Right, deep breath...Bidets!

[Gozogozo]

We had one growing up; family with 4 females, a godsend till it broke down.

It had a small fountain in the middle od the pan part so it jetted up at you and cleaned you.

All the ones I've seen so far have a tap - how the jeff is it supposed to reach your undercarriage?

slosh around with hands

the squirter below water level is AFAIK outlawed because under some conditions grimy water can syphon back into the pipework, so you brush your teeth in bumwater.

Some bidet mixers have a nozzle that you can direct.

for example

it is called a swivel nozzle

Brilliant, thank you PigletJohn!

Bumwater

Oh, Greencheese... Me too!

I lived in a house with a bidet for 11 years, and the damned thing was used precisely three times (stitches post-DS). It had a twizzly tap.

snigger.....

Had one of France - loved it. Great too for washing feet!

Love mine! apart from obvious washing lady parts it makes a great foot spa, great for washing feet and shaving legs. Ours has a swivel tap, the cat sometimes like to drink out the fountain and when ds was starting to walk he used to use it for washing his hands.

My old Mum has just had one put in and loves it.

I'm absolutely sure if I had the room I'd have one too even though I've never used one! must be brilliant to feel really clean without having to shower (after daily ablutions) or hang your arse over the edge of the bath...!

Japanese bidets are brilliant and fit on the existing toilet.

Oh, I wish we were more into bumwashing in the UK. Everybody thinks bidets are weird! What's weird about being freshly-washed Down There, eh? Eh??!

Mumsnet introduced me to the concept of bum-showers as, evidently, prescribed by Islam. I then went off & discovered there's a huge range of UK-friendly ones with temperature controls. I'm sure Piglet knows what I'm on about ...

Why do Brits think it's weird to sluice your arse, anyway?

For emergency use, if you don't have a bidet eg leg in plaster so no shower, I discovered a temporary one via Amazon like a white plastic top hat which you put on loo. A life saver. Also discovered Limbo plastic leg coverers which means you can have a shower.

Just a quick bumwash question as I've never used a bidet (I may be over sharing here) , once you've washed said bum, what do you dry it with? Loo roll? A towel?

Garlic, I remember someone once posting that if we got our own shit anywhere else on our body (arm, leg, fingers) we would NOT just wipe it off with a bit of Andrex......

Greencheese, you have a wee handtowel (or smaller) hanging on a rail over the bidet.

In theory, yes

In my house you invariably curse and have to drip drip your way over to the airing cupboard to get one, whilst promising yourself to do your pelvic floor exercises more often.

Hmmm, rows of bum towels.

Sorry OP, I'm only playing.

I have said this before but we have a small as in titchy basket of guess towels next to bidet when finished go in laundry bin. Although due to space we don't have a bidet in the UK.

They are also great when your little one does a big poo.

Guest not guess

Hello!

I have been researching a bit more and found combined bidet-toilets like
www.amazon.co.uk/everything-supplied-item-have-water/forum/Fx23GL1FYAPG2ID/Tx2KZXTDSMUQ1F6/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_aar_al_a?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B003EGAEX0

Anyone got one? Seems like a spacesaver, and no hobbling around bathroom with pants around ankles...

This is the sort of thing I fancy! It has a hot/cold mixer, looks tidy ... and, as one reviewer points out, you can also use it to wash your hair (I'm assuming her sink's near the loo.)

That, Garlic, is the business!

In the scheme of a complete bathroom refit, it isn't even especially expensive.

Thank you!

My pleasure! And my envy