Private School and Toxic posters…

[JustBecauseIcanComment]

….just curious why such toxic posts and posters? I’ve never seen so many vile posts - private school parents are elitist , all state school parents are envious, labour is evil, tories are evil etc. etc. All very sad 😞

Id also say intellectual merit is one part of school, not the whole picture

A lot of very jealous people out there....

Personally we've done a mix of state and private depending on what's suited our kids at the time. Pro's and cons to both. Being able to afford to move to a better catchment effectively buys you a place in a better school, so not that different to paying for private school really. But lots of people just dislike it when others are richer than they are and that is the basis of the issue.

Because private schools are inextricably linked to the class system which has riven English society for the past approximately 1000 years.

Some people are chippy about private schools, particularly as it involves dcs. They don't like what they perceive as someone else's children get a leg up on life compared to theirs.

Sometimes it is not even money. There are state school parents simply choose to spend on their expensive houses within catchment or lush holidays. But woe betide someone else spends their money on their dcs' education. It is not fair.

What has surprised me over the last few years is that I have found myself justifying why by DC moved from an outstanding state to private….why is it such a crime that because we have worked hard, had saved for a rainy day and decided to give our DC an opportunity to play sports at a high level at private school somehow our family and friends accuse subtly that we think we are better than others….then people wondered why we didn’t tell anyone of our decision until 3 months before the new school year when they moved school….because of the judgement I knew we would / did receive from some. But what I don’t get and as everyone says on this thread ….it’s ok that we moved house when our DC was 12 months old to get them into the outstanding school catchment for both primary and secondary like everybody does but sending private means I’ve sold my morality! The reality is we simply wanted our DC to be happy children and to achieve that meant looking for alternate education provision that catered for their interests that their state school didn’t cater for.

There is something deeply immoral about buying privilege for your children. Summed up by the pp who said “Because we are sworn at, attacked etc just for wanting to do the best for our own kids.” Like parents whose bank balance doesn’t extend to private school don’t want the best for their children. What an insidiously vile statement.

You can call people jealous, you may even be right, but don’t diminish the levels of snob factor and imperiousness in these private school threads. I think it’s crucial for many of you to be reminded that a) not all state school children are feral thugs, and b) your money doesn’t make you superior human beings.

Where has anyone said all children at state are feral thugs? My DCs went to state for 9 years and never in that time did I consider their friends thugs either then or now. I started this thread asking why people on the Private Schools thread think they can post such vile things to each other. Why are you on this thread other than to stoke the fires of vileness….you obviously are angry but why….aren’t you happy eith your DCs school, are they called thugs….why so angry??? By the way if you moved house to get into a specific state school then you did exactly what you said is immoral….you bought them privilege and advantage….so please don’t be a hypocrite.

It's not really buying privilege it's just about giving your child the best opportunities wherever you see fit.....don't we all want that for our kids? Just because some people can't afford it/don't agree with it, it doesn't mean that those who can afford it should penalise their children. Should your child not be allowed designer trainers because your friend can't afford them? Should your child be not go on the school trip abroad because another parent can't afford it? Should you not get your child a maths tutor to help with maths? That's paying for privilege too! It's just life....

Of course state school kids are not feral thugs. Of course having money does not make you a superior human!

I have one in state and one in private at the moment. The one in private is no more refined and both like school equally!

So it’s just the private schools in England you have a problem with? The ones in other countries are ok?

Why would you expect people to be polite about something that furthers social inequality?

I don’t disagree with you however I would say that the British have a very peculiar relationship with class and money….why would we rather run someone down for working hard, making a life for themselves, having choices because of their success than celebrate their success ….not the good old brits we just perpetuate the class divide by accusing people of being above their station because they have the resources to give their DC choices - we live in a capital country - feudal Britain doesn’t exist!

Correct. We should all be calling out people buying houses in the right catchment areas and buying their way into the local school. Well said!

Because we don't live in a communist society....

"There is something deeply immoral about buying privilege for your children."

So your kids don't go on holiday, have books to read, engaged parents etc? Because if they do then you are buying privilege for them.All parents buy some form of privilege for their kids if they xan afford yet noone judges parents for taking their kids on 3 holidays per year if they can afford it.

FYI the Sutton Trust says that top state schools in the country confer same (and sometimes more) privilege than independent schools because of their cohort.

It’s hilarious the way this is the regular comeback. As if it’s some kind of gotcha.

Seriously? That’s what you come back with?

No, it's hypocrisy. Typical socialist crap with virtue signalling of using state schools whilst paying for tutors and being in catchment of best state schools all whilst sneering at parents who use independent schools.
Yes Starmer I'm looking at you!

It's not a gotcha- it's pointing out the hypocrisy.

It’s not a gotcha just pointing out the double standard attitude of lots of people. Buying your way into the school of your choice is seen by some people as fair game but going private is not.

As I said near the start of the thread I don’t have kids in private school but if I did I’d rather be honest about it and pay the money direct to the school not to the bank via my mortgage.

But I suspect that’s the problem with these kind of people - it’s much easier to borrow the money via a mortgage than to have the cash up front. And that’s the real issue for these people - they’re fine with inequality as long and their kids benefit, but once it gets beyond what they can afford all of a sudden their faux socialist values come out.

I don’t have a problem with private schools at all. I was explaining why private schools are so disliked by a large proportion of the population - like so many things in England it’s all bound up with the class system.

Because we can’t shake off the baggage of feudalism, aristocracy, and inherited privilege. Whatever we try to do, however equitable we become, it’s always lurking in the background and the subconscious. When most people think of private schools they aren’t thinking of little local schools, they’re thinking of Eton (which is the only private school most could name).

People on BOTH sides can be vile. Report the really abusive posts and ignore the rest.

1. Not so much jealousy and envy as cynicism about our class system, lack of social mobility etc
2. Some Prejudice based on middle class stereotypes because
3. This works both ways and people with kids doing well in ordinary comps are maybe sick of hearing that their school is one that would ‘eat their child alive’ or could never do justice academically for the child of a family that could afford to pay
4. When times are hard divisiveness of all kinds rears its head . It isn’t Labour or any other agency specifically, everyone is at it. Have a pop at Boomers, claimants, people on PIP, migrants, fat people, single parents, anyone and everyone you perceive to be adding to your own hunkered down position making everyone feel like a victim. Look at this thread’s role in this!
5. But actually, many of the people who have control over whether times are hard or not did go to private school. Which takes us back to point 1.

(I went to private school, my Dc went to a non-leafy comp and got higher educational qualifications than me. I have no beef with parents who can afford it choosing to pay for education, but please, give over the whining)

I expect people to be grown ups and respectful of differing views - but perhaps when one can hide behind their posts they truly can be who they are …vile….i don’t care what side of the fence you sit….if you are choosing to be unkind….then you are vile…then these exact same people pretend to be wonderful socially conscious and then wonder why society is the way it is….look in the mirror and you have the answer.