How not to feel a dick about it?

[Starryknightcloud]

(Aware this is the ultimate first world problem, hence it being on the private schools board)

I know the answer is to make the decision that suits your family best and that is all that matters.

But it's trickier when all small talk is currently around school visits and applications. We will put a state application in but will get our catchment school which we are not happy with.

But how to say that when plenty of local kids will go there. It's not for me to be negative about it. But the only time I've mentioned X private school is an option then I was asked "why?" straight away.

One of our reasons involves medical needs which is understandably private.

We're incredibly unflashy so it also highlights that we probably have more money than people thought, especially with all the VAT news at the minute.

I assume best route once we know for sure is "they're going to X school, hope they like it - do you think little Bob is ready? They grow so fast" etc?

Slightly different situation but my DD is at an out of catchment secondary school because it's just a better school than the one in catchment (only one school in our catchment as we live rurally).
I've never felt particularly awkward, if anyone has asked I have just said something along the lines of "we let her visit both schools and she preferred x and also her best friends were going there".
If you don't slag off the other school people can't get too offended.
I get that private school triggers more of a debate but you make the decision for your child and you just have to stick with it, I don't think it needs to be a massive issue. "We thought x school was a better fit for her" end of story.

I've found that a lot of people say something like "Of course if we only had the one child, like you, then maybe we'd consider private but as we have two children it's just not remotely possible" - it's a way to reconcile themselves that they're ok for having made a different decision in case there's any kind of implied criticism because someone else chose something different.

This, and a lot of Catholicism coming out of the woodwork!

Lots of comments, thanks everyone. I think you're all right in that most won't care and those who are vocal don't need full details. Thank you

"They have an amazing wraparound care package." Hard to argue with that!

It’s a funny one though. I know so many people who’ve had extremely expensive extensions built onto their houses. For some reason other people will nod sagely when they hear about that but get ratty if someone chooses to send their child to private school.