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Horrid Kitchens - an Un-Property porn thread!

81 replies

FoofFighter · 06/06/2012 16:23

I will start off with this little gem

www.spcmoray.com/property.php?id=8984

It looks more like a sauna than a kitchen! I feel dizzy, those horizontals ew!

Show me something as bad or worse than this :)

(and apologies to the owner if you are reading this Blush )

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oreocrumbs · 06/06/2012 22:43

Ooh I like it! Potential alert! have to say the current kitchen is just beautiful Grin

Devora · 06/06/2012 23:19

I'd like to nominate my own kitchen. As it was when I moved in. I've whinged about it before on here, but these are the gruesome details: dark yellow walls and ceiling; scarlet woodwork; UPVC back door; stable-stylee split utility room door with curly wurly ironwork; dark red wall tiles across three walls; wood-effect melamime cupboards; curly wurly handles; stained glass effect insets into doors; orange (ok, terracotta) floor tiles; warped and leaking worktops; indescribable dirt.

I couldn't afford to replace so I just painted EVERYTHING. The tiles took SIX coats of paint; the units took four. The stained glass effect turned out to be sticky back plastic which just peeled off. The curly wurly handles were easy to replace. The floor I'm having to live with. For now. It's still not a thing of beauty, but pale and neutral and no longer screams in your face the minute you enter the room.

maxmillie · 06/06/2012 23:21

where is this Easington place? I might recommend it to my boss as a holiday destination ...

oreocrumbs · 06/06/2012 23:22

North east, near Peterlee, up from middlesbrough. Its on the coast Grin.

FoofFighter · 06/06/2012 23:45

The Gosforth one - the price of that, it's got to be a spiffing location to be that much!

particularly liking the silence of the lambs style fire grid!

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FoofFighter · 06/06/2012 23:52

compact!

My stepfather lived in these flats at the time he met my mother in the mid 70s. I can mind them being very smelly, very small and the paintwork outside was that horrible hospital blue

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DamselInDisgrace · 07/06/2012 20:12

I'm not convinced that the gosforth one is worth the money by a long shot. I have no idea what they were planning with the shower. They're clearly hoping that the postcode will attract a ridiculous premium, but you could get something with 4 bedrooms and a decent kitchen in gosforth for a lot less than you'd have to spend buying that one and making it inhabitable. For example, this in the same street.

Also in the NE3 interesting kitchen department we have: a kitchen for the very thin, a bit retro or gorgeous bathroom.

lifechanger · 07/06/2012 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GitAwfMayLend · 07/06/2012 22:02

lifechanger - that is a really strange house, it is like 3 different styles of decor in one house.

Damsel your links make me feel sad - all old fashioned houses but look to have been the pride and joy of the (evidently) old people who no longer live there.

DamselInDisgrace · 07/06/2012 22:20

They'll definitely be old people. The main problem with them is the prices to be honest. They're all priced like they don't need a lot of work/it's still 2007. Most of them are just very dated, and the kitchens tend to be too small or they have a pretty crappy extension done on the cheap so that it doesn't actually give you any more kitchen space at all. The kitchen in the Kenton house is really far too small to have all those units in there (and it's ridiculously tiny for a 5 bedroom house), and you'd think they'd have taken the magnets off the fridge before they took the photo.

In comparison, the new builds for sale round here seem to be competing for the MN award for the most dreadful 'feature' wallpaper and tat that could have come from pedlars in any one house. They almost invariably have venture-style photography of the whole family on display too. They'd be good for MN house decoration bingo actually...

DamselInDisgrace · 07/06/2012 22:23

Lifechanger: that is quite the most awful kitchen I've ever seen. And it doesn't have the excuse of being the original one that came with your 1950s house or just horribly dilapidated/grotty. Someone must have decided to spend quite a lot of money on utterly dreadful orange units and then thought, 'you know what would really make people's eyes bleed: bright blue paint in here'. Eurgh.

MrsJoeDuffy · 07/06/2012 22:25

That old bungalow in Dublin made me feel sad. It looked like an elderly bachelor might have lived there. Or the cast of Father Ted

GitAwfMayLend · 07/06/2012 22:28

That orange and blue kitchen is indeed awful.

It is a house for tiresome young trendies.

GitAwfMayLend · 07/06/2012 22:28

PE kit I meant.

claudedebussy · 07/06/2012 22:28

lifechanger - THAT IS THE ONE!!!!!!!!

claudedebussy · 07/06/2012 22:30

oh my eyes my eyes

phdlife · 07/06/2012 22:38

well I've just gone and looked but alas, I've no photos to share of our old place. But by comparison the one in the OP was luxurious.

Size: I'm 5'3" and I could cross it in 2 steps in all directions. For example, to go to the toilet, which was just through the only door.

Walls: that woodchip wallpaper, peeling under the weight of so many layers of paint, most recently a hideous gloss the colour of yoghurt or cream that's been left so long it's yellowed.

A single fluro strip above, 30yo cracked beige lino below.

A bar fridge, a little shitty cooker, a single sink. Plumbing and a gap for the washing machine, but a metal space in the gap that prevented the machine actually being shoved in there. Thus, washing machine sitting against the wall blocking off one under-sink cupboard and drainboard area.

A massive, 20yr old gas hot water heater in the other corner, which prevented the built-ins from, you know, going into the corner. Thus, worktop on one side, big corner-sized gap, cooker on the other side, cooker corner and worktop corner touching so you can't put anything in there except the bin (lifted in and out) but my wordy could that space collect dust, onion skin, spoons, dust, carrot tops, etc. And did I mention the dust?

And one time, when we went away so the landlord could renovate the bathroom (he put in that plastic flooring you get in buses, that went 6 inches up the walls - in sparkly salmon pink, to go with the green tile and the black sink surround), the landlord decided to 'upgrade' the kitchen as well. So we came home to find he'd attached a 1m square piece of brushed steel to the wall over the worktop. Pencil marks still in place; screws all round the edge of it clearly visible; one long hangnail where someone had started to cut the edge of the steel then realised it was going to be crooked and started again.

9 years.

GetDownNesbitt · 08/06/2012 10:21

Our house had a built in breadbin held to the wall by the bright red tiles in the kitchen. Which was orange pine. Good god, it was awful.

And so well fitted that it took me (at nearly 8 months pregnant), DH and a lump hammer about an hour to remove the whole thing: worktops, cupboards, carcasses and half the tiles. It was fun.

GitAwfMayLend · 08/06/2012 13:41

just look at the kitchen

This was posted on a thread yesterday, the most insane interior decoration.

GitAwfMayLend · 08/06/2012 13:41

Oppps wrong thread [blush)

FoofFighter · 08/06/2012 14:37

The "place that Ann Maurice came to die".. wtaf is with the dining room done out like a wedding venue??

The blue and orange kitchen - am I the only person who loves it? Blush Grin

The triffid house - they are very proud of their Shreddie-a-like chairs aren't they , 3 pics of them!

Tiny, I hope it's just a bad photograph angle

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FoofFighter · 08/06/2012 14:38

am I cheating by showing you this miniscule kitchen? Grin]

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