I hate my house

[superbagpuss]

when we bought it 8 years ago it was a stop gap house until we had DC and moved somewhere bigger

Life hasn't gone as planned and we have 4 of us plus pets in a small 3 bed terrace. Third bedroom is small so used as a junk room.

There is stuff everywhere - I clear out every so often but more stuff (dc and dh) just keeps coming

I am not one for having loads of stuff, but it just keeps coming.

I would love more space and bigger garden but unless we win the lottery I don't think we can buy a bigger house.

Storage is fully utilised so use the space we have - boxes under all beds and in wardrobes but I am dreading Christmas in a way as they amount we get rid of beforehand won't equal what comes in.

What can we do?

DH has finally helped clear the bedroom with me so at least we can walk round the bed which was a start!

Could you board out your loft so you can store more up there? Do you have a shed in the garden that can hold some of your overspill? A 3 bed house for a family of 4 really should be okay. The real key will be to do a ruthless de-clutter. After that implement a one-in / one-out rule.

Children dont need and dont regularly use half the stuff they have!

Hi London girl

Roof was boarded but we had a leak so had to throw stuff out. Now just Christmas stuff, suitcases and stuff I want to keep from when DC were little is up there.

We have a garage and did a ruthless clear out before the summer so at least there is space in there now.

I feel bad about the have some in their room, some downstairs and some (the messy stuff) in the spare room for when we have time to do it together - but we never find time.

A three bed with a garage should be manageable.

The size of the house might not be the problem.

Is it possible that subconsciously you're not making the most of the space because you had other expectations and you dont want to be there?

Suggestions would be to

• rethink the pets
• clear out the junk room. People are more important than stuff.
• consider off site storage. TBH with an attic and a garage you shouldnt neet it.

- consider the possibility that there might be a slight hording issue or a problem letting things go.

Hi Bagpuss :)

your situation sounds very similar to mine - stopgap house turned into long term house (been here 10 years now!), 3 of us here plus a dog and cat, 2 1/2 bed house (smaller bedroom is only accessed from 2nd bedroom so cant be used as a real room), tools (DH) and toys (DD) clutter the house and nowhere to store anything!

it is miserable isnt it!

we have built a cupboard under our stairs, use the loft as much as possible and underbed/top of wardrobe boxes etc...

not much advice but i feel your pain!

Hi

Thanks

Not sure what you mean about rethink the pets? We have cats so other then food dishes they don't take a lot of space.

I do think there is a clutter problem, dh likes collecting things and I have a book case or two full of books but I wouldn't say we were hoaders.

We are on the case to sort spare room. At the moment it holds spare single bed, two half sized books cases and wardrobe full of stuff, childrens toys, a couple of guitars, clothes for DC to grow into, art/ craft stuff for dc. Presents for christmas/ birthday parties that dc will be going to, wrapping paper.

DH has a big pile of junk in there he needs to sort out, I'm hoping this time it actually gets done.

downstairs we have one room and a kitchen. Ironing board and hoover etc get put in the space under the stairs.

Its just the fact that you mentioned the pets gave me the impression that they are adding to the lack of space. If they're not then leave them be.

Reading between the lines, from what little information I have, it sounds like your dh's collecting might be pushing the space to its limits.

It sounds like there could be a huge amount of unused space in the loft. I would be looking to do something to make that space usable. Could you look into reboarding it or something?

Could you consider an extension? Maybe build into the loft and add another room? I know this is an expensive option, but it's cheaper than moving house and could be a longer-term solution. We are considering doing this in the next couple of years as we are a family of 4 in a 3-bed house with no garage and could do with a bit more space too.

Loft is tiny and so is back garden.
Also where we live we are not allowed to change the shape of the house IYSIM so no extension.

Burnishsilver - DH does have a problem with collecting stuff but he is getting better as he realises we don't have infinate space and it annoying not being able to find things. His worst habit is buying stuff becuase they are cheap, things we don't need or will use!

we're in a little 3 bed terrace with 2 dc and pets.
we are not going to move - 4 houses are a step too far mortgage wise, and I can't be arsed with the hassle of moving for a bigger 3 bed.

I think you need to declutter ruthlessly and regularly. One-in one-out policy for things helps, yes, even books although most people here think that's all kinds of evil.

Look at vertical storage - see if you can get shelves reaching high on the walls etc. Don't forget as well that toys are biggest when DC are preschoolers, and as they grow they need less room for their stuff.

Can you get a high sleeper in the box room? we're doing this next year when dd2 moves out of the cot bed. If it works better as a store room then actually get proper storage furniture for it, rather than just piling stuff in like i do.

Sounds like you need to get the family on board re a very ruthless clear out and then operate a one in, one out policy from there.

Could you have a family project of de cluttering and selling stuff? Have you gone as high as the ceiling with storage as there is often a lot of unused space high up? Are you hanging on to old children and baby stuff? Do you all wear all the clothes and shoes you own? Is using the 3rd bedroom for storage the best use of space?
I understand where you are coming from, my last house was only going to be for a few years and we ended up staying for 12.

I agree with you about the books barbara. I'd much rather keep them in circulation being read than gathering dust.

Super, do you think would it help to give your dh a limited dedicated space to cordon off his collecting eg a wall of shelving in the garage? If he wanted to buy more beyond that he'd have to get rid of something else to make space. It couldn't impinge on family space.

Perhaps things like guitars could be wall hung. I always notice in movies set in New York people have all kinds of things, even bikes, wall mounted in their small apartments.

It sounds like its all a bit overwhelming at the moment.

thank you for all the advice

I actually love the idea of the guitars being wall hung, I have a space downstairs in mind and will raise this with dh. Also the more I can see it, the more I am likely to play.

We do need another big declutter so will do that now - dh is 'allowed' the space next to his side of the bed and a shelve he has put up for this collection, but I do think i need to prod him about this again.

I think that we should rethink the spare room and maybe use it as proper storage instead of piling stuff on the bed/ wardrobe. The issue is every year we think this is the last year we are here and then we can't move for various reasons so not willing to spend too much on the house.

Another suggestion is to get some quotes for bespoke storage to be built by a local carpenter. Sometimes it is not that expensive.

Bespoke storage is a really good suggestion. The biggest waste of space in our house is the cupboard under the stairs. Things get chucked in there and never come out again because we can't access it properly or find anything. I would so love to get some bespoke under-stair storage - drawers, more than one door etc - so it is actually useable space.

I venture that you DO have a clutter problem, although most of us cannot see our own clutter. (and I do not exclude myself from this!)

your husband sounds like a big part of it. Implement a 'nothing else coming in' policy right now (except food and other consumables) If it isn't going to disappear, it doesn't come in.

any more kids planned? If not, everything outgrown goes out now; clothes, books, toys.

if you have a garage and it is secure, why are the tools in the house? Get it all hung on the garage walls; a screwdriver rack and nails to hang things on make a big and immediate difference.

do NOT rent storage. More than three months and you could buy the stuff all again.

any room long enough to lie down in is a bedroom. Don't waste it as a place for junk.

ps if you do move, every single item will need to be packed and lifted. I find that concentrates the mind wonderfully. Imagine you are moving even if you aren't.

I have a one in one out policy. So if for example I buy 3 new items of clothing I try and get rid of 3. The reality is probably 1 or 2 but it does help.

Hi op. similar problem here. We are stuck in negative equity.

No attic storage only enough to fit Christmas tree an possibly few vacuum bags, no garden tiny shed thing.

In extreme argos sell sofas with storage. Beds can't be bought that you lift the matress and store stuff.

We have expedit (there's new version now) on every available wall white with white baskets or doors.. Stores tonnes and doesn't close in the space

Ottomans from Argos - cream extra large. Can actually fit all toys in here.. Lot of space.

Are you really, really ruthless? Take photos or artwork and make photobooks. Same with photos. CDs - decant from all boxes and buy files. Better still save onto of and donte/ sell

One spare set bedding in locker beside bed (I bought tiny slimline bathroom cabinets and got pretty handles - they look lovely like s tongue and groove effect and got rid of my large oak ones) only have few extra sheets for cot

Paperwork. Scan and keep. Things you need originals out in a slimline pocket a4 orgsnisier with clear poly pockets and place back to back. Saved me another large cart of stuff.

Pinterest - storsge ideas or apaprtment living

Streamline wardrobe and plates, cutlery etc. even tea Towels have been carted off. I wash every day so my drawers aren't stuffed

Disclaimer - got most for my ideas from an old 'm' thread on here.

If you want to be extreme... Beds can be bought

Sorry,typed too fast

Save onto PC

Definitely sounds like you need to declutter. This would not only make your house pleasant to live in now, but it would be more saleable when the time comes to move on (and probably get you a better price). Plus, when you're surrounded by so much stuff, I think it makes it mentally harder to even seriously contemplate moving as it just seems to be so much effort. You'll feel more energised when you have got space to move.

Maybe try ebaying some stuff? Get rid of books you no longer need (I get rid of all my novels - if I want to read them again, I can get them from the library).

You have too much stuff. There are 4 of us in a 2 bedroomed house, and the answer is to be ruthless about unnecessary stuff. I enjoy reading minimalism blogs for inspiration, and it feels really good having only stuff you love in the house. We give (and encourage relatives to give) lots of experience presents to the children, so things like bowling, ice skating, music or sports lessons and trips to the cinema or theatre.

I'm also trying to de clutter and know its not as easy as it should be

I love books, but now I either buy, read then donate or buy in kindle/ebook format. The ones I have kept are either classics or those belonging to great grandparents so kept for sentimental reasons (but only if there's room!).

I've also done the same as your OH in buying things because they're cheap. I put together all the stuff I'd bought like this so I could see how much I had to try and get it into my head that I just don't need any more. So far it's worked...

Can you cut down on clothes etc? I've recently had a cull and got rid of a load of stuff I just don't wear, making more room (I followed the project 333 idea).

In terms of toys, I try to have a regular 3 month review of books, toys etc and "put away" those that are out of favour, which then get binned/ebayed/charity shopped if they're not missed. Or could you give them a box that all the toys should fit into and any more should go?

We are also four in a two bed terraced cottage (a little over 500 sq ft) you have to be ruthless and come to terms with the fact that decluttering is on going part of your life. As soon as something isn't needed. It needs to be got out. We go as far as only have one bowl/plates/cup per person for example. We don't entertain though, so we are able to do that. Also, we don't keep extra sets of bedding. With a tumble dryer dirty bedding can be off and clean on again in a day.