick. I wonder how that's been on for nearly 2 months without a taker.

Yes, driving licence definitely planned for, just waiting until I've left mad London traffic behind. Can see that cycling could become a joy again too.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/fullscreen/image-gallery.html?propertyId=52893086&photoIndex=0

This is in a beautiful village 25 mins from the Metro Centre, 30 mins from Newcastle and 25 mins to Durham. Two lovely pubs, active community, large town 10 mins away with large, diverse community.

Sorry forgot you don't drive. The bus links are good from that village too. You'd get more for your money buying an ex council house in the same village.
Chester le St is nice too.
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/fullscreen/image-gallery.html?propertyId=53221271&photoIndex=0
This is a nice village too with restaurants, local shops and a few pubs, plenty going on in community centre. Good frequent bus links to Durham and other towns.

Great gamerchick, should I bring my own dictionary?

Well come on, the way you were talking it was like you think we lug our shopping home on foot and still using dialup.

Anyway, good luck in your search. Maybe a holiday to somewhere that takes your fancy first?

make sure you have a proper written tenancy with your friend. Ideally you'd want it set up for years, but her mortgage company and insurers may not allow her to do that. So you can probably only have a year at a time. That's all the security you can get. Not her fault, the fault of the mortgage and insurance system.

she needs to protect your deposit (if any) and do an annual gas safe check. The place needs to have smoke alarms and she also needs a written record of your right to be in the UK - sight of your British passport will do.

I hope she is as trustworthy as you say (and there's no reason she shouldn't be). But if she isn't, or gets into a relationship where the other half has other plans, then YOU are the one who suffers. I also don't want to rain on your parade but renting to friends is a big no-no as it so often goes wrong. Please be aware what you are getting into, which seems to be maintaining and improving a house that you may never own. The whole point of rental is that you do not pay for maintenance and improvements!!

there are other places in the UK where you can buy decent houses for that money, although I don't know how big a place you'd get in Durham.

interested how you are so au fait with your current landlord's tax affairs, BTW.

Yes, specialsubject, you're right that there are risks, but when I look at the alternatives, I see only more insecurity. We will be setting up rental agreement with a solicitor, so that should cover us both from nasty surprises.

I have seen other decent houses around the country and even visited some of those places, but the affordable ones that were closer to friends were invariably in rotten areas or had insufficient transport links. I'm sure I've missed something somewhere, but feel that if I keep looking at too large an area and have to keep researching/visiting dead ends, I'll definitely lose my mind.

Landlord told me, as the reason I can't seek hb. He's not a professional ll, just inherited this place.

You are renting from a crook. Some mortgage and insurance companies forbid HB tenants. Dodging tax is not legal. Report the bastard.

I hope your deposit is protected and there is a gas safe cert if you have gas?

re the new place; landlords' insurance policies often have add-ons for home emergency cover (I have this for my rental). In fact you can't insure what you don't own, so she has to do it anyway. The only policy you can (and should) take out is tenant's contents.

there's no reason it can't work but put yourself first, and good luck.

Thanks Zelda! When I moved my kids were tiny so I met a lot of people through the school but perhaps they weren't the best group to have as my only source of human contact! Now, I work and I feel like I fit in here. I still sometimes pinch myself that I managed to buy a (very small!!) house after all as I'd already mourned that I wouldn't ever be able to. My x is in London and he pays an amount of maintenance which goes so much further here than it would if I were paying mortgage on a house in London. Obviously it just wouldn't be possible. I'm happy here, and only occasionally do I think of how I used to believe I could never leave London. I think my x is reasonably content with the distance too. He has met somebody new. The schools that the children go to are good schools and they can walk to them and there are no 'city' type issues brought about by all but the very wealthiest being unable to afford a house.

Hey! There is Topshop in Durham, now! River Island recently closed, though.

Yes, specialsubject, you're right, he is a crook. Never checked gas, refused to fix boiler (old immersion thing - we DIYd it) and electricity; we've done all maintenance and decoration ourselves (I even built a proper kitchen - pat on back). Yet, we've not been in a position to move, so we've made do and accepted shortcomings for lower than market price rent.

I don't believe he's got a btl mortgage on the place that would stipulate no hb, as it was bought for very little by a relative of his way back when they started selling off council houses (and that would surely have been a more sensible excuse). The 3-bedroom flat above us was bought at the same time, for £20k, ours is a 1-bed, so would have been less than that.

Thanks for your well-wishes and sensible precautionary comments.

UrbaneFox, you are an inspiration. I'm glad it worked out for you and that the distance to x is not an issue; that is a consideration after all. As you say, the City types are buying up much of London, and, as on my street, the shared flats with young transient people who have no interest in being part of the wider community (I dont blame them, I remember what it was like being young - well, vaguely at least) lead to so much disruption of old communities.

You sound like you're in a really good place, I hope I can find that contentment too. Thanks so much for sharing.

I came as a student some 40 odd years ago. Then postgrad degree and cheap ex-coalboard house (just under £2,000 yes two grand) in late 70's and thriving alternative scene kept me here. I love the area, and have always felt at home here, although no-one calls me petal or flower these days...

I would check the bus timetables for places you are looking, as the last one is sometimes surprisingly early.

I would say avoid New Brancepeth, Ushaw Moor, Brandon, Sacriston, Ferryhill and Spennymoor. Crook and Willington - depends whereabouts.

Thank you Turquoisetambourine, that Chester-le-Street place is gorgeous. I am looking forward to visiting the area next week and should get a better feel for transport links then. I have a feeling Chester-le-Street might also be good from the point of view that you're close to both Durham and Newcastle, or?

Yep, Chester is about 25-30 minutes on the bus from both Durham (8 direct buses an hour, plus other options) and Newcastle (12 direct buses an hour plus others). There's also an hourly bus to the Metrocentre, which your DS would appreciate, as he gets older!