What are the main reasons for choosing a private school?

[beelegal]

My sister-in-law and I were chatting over tea this afternoon about private schools for my nephew, who’s coming up to secondary age.
She’s been to a few open days earlier this year and was particularly taken with one school nearby. However, during the headteacher’s speech, he said: “The teaching is the same in all schools — what we offer is more outside the classroom.”He then went on to highlight the school’s pastoral care, facilities, and wide range of sports and activities.

Perhaps we’re being a little naïve, but we’d always assumed the teaching itself would be better in a private school. For example, my daughter once had Maths taught by a PE teacher at her state school. We thought that in the independent sector you’d have subject specialists — a highly qualified Maths teacher for Maths, for instance.

We also imagined class sizes would be much smaller, with more opportunities for a child who isn’t particularly sporty but enjoys academic study. Yet the average class size was around 25, which isn’t especially small.

Pastoral care is so vague that schools all seem to determine themselves if theirs is good. All the private schools claim excellence.

So it does raise the question: if the teaching really is no different, why not choose a state school and simply join a local hockey or swimming club at the weekend — which would be far more affordable?

Given fees of around £25,000 a year, what are the real advantages of private education, and what justifies that cost?

I did year 9 private as my parents couldn't find an alternative school to escape awful bullying. Education was no better (the grammar I did 6th form at was far superior). Not sure if it's cos it was an international school so meant more of the class was spent teaching English than the subject. Small class sizes most were 7-12 people (German was only 3 of us, me and 2x native German kids so again less easy for me to learn). I left after a Yr as worried about parental redundancy mid gcse. I wouldn't really advocate for it tbh. Much longer hours to accommodate long holidays for kids to go home

I bet if we had this conversation face to face, we’d learn a lot from each other’s experiences. I’d genuinely be fascinated to know.

Having it on MN is making you seem defensive and I’m sure is making me seem cynical/judgmental.

Hopefully OP has learned what they needed to learn from the responses.

Just to say I was educated privately, and I never made any such contacts to help me gain employment, or meet a rich lord! I got my first job eventually after going for lots of interviews, getting nowhere, and then in one interview being asked about salary expectations and setting it very very low to get my foot in the door. Met my husband via a University friend.

The extra curricular was outstanding, small class sizes, but still bullying and poor teachers.

Me and my cousins are a mix of private and state, the one who earns by far and away the most money was state educated.

Do you know what all of your DC's friends parents do?
None of them has a job at all I suppose?

One of our friends'kids got a job at weekends because their dad who does bin collections knew someone who needed cash in hand over the summer...

I accompanied ds’s state primary recorder group to a music festival at a secondary private school locally. Walking past the corridor of recording studios and going into the 3rd rehearsal room, to find myself sitting next to the scores for the school’s second orchestra, is the kind of thing that nearly made me decide to try for a bursary.

There’s a state school in the town over near me which has one of the lowest pass rates for GCSE. The teachers are some of the top though. The issue is their home lives, aspirations and behaviour. The school is in special measures as a result.

Having an echo chamber for similar ambitions is far more helpful for success than anything

I would think the headteacher is right. You don’t even need to be qualified to teach in a private school. You do in state schools (in Wales anyway, not sure on England).

however, there will be smaller classes and more extra curricular in a lot of private schools compared to state schools. Mine go to state schools but DS friend moved to a private school because he is good at sport and there wasn’t enough sport on offer at the state school

No, in state academies in England you don't have to be a qualified teacher.
The other factor is: many teachers in state schools aren't teaching their own subject due to teacher retention and recruitment crisis. So you are more likely to get subject specialists in an independent school
None of the teachers at DDs independent school are unqualified plus all have BA/BSc as minimum in the subject they teach, many have MAs/MSc and some have PhDs.

I didn’t use private education-but the thing I was most jealous of my friends that did was that they dropped their kids off at 8.30ish and picked them up at 6.00ish and they had done all their sports practice/music/choir/extra curriculars and in one case homework! While I had spent the after school time driving them like a lunatic from place to place with one of them probably having forgotten a vital piece of kit.

DD teaches GCSE/A level at a private school. She says it is lovely having 7 to 15 in each class. But the biggest difference is

she turns up and teaches her subject, engaging with the children, all lesson, every lesson.

In state schools, she turned up and spent 20 to 70 % of lesson time on behaviour management, on lesson catch up... herding cats as she said.

And the biggest difference in behaviour is because - controversial, I'm afraid - in private school, you behave or you leave.

The kids thank her at the end of every lesson (she's still getting used to that!). Politeness and good behaviour is simply expected.

Coming from a State background, we chose a prep school for the immersion our child had in music (chance to play in a band/orchestra, afternoon concerts & competitions) as well as specialist teaching in some of the other foundation subjects. As an ex-teacher, frankly the teaching in the core subjects was very varied, just as you might find in State, and worse for some of the time because a private school is not held to the same accountability.

The other reason was that over the years as a State teacher I had seen how some very troubling behaviour from just one or two children could traumatise other children not to mention totally wreak havoc on a class and I did not want this for DC.

But for many people they choose private because that is their background and they seem barely aware that State schools exist.

In Senior School the demographic has widened hugely and with that has come a much wider range of reasons for people choosing private.

In state schools, she turned up and spent 20 to 70 % of lesson time on behaviour management, on lesson catch up... herding cats as she said.

Yes I can imagine. As we saw in the recent drama Adolescence- the detective described the school as more of ‘a holding pen’ than a place of education.

Yes it was a fictional drama - but that school was much like the comprehensive school I went to (minus phones and knives). So no - I was never going to send my children to a state school like that (if I could afford not to).

Also-a PhD does not a good teacher make….

When they’re little, the longer days and wrap around care is very convenient. Then, from what I’ve seen with friends, it’s hard to swap to state.

The smaller classes are appealing, but some private schools are too small to field competitive sports teams so that’s another thing to consider.

The families being fully supporting of education, and the school is a big difference as is the zero tolerance to misbehaviour. However, that can be a problem with teens being teens and experimenting with different things. One of my friend’s DS was caught smoking in school grounds and immediately expelled. No coming back and very little discussion. That seemed overly harsh to me and caused them huge problems trying to find another school that would accept him and could offer the same GCSEs (private schools around here tend to use different exam boards to state schools). So some of the perceived positives can turn into a huge negative.

For my DC:

Smaller class sizes
Higher standard of behaviour than local state schools
Better SEN support
Specialist music school which had exceptional music teachers experienced in developing young talent
Highest quality performing arts provision
Ability and willingness to cater to the needs of the individual (e.g reduced number of subjects at GCSE)
Incredible pastoral support

Most private schools teach International GCSEs so not the same exams at that level
They are also more likely to teach a wider variety of subjects all up to A level
eg
Classics
Music
Photography
Drama ( I understand some state schools have stopped drama)
Latin and
a wide variety of languages ours did German, French, Russian, Mandarin and Spanish.

It’s one of the reasons we went private

Well done, you hit the nail on the head.
I could have spent £200k to feel superior in another way but sending my DC Private seemed easier.

OR you have no idea what you are talking about

No
but if they’re not good they go.

SEN. Most of us in my friendship group with kids in private have SEN and didn't cope well in state school. Small class sizes are a big factor.

All of this is offered at our local state. All
of it.

Private schools sometimes offer these things and sometimes state does. It only comes down to the local school.

i think the point is we shouldn’t generalise nor should we assume that onky private schools only have these things. As an example our local all girls state school gets much better grades than the local private schools and grammar.

Exactly. I know someone who figures they spent about half a million of their kids education and while they were really bright and did well they both ended up doing ‘average’ degrees and have normal jobs - sports physio for example. She now feels it was a colossal waste of money.

Surely it’s obvious that in those posters areas it is the case, though?

Very much so.

DD's head of department was talking with her cohort of new staff (over their regular staff drinks at, but after school, on Friday - different world!) and said teachers there fit into 2 types... stay for decades or leave by their second year, most of the early leavers are asked to leave at their 6 month review.

So staff at her school kind of need to hit the ground running.

Paying for kids to be taught with other kids who actually want to learn and value education. The disruption in state school classes was beyond ridiculous. Source - I’m an ex teacher.

It’s only a waste of money if you equate education with a certain kind of job. Of course, some parents will make it very clear to their children which jobs are deemed acceptable. But many don’t and as a parent you need to accept that your money may not result in a high-paying, non-average job.

(It’s a massive shame that it’s a privilege to not have to equate education with certain jobs on earning levels. All children should get a good education regardless of whether they end up being a lawyer or a plasterer. A good education has a value in and of itself. Or it should do!)