what to prioritise in looking for a family home?

[kalidasa]

We are just beginning to think about starting the process of looking for a house to move to next year. We have a DS who is 21 months and a new baby (also a DS) due in January. Provided DS2 arrives safely, we aren't planning to have any more children. We live in North London and have identified the generally slightly cheaper (relatively!) area we want to move to. We live in a flat at the moment and DH has never lived in a house (grew up in central Paris). I am yearning for all the traditional things - big kitchen with room for a proper table, space for a piano, bit of a garden etc etc - and we should realistically be able to afford a house in our target area but we are bound to have to compromise to some extent. Would be great to know what those with slightly older children think is worth prioritising and what not? Storage? Downstairs family space vs. bedroom size? More than one bathroom? We both work partly from home so ideally need the space to accommodate that as well. I realise it's a pretty vague question but would be v. grateful for any thoughts.

I would say a downstairs loo is a must! Or at least the potential to put one in. Potty training is no fun if you have to run up and down to the toilet - or emptying and washing a potty!

Separate quieter/sanity room (traditionally a formal dining room I guess). Our piano is in a separate living room - which is also where study (hidden in a bureau) is and all other musical instruments.

The family room is where most of the toys/mess are! I'm n london too.

Eat-in kitchen.

These would be my top:

Downstairs loo ideally (with potty training and guests)

Large kitchen preferable over large Reception rooms (or dining room).

Garden big enough for trampoline OR very near parks (ie. 5 min walk or less).

Bedroom big enough to play in (toys can be upstairs and few in kitchen and leave sitting room for TV/ reading/ adult space). Boys could share a room so as long as there is one room big enough for bunk beds and play area/ toy storage.

Catchment area.

Good point upthread about parking. I am in London and whilst off road parking would be nice, I wouldn't personally prioritise it - but would check that the parking is ok, and road is not v narrow or fully parked up. Check it around 8pm as during the day, it's probably emptier. Difficult parking can make life a misery on a daily basis and is not something 'you get used to' like a small kitchen or downstairs bathroom (in my opinion).

More than one bathroom ideally, but more than one loo DEFiNITELY.

Some off street parking, or at least somewhere where you stand a good chance of being able to park 2 cars right outside your own house without having to fight off the neighbours.

A garden that isn't always in the shade of the house or the neighbours' house/trees. It doesn't have to be south facing but it has to get at least some sunlight at certain times of day.

Catchment for a decent school.

Decent sized kitchen with plenty of storage that isn't miles away from where the dining table is.

Not on a busy road, or if that is too much to ask then at least make sure the house is well set back from the road in question.

Light. A nice, light house is very important. Dark gloomy houses are so depressing.

The things I loved when we had small children were:

Off street parking
Garden
Downstairs cloakroom
Large kitchen with space for a table

If I were you in addition I would prioritise catchment area, and work space-not just a laptop sitting on your bed.

crossed posts about the parking Merry!

I live near somewhere that is a very popular area of loads and loads of roads full of lovely Victorian terraced cottages. It is considered very sought after, but I prefer the more soulless new builds a mile or so away. Why? Parking and outside space. The roads full of terraces have an AWFUL problem with parking. It's a struggle to get from one end of the road to the other without losing a wing mirror most days, and God help you if you meet someone coming the other way. It's stressful enough as a visitor, so God only knows what it does to one's blood pressure trying to live there. Also each house has two wheelie bins and hardly any front garden space or rear access, so the whole street is littered with wheelie bins 7 days a week and it looks bloody awful.

We have done fine with parking even if it's not right outside the house, it's often a few houses down or on the other side of the road. Not a massive problem. There are things which help massively, like sliding doors on the back car doors, so whilst strapping kids in you are not blocking the road with an open door. Also, you generally only need 1 car if one or both of you is using the train to commute.

I think if you are TOO fussy about parking in London, it will seriously limit your choices. However, do avoid places (very narrow roads, neighbours with 8 cars etc.) which you feel would make your blood boil on a daily basis!

Off-road parking
Downstairs loo
More than one downstairs reception room (so people can do different activities, watch different things on TV etc without disturbing everyone else)
Garden with room to kick a football (unless adjacent to a park)
Bedrooms big enough for children to have a desk to do homework
Enough room to store things for hobbies
Detached so you don't need to worry so much about noise you make and aren't so affected by neighbours' noise

Ideally some kind of off-road parking.

And my personal bugbear.... if the house has any sani-flow loos, run a mile. Your toddlers will try to flush their toothbrush down them, chuck wet wipes down them, use it as a swimming pool for their Barbie doll.... and they will break. And even if your toddlers do none of the above, every time a woman of child-bearing age visits, you will have to give them a lecture on toilet etiquette. Don't go there. Please. Unless you're looking to buy my house, in which case ignore all of the above.

As a North Londoner I think some of peoples priorities on this thread would be considered luxuries around here!

for me:

school catchment (research primaries AND secondaries thoroughly)

bedroom size - small rooms are OK to start with but older children and teenagers need more space and will outgrow due to homework,hobbies, friends (alternatively get somewhere big enough for now with potential for loft conversion later)

second loo (with 2 children I haven't found not having a second bathroom important)

space for a table in or near kitchen

proximity to good local shops

good neighbours!

a generous hall is useful for buggies etc.

on the other hand:

off street parking not essential

garden doesn't need to be enormous so long as there is space to play out

terraced is fine (but semi is better so that you have access to the garden for bikes etc)

Good luck, and let us know how you get on!

Off road Parking or very good chance of a parking space outside the house. The alternative (having to park in nearby roads) is majorly stressful with young children

Walking distance or 10 min max driving distance to a good school

Big garden

Large living space (sitting rooms and kitchen/storage)

Ample storage space (space for fitted wardrobes in yours and kids rooms, cellar/storage room and eaves space)

2 bathrooms

Downstairs loo

Detached house so you don't have to hear the neighbours and vice versa

Granted, you'll probably have to fork out a lot of ££ for all of the above in any decent areas of london

Ok - for me it was

• school catchment and walking distance to school
• local amenities (park, bus, tube, corner shop)
• neighbours (no point buying a terrace house next to a house full of students like some of the places we saw)
• parking situation on street
• downstairs living space (needs lots of storage for toys and buggy)
• space for washing machine and tumble drier
• more than one bathroom (the place we bought had one bathroom and a downstairs loo - we did renovation work and added another bathroom which is a godsend as your kids get older)

We went for a place with a small garden as we are near a park

Several people have said big bedrooms for the children to play in and have friends sleep over. Mine never played in their bedroom because they had a lot of shared toys and games and always played together, but didnt want to be in the others bedroom. Luckily we had a seperate playroom, but I would have given up a formal dining room or an office for this.

Again, an office is great, but nowadays with laptops, remote printing etc it isnt necessary and can be a much smaller area tucked away in the hall, on the landing, in the kitchen...

Def 2 bathrooms, downstairs loo, secure back garden, large enough kitchen for table (while you cook, they can eat or do homework, or chat).

• Catchment areas (though they're fluid from year to year around here and soon you'll have to live on the doorstep to get in)
• a garden of some kind, even if it's just big enough for a sand & water table.
• kitchen big enough for a decent sized table. (Just having one family round means we need to feed seven people for lunch - just because they're children doesn't mean the chairs are smaller)
• decent sized lounge, with room enough for everyone & toys in it i.e. all 7+ of us when we've got visitors, because the kids won't necessarily want to go and play upstairs for a few years yet.
• potential for expansion (loft/side return etc), because this will be something you can do in a few years when you've really figured out what you need as a family, rather than paying for & living with someone else's ideas. You can then add the second bathroom/loo so a house without one wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

We're in London too, & you do end up compromising on something.

We are going to move next year and top of my wish list is a house layout where I can see both the garden and the living areas from the kitchen. Preferably open plan.

With young dc you want to be able to see them when they're outside and also keep an eye when you're cooking etc.

My DH banged on an on about off-street parking when we searched for our family home 10yrs ago. I thought he was being too fussy, but we ended up buying a house with a driveway and my goodness I'm so relieved we did.

Also, if you can afford it, go detached - we moved from terraced to detached and the joy of (a) not hearing the neighbours and (b) not worrying about our noisy kids disturbing the neighbours is brilliant.

Other things we love:
Downstairs loo
Separate downstairs playroom (so all toys go in there at the end of the day, and are not crammed down the back of the sofa!)

For us- Off road parking a must (though perhaps not a London issue) everyone around us has off road parking for at least two cars, which means that the roads are clear and it's easier to walk/drive/cross.
Also-
Walking distance to school/most dc activities/friends/shop/doctors/amenities/park/countryside
Large kitchen/diner
downstairs loo
separate dc space e.g. playroom/teen room
office - I work from home too
small private and sunny garden (prefer the easy maintenance)
decent sized rooms especially bedrooms
No doer-uppers or high maintenance
Utility and conservatory are nice to have, but if we had to compromise, it would be one or the other or do without both.

1. Catchment area. Primary and Secondary

1. Garden (esp if you have boys). Big enough for football net. Trampolining etc.

1. Utility room

1. Large kitchen diner (or ability to make one) ideally with room for sofa etc so its one big room where you can all hang out, and a separate lounge (as a more adult space).

1. Bedroom space.

1. Parking

These are a must for my next move;

Downstairs toilet
Large family bathroom
Off road parking
Large garden
Two large reception rooms
Large kitchen/diner
Large bedrooms, especially for the children

1 Location

1. Location

3.Location 4.Space - you will grow and change what is your priority over time, with space you have options

After that, I'd go with off road parking, downstairs toilet, kitchen big enough to fit a table in, nice size garden. However all these things are relative, and cost a different 'premium' in different parts of the country. Some places, no areas of the town have -say own parking, in other areas it wouldn't be on a wish list as everyone has load so it doesn't cross your mind how restrictive it is when you don't have it. Also public transport is so different in different areas.

btw, by 'location' I mean 'local to things that are important to you' which might be very different from a location the next person might be looking for. That might be the station or schools (prob important in your circumstances) rather than 'a nice view'.

So for you - checking out the local schools would be a really HUGE part of what I mean by location.

Things I love about our home:

Off road parking - big enough to get 2 cars on/off with ease
Utility room - I thought we'd knock through to the kitchen, but it's a fantastic space for storage and laundry (can dry in there through the winter)
Downstairs loo and shower room. Have a think about future activites. Our ds's play rugby and spend a lot of time a the beach so not traipsing mud and sand upstairs is great.
Safe garden big enough for a trampoline/climbing frame. Side access is handy too.
Garage - the car never goes in, but DH's tools outdoor kit (he climbs and canoes) and ds's bikes and scooters, the family camping kit and gardening stuff all live in there.

Schools - save yourself a barrow load of stress and cost.
Two bathrooms. Location is irrelevant imo
Two bedrooms of a similar size or a large room for the boys to share
A house with the potential to extend - up or out
A useful nook in the hall for a soaking wet buggy and scooters or side access [brilliant for muddy bike wheels, coal deliveries etc etc]
A spare room to host helpful relatives/au pair/overnight babysitter.

A large garden is lovely, especially with boys but ultimately they will be in school before you know it and spend most of their time there, so look for the right school now with some decent outside space.

Thanks all this is super useful. Have to say I had not even considered being able to get off-road parking/garage or a detached house - those are just not on our radar in this part of North London (zone 2). It would be amazing to have off-road parking but we never have had it so I guess won't miss it too much, though checking out the parking situation at different times of the day is v. sensible. We don't use the car that much - i.e. not for commuting and don't anticipate using it for a school run - and we just have one.

I think almost everything we look at will be terraced, but good point about the advantages of semi-detached, even with only a narrow alleyway. Hadn't really thought of that.

We have chosen the area partly with schools in mind (we are in a non-church state-primary black hole where we are at the moment), though will obviously need to keep an eye on precise catchments etc. It's an area with several decent primary schools, though, not just one, which we like.

Big hall for the buggy and general detritus is high on my list - at the moment we have a tiny shared hall, with a front door at the top of a steep flight of steps, and then more stairs inside to our door. Doable with one toddler but I definitely want something more convenient for the double-buggy stage we are about to enter . . .

At the moment we are v. lucky and both have a study. Would be amazing if we could keep that but realistically may be an area for compromise.

DH doesn't "get" the garden thing at all and is scared of the maintenance but I think it is a must if at all possible with two small children. Good points about checking sunlight situation in the garden and view from kitchen to garden.

Large bathroom would be lovely actually, ours is nice but tiny.