Expelled students being taken by our preferred independent option - cause for concern?

[678socks]

We are weighing up Oakham versus a grammar school for various reasons but I have read on here and also heard that it does seem to take children expelled for bullying at other schools/‘naughty children’ from other schools. Is that something I should worry about? The grammar won’t do this I suspect because it is massively oversubscribed so places rarely come up (child has a definite place here due to their 11+ score). Also any thoughts about Oakham for a very bright child would be much appreciated thanks. We would like the option of flexi boarding but not full boarding or even weekly at 11 so oundle and uppingham aren’t options. Thanks

IME public schools will take each others rejects.

luckily there are not many expelled each year And these matters tend to be kept quiet to protect the privacy of the child so you might not know if a child is joining your school who had been expelled for drinking. Drugs. Bullying or whatever.

I would expect there to be a private agreement between the school, pupil & their parents about expectations.

so I would not worry about it nor let it put you off your preferred school.

I think the point is, not all schools will accept children who have been expelled and less subscribed schools which have more spaces/need to fill will do so.

Everyone pays taxes and everyone should be entitled to the benefits of those taxes

Both nice and literate win-win

What has your intelligence got to do with the question?

Why would anyone think you went to an independent school because you were more intelligent? You went to an independent school because your parents could afford it. They bought their way out of many of the issues affecting state schools. (Although based on this thread it seems you can't buy your way out of the usual teenage behaviour bullshit. I've no doubt that there's just as much bullying going on in private schools as there is I. State ones.)

Don't you think that the fact that everyone in your profession went to a an independent school suggests that social mobility was not in fact an outcome of the system? Unless you all work at McDonalds, I guess... 🤔

I think you meant to quote another poster! Probably @FrauPaige

The comments in bold were made by that poster.

Everyone has free choice and a moral compose and doesn't have to take benefits equivalent to £300k knowing that in doing so a child from a less well off background may miss out on that grammar school place

You can probably draw some conclusions about any school you are considering (in terms of them being willing to take all comers, regardless of history such as removal from a previous school) from asking the following questions:

• What is the maximum number you can accommodate in each year group?
• How many students are currently in each year group?
• How has the number per year group changed over the last 5 years?
• How many students join at points other than at the start of the school?
• How many leave at points other than after GCSE / A-levels?
• Can you give me some examples of reasons why they have joined / left at these points?

If the school refuses to answer any of those questions, that also provided valuable information!

Schools can just lie though?

About the numbers in the year group? They’d be very unwise - the DfE has the number per year group taking exams on its school comparison website, and it would also be easy to spot in a school
tour if there were 30 kids not 60 in a tear group!

Is it easy to see it 5 years back though? Surely someone should just check this not bother asking the school if it is?

The number of pupils compared with the number of places is also freely available on a government website.

Ah I have found it. You can see capacity compared to school numbers on it.

Very interestinnngg

I would be looking at this the other way round. I would send your DS to grammar and if he does not like it, it sounds like he will most likely get a place there later anyway, but not the other way round.

@FrauPaige - do not take your private school/privilege guilt out on others! The OP can decide whatever is best for her DS. If he qualified for grammar, he qualified for grammar!
I have to say if I had worked hard as a child towards a goal and achieved it and then my parents did not honour it, I would have been really disappointed. So I guess it also depends on what the DS in question may want?

You don’t think it’s a big deal that a child is being bullied? Would you say the same if it was your child?

It wouldnt matter if it was my child. The bully still has the right to an education. Why shouldn't that be at a private school?

It shouldn’t be at any school, I didn’t mention private or state.

So bullying means a child should lose their human right to an education? From what age?

From any age, the bullies have the option to change their behaviour. What about the rights of the children being bullied? Anyway, I’m not going to derail the thread further by responding again.

This is a public forum. I think you would agree that people will share their views!

You call it guilt, I call it civic duty. Resources are tight in the public sector. If you don't need it, why take it? is kinda where I am coming from.

There are people that are pulling their hair out at the moment waiting for 11+ results knowing that the alternative is dire. They could just about afford a family house in a catchment area for a good grammar, and had to stretch for tutoring. And then us mob swan in with kids at independent schools that have had tiny class sizes and loads of advantages powering whopper qualifying scores and snap up the places.

OP wants flexi boarding options. There are state boarding grammars she could consider but why bother when there are so many independent school options that suit her so well.

I am sure she will make the right choice.

You’re just so bitter. Deeply unattractive. But go ahead, it clearly makes you happy.

I went to Oakham and then Oxford albeit a million years ago. It is a fantastic school. I am still closely affiliated as well. It doesn’t set out to be academic but to produce well- rounded people. If the grammar is Kings Grantham then their academic results are very mixed. I know of someone who did GCSEs there a couple of years ago and barely scraped a pass.

if those two are the options then you must live somewhere near where I grew up in the vale of Belvoir.

I didn’t read it like that. I read it that OP is undecided whether a grammar school for her very bright but slightly anxious DS is going to be better, or a far less academically selective independent school, with the option to board.
The concept of sending a slightly anxious child to board may also be a concern. I can only comment from our experience and that of my wider family and friends which is that some of the children with that profile have been far happier at grammar school. However, it depends on the exact school in question, of course. Peer group is really important for certain types of children, more important that teaching and pastoral support on top of that. And that is difficult to work out.