SE London or country/coast for kids and teenagers?

[philbee]

We live in SE London and until recently I really liked it. Am now a bit fed up with the spitting, dog shit etc. and thinking about whether it's also a bit stabby and dodgy for the DDs once they're older (and possibly now too, tbh).

We went on a holiday to lovely Suffolk coast this summer and it seemed so nice to be outside, at the beach etc., and that that's what childhood should be about, and I enjoyed it a lot too. But are teenagers better off not in a rural place? I don't know and don't know about jobs out of London, we are both website / information people so possibly not much around for us outside London. What do others think about the best place for children to grow up?

Gah, confusing, idon'tbowl! Bromley is not v appealing though. I just don't know where they would go in Lewisham to go out, it's all fairly grim, no cinema etc.

starfish I think Kent coast looks good - I need to investigate. Cornwall is very beautiful but probably too far from family for us, the appeal of the Suffolk coast was partly that it wasn't far to London. Maybe a few trips are in order!

Definitely - are your jobs quite portable or would you be commuting as I suppose that could influence what you'd have to rule out

We are considering relocation too. We live in an 'rapidly up and coming' still terrifying in parts bit of East London.

Don't get me wrong, I love living here and would stay here in a heartbeat if it weren't for my DSs. But there have been two stabbings, one fatal, at the end of my road this summer, drugs are being dealt outside my house and our car's been broken into twice this year. I'm not saying my DSs would be the ones involved in the stabby stuff but I don't want them witnessing stuff like that. If it's not them, it could be one of their friends, or a friend's relative.

I want them to have the freedom to roam a bit and, if they have to make them, make their mistakes (drink, drugs, whatever) in an environment that's generally safer. Of course there are violent people and situations everywhere but they do seem rather less lethally dangerous out of E.London.

We are not far from you, more honor oak/ forest hill. I think the big benefit when they are a bit older is the EL line. Then they are 15 mins from the O2 for cinema, 25 from Stratford for shopping etc. It's possibly a bit "softer" SE London than Lewisham/ Catford but can still be affordable if you look around.
It's nice around here, kids playing footy/ tennis in the street eye as well as in the parks, and so far I feel pretty safe even though its quiet at night.

Of course the big positives of Bromley or Beckenham are the houses... You could almost get lost in them!

Philbee, I am at the fact that you live in Lewisham and don't fancy your DD's shopping in Lewisham - tis one of the places all the young teens from ED and surrounds go to! They could get the bus to Peckham for the cinema - that's where all ours go!

bigtilly I know, it's daft, isn't it? Now I understand why our parents chose those godforsaken safe suburbs for us to feel stifled in! Peckham's worse than Lewisham, argh!

mootime, we aren't far, we are in Ladywell. I think it's pretty similar really. Hadn't thought of the east London line. There's also Greenwich for cinemas I guess. DH has been to Hayes this morning and declares that it and its environs (including Bromley) are places to go to die. Presumably voluntarily rather than as a result of violent crime. So that's out then.

mil we could work from home a bit, but commute would kill us I think, and not the kind of lifestyle we'd want, so we would really be looking for jobs where we lived or nearby.

betsey, that sounds scary, and I think more so than round here tbh. There have been shootings and stabbings here but not that nearby and seems always to be to do with gang stuff, so people who know each other. Still grim, but doesn't affect us too much iyswim (sounds horrible, doesn't it?). But, like you, I worry that when the DDs are older it might be more of a problem for them, just because teenagers clock other teenagers, hassle other teenagers etc. more than they do adults I think. It's relative anyway, isn't it? I sometimes think 'well it's better tha where we used to live' because so far no one's been glassed in the face on our road at 2pm, and you don't have to walk past 5 or 6 aggressive drunks to get home from the bus stop but that's not to say there aren't other worries!

We are near Crystal Palace, just been to Brittany and want to move there post holiday moving syndrome

Philbee, one was at school in Westminster, one near Crystal Palace. Ummm going out, stepson lives on Facebook and x box and not quite a social animal just yet, Daughter met friends from school, neither hung around round here as friends are scattered if you know what I mean, neither of them have ever just 'hung' anywhere but always had solid arrangements. My daughter is now an adult and is out all over London and has friends at Uni at Goldsmiths so is around the New Cross area a lot, but I don't spend sleepless nights worrying, she's sensible, it's a 24hr place etc...... Neither has ever come across any trouble, my daughter has to get late night buses home from work quite often, she says they are full of workers coming home, she has never felt threatened.

I think as teenagers growing up here they learn and know where's safe and how to get around safely if that makes sense. There's good taxi firms around as well if needed.

Philbee, the cinema in Greenwich is nice, and they both use the O2, lots of youngsters go there and wander, shopping in Lewisham is not great for teenagers, they prefer Covent Garden!

Philbee, Peckham is the new Hoxton!

I think it depends what is important to you.

DP grew up in East London and although he had a happy childhood he didn't have a lot of things which I consider a completely normal part of childhood.
i.e., no playing fields, no trips abroad with secondary school, wasn't allowed to go 'into town' by himself 'till relativly late, doesn't know anyone who went to brownies/scouts.
Also, there's very little variety of shops near where his parents live.

On the other hand he has friends from a much wider variety of cultures that I do.

Also, whenever anyone trots out 'there's nothing to do in the countryside for teenagers' I don't think it's really as bad as they make out - I have quite a few friends that came in from various villages to our school/sixth form. They just got the bus into town on a sat morning and went home on the last bus at 5ish. They could always sleep over at various friends houses if they wanted to go out to the cinema/bowling etc with everyone else in the eve. Inevitably, they were the first to save up and get old bangers at 17/18.

I live in London now (and live it!) but I grew up in a very rural area. Don't romanticise it too much, at my v. MC school deep in the country, giving blow jobs and doing an E in the toilets was pretty standard for a lunchtime

The feeling of being trapped and no where to go, living two miles from the nearest bus stop was really shit. Drinking and drug taking, having sex very young as there was nothing else to do.

I'm beginning to realise that one of the big advantages of living in London is that your children will probably be the only ones who can afford to attend a London university.

Personally I couldn't move too far away but I lived on the coast for 3 years and hated it. Losing your support network was the thing that knocked me for six though. If you think you can make friends easily then it might be easier. I am confident and friendly but struggled.

I was brought up in Croydon and loved it there. I now live in Warlingham Green which is a lovely little village in Surrey just outside of Croydon Borough. Good schools and the DC have access to Croydon when they are older (Westfield are building a centre there soon so a good place to hang out) and London is 25 mins by train. Best of both worlds :)

I can afford to live there and I would really love to move as I hate where I am living now in London. However, NOTHING excites me, there seems to be loads of options and choices in S England, I have not identified anywhere that is worth the hassle

I grew up near the coast.

I would choose London over the coast.

But why is it a hoise between those to things? Why not Hertford or Cambridge or Amersham?

Choice

youngbritish that does sound . I don't think we would go full on rural though, more like a town near the coast.

library just because if we were to move from London the coast is the only appeal really. For jobs we'd be best in Manchester / Leeds if not in London, but it just seems like more of the same. Would be lovely to see the sea regularly.

We moved from London to (very) rural countryside to raise our children. My conclusion (12 years in) is that countryside is perfect until they are in their teens and then - while they are safe to a point - their opportunities are limited and their social lives are more limited. I would love to move to the city for my teenaged children (but would need far more money than I have to live the life I'd want in a city )

it does depends on individual teenagers though, not everyone is sporty by nature, or into surfing as such, so they'd be bored being EVERY day by the sea. Esp girls, I'd say.

OP, how about Canterbury? not too far from London, but also a short trip to the sea, and the city has enough to offer both adults and dc.