what to prioritise in looking for a family home?

[kalidasa]

We are just beginning to think about starting the process of looking for a house to move to next year. We have a DS who is 21 months and a new baby (also a DS) due in January. Provided DS2 arrives safely, we aren't planning to have any more children. We live in North London and have identified the generally slightly cheaper (relatively!) area we want to move to. We live in a flat at the moment and DH has never lived in a house (grew up in central Paris). I am yearning for all the traditional things - big kitchen with room for a proper table, space for a piano, bit of a garden etc etc - and we should realistically be able to afford a house in our target area but we are bound to have to compromise to some extent. Would be great to know what those with slightly older children think is worth prioritising and what not? Storage? Downstairs family space vs. bedroom size? More than one bathroom? We both work partly from home so ideally need the space to accommodate that as well. I realise it's a pretty vague question but would be v. grateful for any thoughts.

Essentials would be off road parking as you don't want to be getting young children in and out of a car on a busy road.
A bedroom each or a large bedroom to share and a playroom.
Storage.

Nice would be a kitchen diner or large kitchen as mine have been under my feet in my ok sized kitchen when I have been cooking dinner.

Take home info on the boiler location, make and model and see how old it is and whether it needs replacing, the age of the windows, and visit the local schools if you are planning on using state schools, don't read their ofsted reports, you need to see them.

Hopefully this will be really useful to you, as I think, for many of us, you don't really think something is a priority until you suddenly don't have it, then it becomes TOP of your list for the next property!

It's so interesting what people's priorities are. In London you have to distinguish between absolutely essential, would make your life easier and would be nice to have. And to realise that these change as your children grow. We have been in our house since our children were tiny and now have teenagers.

I would put schools at number 1 as an absolute essential. If you are planning to stay put for a few years then you need to look at the secondary options or be prepared to move again when your eldest is 9 or so.

After that a garden of some sort would be next on my list. With a baby and a toddler it can be remarkably hard to get out of the house sometimes, baby is asleep, toddler won't get dressed, you're expecting a delivery etc. Children need somewhere to be noisy and run around without driving you mad and so do their visiting friends.

I wouldn't put parking as a high priority myself. I've never had off-street parking and it doesn't bother me. See if there is residents only parking to keep the spaces free from commuters etc, in the context of house prices the cost of a permit is a drop in the ocean and and if you can park outside the house and get the children out on the pavement side it's fine.

We have one bathroom and it's fine. Downstairs or second loo is nice to have especially if potty training, but potty training time is finite. I always had a potty close by when the children were learning anyway so loo close by is not essential I think.

I would want a bedroom each for the children. They will need their own space when they are older.

Near a park is nice (and what a lot of friends envy about our location). Great for letting off steam, picnics and learning to ride bikes.

Near a railway station or tube station and other public transport links is good to ensure you and your DP don't spend your lives commuting and great for day trips from quite an early age. I love taking my children into London and being able to get there and back quickly and easily.

Spare room for visiting grandparents and friends is nice to have.

I agree on the hall space for the double buggy now and trikes and bikes later.

Yes, exactly backforgood! Though I also think there are some things you don't really miss if you've never had them, whereas other things are actively inconvenient even if you've always had to put up with them . . .

Thanks funambulist you are obviously a woman after my own heart! Yes, where we are at the moment is residents only parking and to be honest it is fine. We can't always park right outside but almost always on our street. The area we are looking at is the same I think.

Both where we are now and where we are looking are roughly equally central (zone 2) - where we are looking is a bit less 'smart' and has slightly less good transport links but still good with more than one tube line reasonably close.

Longer term we are not quite sure as we might move to Cambridge eventually; but if we do stay put the secondary options seem OK as well. We might consider private at secondary level; and if not, they can obviously travel a bit further if necessary. I haven't researched the secondary schools as carefully but it seems that even the most local state secondary schools are pretty good.

We are also keen to find an area where we have more in common with other residents. Where we are now is lovely and extremely well connected and filled with other people with babies/toddlers but we are a bit out of sync with the demographic - most people are doing quite different jobs to us and have quite different interests/perspectives/lifestyles as a result. We'd like to be somewhere with a bit more of a mix.

DH doesn't "get" the garden thing at all and is scared of the maintenance but I think it is a must if at all possible with two small children. Good points about checking sunlight situation in the garden and view from kitchen to garden.

Two words - artificial lawn. Or google "low maintenance family garden" for inspiration.

Schools, location, amenities. Potential to extend. Not damp! Damp issues can be a never-ending battle.

Interconnecting rooms that allow children to run round and round.

1. "Catchment area" for primary school (but for that you need in depth knowledge of situation in your borough plus all the planning potential as we've found out to our surprise)
2. Situation with secondary schools (private ones are bursting at the seams in London, it's not simply a question of paying for education any more)
3. Close and varied transport links (it's a misery when you are stuck with busses and no station in walking distance)
4. How friendly and open people are & how sane are immediate neighbours (it depends how sociable you are of course but there are places with too much people turnover and / or too insular)
5. How light is the house or is there potential to make it lighter

So for me in short it's LL: location & light.

Re catchment are: schools change and your eldest is only 21m so I wouldn't fret about it too much. If the choice is pokey house in a 'good' catchement area or a decent sized house in an okay but nothing special catchment, or even a needs imrpovement catchement, I'd go for the space over the school catchment.

Also, it is too easy to read Ofsted reports and think a school has to be awful if it doesn't get an outstanding. Often, as primary schools can be small, it only takes one problem family (i.e. presistant lates, disinterested parents) to drag down a school's average while they are there but it is nigh on impossible to discovered that from the publically available stats (disclaimer: other half is a governor at our eldest's primary school, it's been eye-opening). Parental involvement is as important, if not more so, than the overall school performance in primary school - ask any primary school teacher.

And as for secondary schools, who knows what they'll be like in a decade's time?

Apologies for my typos of catchment (what's with the extra e?)

I agree some people's lists aren't really possible in the city. As a Londoner my priorities were that the house either needed to have or had the potential to have with work:
Catchment for good primary school and preferably good secondary school as well
Close proximity to transport to minimize my commute
Close to the park as gardens where I live are generally small and I like to run in the park anyhow
Close to local amenities
Potential for each child to have own good-sized bedroom (can hold a bed / desk / full size wardrobe / toys etc)
Kitchen large enough to socialize in
Two living areas so people can do their own thing without disturbing each other
Storage
At least two bathrooms and a downstairs loo
Period property

We are also keen to find an area where we have more in common with other residents. Where we are now is lovely and extremely well connected and filled with other people with babies/toddlers but we are a bit out of sync with the demographic - most people are doing quite different jobs to us and have quite different interests/perspectives/lifestyles as a result. We'd like to be somewhere with a bit more of a mix.

Where I live is very mixed and I love it. But recently (last 2 years, I moved here 9 years ago), the demographic has changed a lot and it seems to have become a suburb of Hackney Hipsters. I feel really out of place now! (But hey, it's been great for house prices )

Just a note on lots of good primaries in the area.. Unless you are in the catchment for one (and by catchment I mean check the maximum distance the places have been allocated in the last few years), you may find that you don't quite get in any of the local ones due to others being closer and you could end up much further away. This was the situation in our old neighbourhood where at 700m we were unlikely to get into the nearest and just too far from the others...

Thanks all. Yes, I have made a note of max distance of allocated places at the relevant primary schools - they are all pretty small (about a quarter of a mile) so it definitely would be possible to fall between them and therefore - presumably - be sent somewhere further away. Which would be frustrating with four good primaries within easy walking distance!

I feel that secondary is a bit far off to worry about too much, aside from checking that it's not a disaster.

Great lists everyone, thanks. Lots to think about.

Hello - we have recently done a similar move to the one you describe, from zone 1 to zone 2, terraced house. My biggest piece of advice - be honest with yourself about how much fixing up it needs, and how much you can/want to take on. Speaking from experience!!!

5 years ago when I bought my first house my must haves were:

• max 15 min walk to a commuting station
• eat-in kitchen
• a proper hallway (not a tunnel in a victorian terrace)
• western or close-to-western facing garden
• catchment of a good primary

5 years on, I am looking to move and what I have on my wish list:

• semi-detached if I can afford
• eat-in kitchen
• proper hallway
• dowstairs loo
• catchment of a good secondary
• max 15 min walk to a commuting station
• 3 bedrooms
• easy parking (does not have to be off-road)
• storage of some sort for bikes and stuff (garage ideally)

Good luck with your move!

As a mum of two boys - yes a separate bathroom is essential - a bathroom of your own that in 10 years time will not be full of empty cans of Lynx, football magazines, spot cream and a sink full off toothpaste!!!

Also - for us having a bedroom each for both boys is a godsend - sometimes they really need their own space.

The biggest garden you can get is a must.. The secret with boys is to wear them out so you will need lots of space for goalposts, trampolines and nerf gun wars

Kalidasa

I am going to go against the grain and say if you live near a park a big garden is not essential. At all. Off street parking in certain areas of london is just not possible/ likely and I have never had it - it doesn't matter. If you both work at home then two quiet areas during the day will count - could be two reception rooms - or one and a study , or one recep and a live in kitchen and a spare bedroom during the day = be creative.

I'd be more concerned about good schools and the general area

FWIW
BH

Oh and if it is a forever house then a bathroom plus a shower room for DCs would be great and I agree - give them a room each if you can.

Good nurseries and schools within walking distance.

A park, preferably more than one, within walking distance.

A sunny garden. Lots of playing out, paddling and sand pit etc. room for trampoline and a shed!

Kitchen Diner for shared playing/cooking.

Place for the buggy to live, like a utility room, so that if you come home with dc asleep in the buggy you don't have to wake them up!

Nice neighbours!

I never had a need for downstairs loo and don't use a car.

Going on walks with children is very fun. I agree, live near a station and shops.

I just said the same thing as funambulist!

this is really interesting, especially the number of people saying 'those priorities are not really possible when you live in London' or the centre of a big expensive town or city.

When my children were young I would always prioritise pleasant, spacious, calm and stress free living surroundings and some private outdoor space over being somewhere central and trendy ANY day. If it meant I had to move to the less exciting, less cool 'burbs then so be it. I think cities have their good points but there's no way I would have liked it when my children were small. Living in a flat with no garden and having to drag children and shopping up a flight of stairs would have driven me especially nuts.

So I guess you people are prioritising the house being a very central/city based location and easy access to cultural/entertainment stuff over how enjoyable and practical your actual house is to live in day to day.

No on has said she should live in a flat with no garden up a flight of stairs... (that was her husband!)

The only thing people have said aren't priorities in London are off-street parking and being detached and I can't see how either of those things are essential for raising children in an "enjoyable / practical house" as you say....

For many who raise children in London its because that's where we work and staying in London allows us to have a shorter commute and therefore more family time together, which actually is essential.

I don't live in London, so I have pretty much my 'ideal' house - however these are the things I would prioritise about my own house

School catchment - primary and secondary
Off road parking
Downstairs loo
Large garden
Storage space - garage and attic. It's all very well converting your attic, but where will you put all of your 'stuff?'
Large kitchen
Study
Walkable to facilities such as shops
Good transport links (but we drive so don't need the tube etc)
Playroom
Spare room for guests