Will a bright child do well at any private school

[Bringonsprim36]

I’m having a dilemma and would be grateful for help. On paper I have a bright child CAT 130 SS125-141. However I’m beginning to not think that ‘hot house’ super selective school would be the right place for them. They are quiet and in actual fact I want them to grow in confidence. I can’t help therefore think that a more well rounded school which values more than just academic results would be a good environment for them.

i want their schooling to of course deliver results but also for them to look back with fond memories and I worry on the pressure. I looked at the recent GCSE/A level results and there is 35% between the them for A/A*.

anyone have experienced of picking a limited selected school/all rounding with a bright child and then still getting good results? A friend thinks I’d be letting my child down not to push them as hard as I can and they should mean putting them into a selective school

appreciate your thoughts

I’ve been looking at a range of private secondary schools and I’m lucky that near me there is a genuine range. I’ve ruled out the least selective- some children do amazingly well there but I didn’t really like it for mine. I think I’m happiest with the academically selective but not absolute top tier. I might still apply for the most selective but am nervous due to how good the results are. Once you’re at 70% grade 9 at gcse, anything else than that is going to feel like a failure. So there is ‘selective’ and selective’. I think my child would do better in an academic but less perfect environment.

I don’t think so. DD was at a less selective private school and whilst she did well she would have almost certainly got better grades at a more selective school. She simply didn’t have enough of a peer group to challenge her. She was the “best” in the class in most subjects so didn’t get pushed further

having said that, we didn’t choose the school for exam results, as someone with Autism and ADHD she needed somewhere with outstanding pastoral care where her mental health would be supported and we got that in spades. The pay off was that she didnt meet her academic potential. I should point out she still did well and is at a RG uni doing a tough course so it doesn’t matter but that’s the reality

My concern. Have seen this. Have had friends leave prep school and we all go off in different directions at 13, then come across later and you can see how the schools shaped them. Such a shame too as more than one really regretted not working harder and felt they could. Has left more doors closed than they wanted to.

Not sure that's about levels of selection, though, more about value-added. A less selective school can still focus on ensuring all pupils reach their potental, for example through high potential programmes, academic tutors, academic enrichment etc. It can't all be about the peer group.

I wouldn't suggest that a school that has no academic ambitions will be right for highly academic pupils, but rather that a less selective school with excellent teaching and positive culture will serve bright children as well as their more selective alternatives.

I agree that the key is to find the school that best suits the child.

I disagree with the suggestion that the most academic schools cannot produce well-rounded pupils.

The school my children attended is usually in the top 10 for A level results. It also has excellent pastoral care and outstanding music, drama and sport.

This is what I did. Organised for DS to have taster days at a variety of schools. Then I went to the parents days, and talked to other parents. Then DS & I each rated the schools, and we agreed on the first and second choices.

Ds went to our first choice school. Six years on he's happy confident, 10 good GCSEs, studying 3 stem A'levels.

A happy child will always out perform an unhappy child. You need to look at the bigger picture and select a school that suits them. My eldest is extremely bright and academic but also a very sensitive soul so an academic hothouse would have been the wrong choice for her.

I think you might be slightly falling for the excellent results means the school is a ‘hot house’. It doesn’t it just means it has picked the kids who thrive in that particular environment.

Mine went to a school that gets excellent results and parents with children at other schools have described it as a hot house. But it really wasn’t. The kids were well taught and I guess worked hard in the school day, but didn’t have hours of homework (less than many of these other schools) and if you asked them what they remembered most from school it would be the music and drama, the sport and the outdoor education. They are all well rounded people I think.

They and all their peers were just naturally bright and curious. Being a bit of a nerd was seen as cool. We actually picked the school because ds1 was bullied at his primary for being bright. We wanted him somewhere where he didn’t stand out and was just average and that worked and he thrived and got excellent results but also leads in school plays and sports awards (for team spirit not exceptional talent) but he had lots of opportunities.

I have always suspected that some of the parents who said they rejected the school because it was a hot house didn’t want to admit the children might not pass the entrance test so simply didn’t try. So long as you and your child won’t be devastated by a rejection I would sit the entrance exam and really look around and get a feel for the school. If they pass, you can still turn it down because you don’t think the fit is right. If they are bright they could well thrive in this school. The difference between my tiny bullied boy starting in year 7 and the confident young man who left to study at Oxford was incredible - still quite short though!

I don't think anyone is suggesting that bright children should steer clear of highly selective schools, or that every academic powerhouse is an unhealthy hothousr. The question is whether a bright child needs a selective school or could do equally well in a less academic setting. It looks to me from reported experiences upthread that the answer is that they can indeed, if they are well taught and supported by the school, have a peer group that includes some clever and motivated classmates, and (crucially) they are happy. Neither route is guaranteed to work for every child- parents need to discern what is best for their child and their circumstances.

@Blastosis1 I agree with this. I guess the question might go the other way and ask what prevents a child from doing well (or specifically your child). And avoiding this.

We had a good local knowledge of the two schools we were comparing and advice from the Prep school. I think the advice to visit and maybe try it out might be helpful.

Thank you all. I love that point on a happy child will always outperform an unhappy child. A fair challenge also on highly selective schools being able to produce well rounded children.

Not all schools are as highly selective as they appear and not all of the ones with good results are hot houses.

Totally agree — there’s definitely a sliding scale when it comes to selectivity. Oundle and Westminster are both selective, but Westminster is on a whole different level. I think a lot of people hear the word ‘selective’ and instantly picture some kind of hothouse nightmare, which really isn’t the case.

Bright kids will do well where they are happy and feel welcome, valued and supported. Trust your instincts!