Will a bright child do well at any private school

[Bringonsprim36]

I’m having a dilemma and would be grateful for help. On paper I have a bright child CAT 130 SS125-141. However I’m beginning to not think that ‘hot house’ super selective school would be the right place for them. They are quiet and in actual fact I want them to grow in confidence. I can’t help therefore think that a more well rounded school which values more than just academic results would be a good environment for them.

i want their schooling to of course deliver results but also for them to look back with fond memories and I worry on the pressure. I looked at the recent GCSE/A level results and there is 35% between the them for A/A*.

anyone have experienced of picking a limited selected school/all rounding with a bright child and then still getting good results? A friend thinks I’d be letting my child down not to push them as hard as I can and they should mean putting them into a selective school

appreciate your thoughts

My youngest (bright, cats etc around 130) is at the same school his autistic brother used to be (oldest has moved to a special school now).
School is a caring ethos/well rounded school. So far its amazing- they really stretch and support him.
He doesn’t get pushed as he would be at a selective school - he gets supported and challenged, and i think is doing much better, and is much happier for it.

Why don't you just visit a selection of schools with them and see where they'd like to go.

Each school is different so hard to generalise but I can speak from my experience.
DD 13 is going into Yr 9 in a non-selective independent school. Got GD in all SATS from state primary and loves learning etc. She is also prone to sitting back and because she has excellent behaviour in class, we found that in her state primary school she was sometimes overlooked and used as a form of behaviour control over other less well behaved kids.
So when deciding on secondary it was a no-brainer for us to choose independent: smaller class sizes, great pastoral etc and they focus on producing well rounded children rather than hot housing.
She is absolutely flying, top sets in everything and has won an academic scholarship for Yrs 9-11.
I don't believe this would have happened in our local state (which is dire anyway) but going to independent has given her the freedom to be academic, explore a much wider range of subjects.

Being happy at schoo without bullying/disruptive behaviour in lessons has encouraged her to do well. The teachers really get to know the pupils so can differentiate effectively to stretch and challenge the high flyers. It's simply not always possible to do that in classes of 30+.

As she's now a scholar she will get additional input, extra academic lessons etc which we hope will push her even more.

So my point is: children who are happy at school will do better anyway than those who are unhappy at school.

We've got one DD at a hot house type school and it really suits her. Our other DD is as bright, but we don't think it is the right environment for her, so have picked a smaller, less selective school for her. It is still selective, so she should get a peer group of similarly able children, but I think it will be calmer and more supportive.

Looking at their gcse results, the hot house gets twice as many 9s as the other school. That's fine as my DD will have access to teaching that could potentially get her a 9, if that's what she should be achieving. I was wary of some other schools that had much lower grades as they might not be taught well enough for anyone to access top grades.

We are at a nonselective indie that is very focused on pastoral care and providing a well rounded experience. On average our exam scores are in line with average for nonselective indies (so better than state but not as impressive as selectives). But within that wider distribution of results we have a number with exceptional scores and a handful every year going to Oxbridge. Clearly the school can and does cater to the more academic high achievers.

on the flip side, not everyone who goes hot house gets top scores - it isn’t a guarantee of academic success. At the end of the day, what the school achieves on average is less relevant than what they will do to support your specific, individual child.

The whole point of independent schooling is that you can choose the best school for your child. )Which, if selective, will involve the school also choosing your child.

And no, of course it cannot be guaranteed that any independent school will be ideal for any child. Some might be a disaster.

I do worry about adverse effects to a young persons mental health in high pressure selective schools.
Family chose a school that comes in top 75 vs top 10. The goal is a happy child, good experience and decent grades.

Dd was slightly higher on CATs but every school will do an entry test to set, or refuse access. Initially I went on which schools ranked higher than the local ones - after all if you are paying you want to get £ worth and we have grammars but not hugely high ranking ones. The first school was not a good fit however, mostly because they were not at all selective. In turn this meant they didn't set until y9. Which in turn meant that kids who could do basic algebra in Y7 were stuck in with people who struggled to add and do times tables. The social impact was the "cool" kids who didn't like school bullied the cleverer ones who did and a lot of issues arose around school refusing, eating disorders...you name it. I moved her to a sightly more selective school and she has flown ever since.

That is our experience anyway - it seems to me that the cleverer the kid the better they do in a tiered setting, away from kids who disrupt - although my dd would have hated the competitive aspect of a grammar, so not somewhere like WA for us!

@6thformoptions i was going to use the same wa example. the gal in question had the grades but maybe not the personality. chose a school similar to benenden.

Yes, we decided against grammar because it attracts those types, which doesn't work socially for dd.

There's a huge range of private schools ranked 50-150 that would probably be perfectly fine for any mid to high achieving kid. The first we tried was somewhere around 200's (bit lower) and her current is around 90's, which seems to make a big difference in attitude. I do think there's a sweet spot for kids who like support, a calm environment but aren't hyper academic or keen to compete.

Ahhh thank you all for your responses. That’s a great point on when they put them into sets for ability. We are looking to move also so ideally we move and put them into the local independent school.

No, I don’t think bright children do well anywhere. I mean they won’t flunk, but that is entirely different than thriving and reaching their maximum potential.

If you think your child will become his best self in a school that emphasizes the whole person instead of just strict academics, then you may very well be correct. He may do better not just as a person, but academically in such an environment.

you should talk to him though. The last thing you want is a bright child who is resentful that you denied them the chance to have the type of school they thought was best for themselves.

There are lots of schools that are solidly academic and push bright kids pretty hard without being hot houses. Very intense academic environments don’t suit some kids however bright.

You need to find the right school, your friend is wrong to generalise.

It’s a common misconception that less hot house, less high performing schools can’t meet the needs of very academic children or that they will be the only ones in the school.

We turned down one of the “top flight” north London academic schools for DD and opted for one others see only as a “backup” (an awful phrase and one I don’t agree with). People told us we were mad.

DD said that’s where she felt at home, you could see it ignited a spark in her and it met her creative needs which we felt were somewhat lacking at other schools.

She has thrived being towards the top of the year academically as opposed to soundly in the middle elsewhere. There’s a group of about a third of the year who are seen as “academic”. They challenge each other and importantly want success for themselves as opposed to spoon fed grade chasing.

It’s also worked out well for Oxbridge support - only a handful apply each year as it has been very bespoke and given individual attention. Whilst the more academic schools have great Oxbridge support programmes, you are one of many being prepared.

Choosing a less academic, creative school was the BEST decision.

Our son was bright but I was really worried about putting him in an academically selective school, particularly after seeing a friends child got totally burned out in a very academically selective school and they were miserable. We sent our son to the most brilliant non selective independent school where they had lots of fun, it built his confidence, he did amazingly well in his GCSE's and then went to a sixth form that was academically selective and is now thriving. At the time our friends told us we were mad!!! Just make sure that some of the children get top grades in a non selective school and then you know that the teachers are great. The same environment he is doing A Levels in I think could have been a disaster at 11! Go with your gut when looking at schools and make sure that you do taster days so that your child feels comfortable. If a school inspires a love of learning that is the most important thing to me.

Im glad this thread was made.

So so untrue. Bright children won't do well everywhere. And they don't be fulfilled everywhere.

I would go with your gut but it normally helps to be around your tribe.

For every story of “My bright child thrived at a non-selective school”, there are others with very different outcomes. A family member, for example, did disastrously and I know their parents deeply regret the decision and felt hoodwinked by te admission, and I know of other clever pupils elsewhere who grew bored, switched off, and started messing around. And what does “doing well” even mean? For some families, it’s getting into UCL; for others, it’s Harvard. You can’t measure success against opportunities you never had. The truth is, children who are easily swayed will drift if the environment allows it. From my own experience at a mildly selective school with a strong culture of hard work, I can say with certainty: your tribe shapes your vibe.

Which is why it's so important to find the right school to best match your child.

<3 “your tribe shapes your vibe”.
teens are so influenced by their peers and when starting a new school that’s a big unknown most of the time.

Again, from our experience, don't be afraid to move them before Y9 if they are unhappy. It is a bit daunting but remember you have to give a term's notice and plan well if it isn't the right fit.

It is tricky to know and one of the limiting factors; even moving boarding houses within schools could alter the trajectory.

I think you can get a good idea from here, visiting and meeting people from them on the vibe. It was clear to me the vibe when we were choosing and we weren't wrong.

A bright child will do well wherever they are happy and well taught. If they are happy in a less selective school their results will be fine. School attainment differences chiefly reflects entry selection. If you have a school with an anti-learning culture that's a different matter, but I don't think you are suggesting this. Even non-selective schools will have academic high-flyers to offer challenge, competition and stimulus, and it's easier to be noticed and celebrated for academic achievement.

We pulled DS out of admissions for a famously highly selective school in favour of one which is barely selective at all. Four years on he is Head of School with 12x9 at GCSE but also a wide - ranging friendship group, enjoying music, sport and drama which are all extracurricular and done for fun alongside the more cerebral activity.

You know your child best so follow your instinct, not other people's expectations.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It’s really helpful and the comment in ‘they felt like home’ resonated with me.

i was just comparing results and its roughly 80% of top flight marks (A/A*) to 40% for the none selective one. To the individual that said, ‘make sure they can produce good results’ I guess they can.

I love the point on the tribe also.

We chose the less selective school for DD, we felt that as long as the school could work with a range of abilities she should be fine (high Cats score, dyslexic so it wasn’t necessarily clear how things would go at age 11).

She just got 9x9 and 1x8 at GCSE so she is in their top 10 students but the range is greater than selective schools. They still taught her well and enabled her to achieve her potential.

I would want to be sure that the school do get good grades for their able pupils but I wouldn’t try to compare apples and pears at the overall level.

Best of luck.

Totally agree – for those who are super bright it mostly works out (though I have a family member who began messing around in a less academic school, so you do need to know your child and judge whether that’s a risk).
I think the bigger difference is often for the more “middling” pupils, if I can put it that way – the ones who could come out with AAA or CCC depending on environment (that's not just academic outcome, but also a total change in their energy and psyche. I think 13-18 is such a maleable age). Some really benefit from being swept along by a diligent peer group, while others find that atmosphere too much. Equally, a child who could be inspired in the right setting may end up disengaging – not revising properly or not throwing themselves into lessons in the way they might have done elsewhere.
It’s very difficult, and as always there isn’t really a hard and fast rule. Good luck, hope the thread posts above have helped OP.