Would you even consider private?

[Amberkitten7654321]

We have 3 kids (currently year 3, 1 and pre school).

Joint salary is circa £150k, maybe up to £175 with bonuses although not guaranteed.

considering secondary schools. Our local comp just goes to 16 and is very very average. An average excellent state 6th form however in a nearby city which we’d be very happy with.

we have a nice house worth circa £950k with a very low mortgage due to some remarkable luck buying and selling in London just at the time the prices went nuts.

we could move and downsize and release circa £200k. Have about another £100k odd saved in the bank. Obviously costs of moving to be considered.

would you:
a) suck up the 5 years at average secondary knowing there was a very good 6th form to follow.

b) do 5 years of independent school each and then do state 6th form.

c) move and downsize to be in grammar school catchment and hope at least 2/3 get in, and then the 3rd could do independent?

d) move without downsizing to an area with better state secondaries - even though all the cost and upheaval and leaving of friends that goes with that.

my husband and I both went to private schools (me just for secondary) and really loved our experience. And we just don’t have experience of state secondaries. I don’t know how much “better” one can be than another to justify spending £30k moving and leaving all their friends behind?

the sums seem very very slightly do-able for independent for 5 years but toght and all I read is that if it’s tight don’t even consider it.

I don’t know whether I’d regret moving and starting over or not giving my kids the best opportunity o could…

As an ex teacher in the state sector, use the money and go private. The general standard in state secondaries is shocking.

Go private. You both went to privat4e schools (as did I and then our children). It is worth it.

No need to feel guilty, as prices of private schools nowadays increased a lot more than wages increase. You are doing great!
I would avoid different kids go to different systems. You don’t want sibling resentment over it. Perhaps private then state 6th form? Good for university application.

Compared to what??

It’s quite mad to think that state-funded secondary education in this country is so bad that it’s to be avoided at all costs.

It’s where 93 in every 100 children go.

In most places state funded secondary education will be middling to excellent, and it will have the advantage of being free, mixed socioeconomically, and of potentially qualifying your child for contextual offers depending on where you live.

Can you please tell me the last time you stepped inside your average state secondary?

The standard is shocking compared with ten years ago and compared with an independent school. Did you see adolescence? Scary but spot on. Most state schools cannot recruit teachers. You’ll see GCSE biology taught by a sports teacher cos it’s all the school can do. The teaching retention crisis has hit schools hard, added to funding cuts and an explosion in SEND and your average well behaved child won’t get a look in. Wake up.

Just to counter most opinions. We earn slightly more. Started at private. Moved to state (and house too). Private could not and would not help with SEN. If you suspect any SEN choose the school carefully. Alot will cater to Asd high achievers but will be less good with anything else. State provision was loads better and we did not even realise this until we moved them. With all the increases (and projecting to the future) cost would be a factor. Moved to an area with grammar. They are unlikely to get in but that's ok - state provision is reasonable and we can afford extra tutors now. If it goes wrong the relief of a few years not paying means we can send to one of several specialist private dyslexia schools locally. You mention both of you went private. This will skew your opinion. My partner thought private would be better because of his experience. Ironically I went to state in a dodgy area. All of my friends have down waaaay better academically. Multiple masters and PhDs. His however have the bullshit factor.

Tutoring in core subjects such as maths, science and English could be an alternative option. Use that money for plenty of after school or holiday clubs.

This plus being in a nice home and financially stable is providing your kids with a good education and upbringing.

@Thetapisdripping I don’t need to wake up, thanks. I’ve got two children currently in state secondary schools who are thriving and also visit a lot of state secondaries for other reasons.
Yes, there is a recruitment and retention crisis, but it’s not helpful to scaremonger about state funded schools being on the verge of collapse.

I’m not scaremongering!!! I’m glad your children are thriving, genuinely but many many are! Up until a year ago I was in one daily. And YES a huge amount of schools ARE on the verge of collapse; schools cannot recruit teachers, SEND places are non existent, funding per pupil is at rock bottom levels, the fabric of many buildings are crumbling. There is absolutely a crisis in state educaton. Just look at the NEUs campaigns or think about why teachers will be striking again over the next academic year. They cannot afford to pay the teachers the government mandated uplift. If that is the case, what does it tell you about the flex in the budget? Just because a school tells you all is rosy, doesn’t make it so. Panicking parents means withdrawals from school which means even less funding. Visitors do not see the whole picture. This may not be applicable at your school but state education is in crisis. I don’t know many educators who would disagree on this….

😳

Always get specific local information. One of my dc has sen, is not academic and has had excellent private support - it really depends what your particular issues are and what the local options are.

I’m sure it’s generally true that schools are better with intelligent ASD kids (I have one of those too) but that’s true for both state and private…

It’s simply untrue to say that adolescence is representative of the schools 93% of secondary school pupils attend.

The OP is apprehensive of the sector simply because she hasn’t had experience of it. Her own experience at state primary and her dcs experience have been positive - why should secondary be any different? Nowhere is perfect of course & without knowing the DC and the schools involved it’s impossible to judge. Anecdotally, I know DC who have been bullied & had an eating disorder at grammar schools - does this mean we should say conclude that grammar schools fail children? There are private schools in crisis too over the same or different pressures, should they be painted as perfect places?

@Amberkitten7654321 1) you will get more people saying go private on this post simply by virtue of it being in the private schools thread which is followed by more private school parents.
2) whatever you do for your DC you will question whether it is the right / best decision for them and you as a family. If they have a Mum who loves them, who wants the best for them, who provides a secure loving home for them and supports them in different ways educationally they are already winning!
3) I agree holidays are some of the best family times. Like a pp said prices hike up considerably once they get older, try searching for a holiday and change the ages of your DC to teens and you will see the difference!