If you moved from state to private…

[Stuckbetweenarockandarock]

When did you make the move and why?

DS in state primary, lovely school but not really being pushed and challenged, not a little Einstein or anything but definitely bright and needing more. Can private school offer that?

Cost is also a concern, we can only afford it if we are both working which makes me worried in case one of us lost our jobs we wouldn’t be able to afford it.

Moved my eldest for secondary and about the do the same with our middle. Cost is a concern too, as it is crazy amount of money! However, I feel it is worth it if you have dc that are academic, sporty and/or musical. Private school has more to offer and will challenge your dc. I would not waste the money though if my dc were not interested in the extracurricular activities they provide and/or the academics. My eldest loves doing the extra sports, clubs, choir and thriving at her new school. My ds would be the same.

Moved from state primary to independent secondary. Reasons:

• DD bright but well behaved and used by teachers in primary to manage the behaviour of less well behaved kids
• The state secondaries have relatively poor outcomes
• Smaller class sizes = teachers get to really know the kids and can adapt better to suit individual needs including stretch + challenge
• Positive relationships between all staff and pupils which = no draconian, ridiculous rules
• school bus route runs through the village (no public transport does)
• smaller class sizes in Indy
• better range of clubs
• sport every day with a really wide range of options
• don't have to follow restrictive national curriculum and a broader range of subjects through to GCSE

Moved from state primary to private secondary. The benefits of being very local, mixed, barely any homework, short days and part of the community were important to me at primary level.

At secondary, I knew more what type of DC I had. On that basis, I was looking for academically selective, single sex, good music / drama / sport (depending which DC), excellent pastoral care, broad curriculum with encouragement to go well beyond the syllabus (as much as possible, given GCSEs), the sort of discipline which treats teens as people who occasionally mess up and doesn’t sweat the small stuff while ensuring a safe and calm environment.

Both mine moved for Secondary because the State option was awful and we didn't want to move house.
There was no knowledge Gap, they were a bit behind with sports but soon caught up.
Both my DC were much more streetwise and mature than most of their peers that had been there since Prep and DD found transition to a large State 6th form quite easy unlike some
Right decision for us

@Stuckbetweenarockandarock What year is he in?

We moved our three children from our local state primary to prep school. Having firmly believed state education to be comparable in all except the extra curricular activities, upon becoming a governor, I had a total change of opinion and realised that the state primary system didn't actually best suit the needs of any of my children.

Eldest two are now at secondary school - both at state grammar schools', youngest still at prep school. Youngest will either go to a state grammar or continue down the independent pathway.

We live in an area that still has the grammar system. The grammar schools' are all really good academically (at least as good if not better than the independent schools) although they are not comparable with sport, drama, music, etc.

The non selective alternative locally all have very poor outcomes.

State primary to private secondary. We have good state secondaries here but they're good on the academics, with a bit of extra curricular. The extra curricular we're getting at private is absolutely brilliant. Plus the usual smaller classes, bigger breadth of curriculum, more sport, single sex etc

We moved from state primary to prep in year 3 for oldest child (our younger children also followed). I really wanted to believe in the local state option, I was in the PTA and heavily involved with the school. But! Covid laid bare how little our children were actually getting, compared to our own education years ago. We have one very able child who was simply not enjoying school anymore and wanted to stay home as it was more engaging than school. And I'm hardly Mary Poppins!

The prep we moved them to was non selective, but was loads better at teaching and stretching each child. It's not a perfect school by any means, but our children have found lots of things they are "good" at, and are encouraged to excel at them, and be ambitious for themselves. Your state primary might already be good at this - many are - but ours was not.

The one thing that surprised us, and validated the choice, were the ongoing assessments the school did, with CATs, PTMs, PTEs, etc. We didn't have that from our state school. Having data on our children's learning potential, ability and performance each term was a revelation, with actual "meaty" conversations possible with their teachers on their learning styles and how to get the best out of that. This is the "needing more" bit you are looking for. You typically have far more access to teachers in the private sector, so you can actually discuss this casually and often, compared to a five minute slot in a parents evening. It made all the difference in feeling engaged with what the children were learning and doing and concrete ways in which to support them.

That's what the private sector can offer you - but you would have to research if it's worth it to switch for your family.

I have dyslexic kids and moved them to private. They are thriving now. It’s worth the cost.

Can I ask how you all managed to afford it? What percentage were the fees of your income v mortgage etc?

All very helpful and confirming what I had already thought!

Did state primary in order to save up 3 years fees for when she started Yr 7.
We aren't huge earners so prioritise paying for fees over a bigger house etc.
You have to account for annual fee rise (which covers teacher pay rises/pensions/utility bills etc) and now of course VAT.

VAT is eating into the 1 year of savings we have left though so are going to have to put away an extra £300 per month somehow 🤔. Originally had thought she would do 6th form at her indy as it offers so much at 6th form but that's now looking unlikely which is a massive shame as it's the only 6th form around here which offers the subjects she loves (Ancient History/Classics/Latin/Medieval History).

Monthly fees are one third of our monthly take home, hence why we had to save first

State primary to private secondary for DC1 - mainly for high academic standard and opportunities - they are thriving there.

DC2 is at state secondary which is working out well - not so academic but doing well and getting plenty of opportunities in areas they are interested in. Would not have been suitable for DC1.

DC3 - probably will apply to same private as DC1 - not as academic as DC1 but will benefit from academic atmosphere and high expectations.

This all makes it sound like we don’t have high expectations for DC2 - we do, but recognise that they are a very different child!

What was your dd made to do to manage the behaviour of less well behaved kids?

Basically help them with their work and model "good" behaviour 🙄 mainly the boys. Just didn't sit right with me at all. Instead of the teachers challenging, and dealing with, the behaviour of boys/disruptive kids a girl of 10 yrs old was expected to show them how to behave??

Thanks

We did state primary, independent from Y7. Chose this based on school ethos, extra-curriculars, range of subjects (eg 2 mfl plus Latin studied from Y7) which really suited our academic and musical DC.
Local state comprehensive is outstanding and I think, looking at his friends from primary, he would have thrived there equally, would be applying to the same universities and would be predicted similar A level grades. However, the range of things he’s studied and the range of extracurricular opportunities he’s taken advantage of, mean that he’s developed a confidence that I could never have dreamt of.
The students who don’t/can’t take advantage of what’s on offer benefit far less from the investment, I think.

This question is asked regularly on mumsnet, but in all honesty I think every case is individual. Each child is different, everyone’s circumstances are different, everyone’s local offer is different…. So ultimately, I’d work out if it’s affordable for you, then look very, very carefully at the available schools and look beyond the glossy veneer which seems to dazzle some people. The vast majority of people are state educated and do absolutely fine. The supplementary stuff can be done at home, eg organising music, sport, cadets, drama, additional languages. It’s just more legwork (and cost).

Moved to private at 11 as DS was allocated a comp we really didn’t like. His brother followed 2 years later. Private had been v good for them, but it’s a staggering amount of money (and we earn c£300k jointly). When I look at friends whose kids stayed in the state system they’ve done equally well or better (thinking university places). If you’re struggling to see how you’d cover costs now, I’d say don’t go there. Use the cash to pay for clubs etc.

We moved both DC aged 11. I wasn't impressed with the state primary they were at or the local secondaries. Glad we made the move. But I would say that we didn;t choose the school because it was private but because it was right for DC. If a state school had felt right for them, we'd have chosen that instead, and we looked at several private schools that didn't feel right.

We could not have afforded private until now but we did look at moving DS to private for sixth form as it became apparent that he was working towards doing very well at GCSE level. There is only 1 private school in our county. There are others within reasonable travelling distance but without exception they were all too small to be able to offer what our state school do, in terms of the range of subjects offered, sports teams and choir. All of which are important to our ds. We considered boarding options too but that would have meant giving up a hobby that dc loves and competes at to a very high level.

DS is a child that did well at our catchment one form entry primary. It was an old Victorian school which was too small for the numbers on roll, had 2 small yards (no grass) for playtime and PE and a very mixed intake of kids. He was very happy throughout and exceeded expectations in his national testing (we’re in Wales so they do them every year from year 3-9). He was nurtured and encouraged in a big 8 form entry comprehensive school (huge catchment area so a very varied intake) with classes of 30 in most subjects. He could not have done any better in the 12 GCSEs that he sat and in the end it has been his decision to stay at school sixth form. One term in and it’s evident that he’s continuing to thrive.

Not all privates are amazing in the way that not all state schools are poor.

We are both very high earners (the costs and benefits of being in London). Also, we bought our house ages ago so even though our house is big, our mortgage is small and almost paid off. Earnings mostly go into school fees. It's the only reason we can afford it. We would not be able to afford our own house in today's prices let alone three sets of fees simultaneously.

Private schools vary a lot, just as much as state options, so you will need to know your child(ren) well in order to choose the best environment for them and to feel validated in your choice. Changing at year 3 helped us understand our oldest child's needs first - their character, capabilities, failings in their setting etc to even know what we were looking for in a school. The prep was simply how state schools used to be fifteen to twenty years ago - a sweet and wholesome place for children to learn and thrive with kind teachers. You may be lucky and have that already in your local state school so maybe give that a try first.

This all depends on what you earn and what you will do without. We had one oldish car and no holidays abroad. School uniform came mostly from second hand sales at school. Remember fees will go up, relentlessly and more than your salary. One family at the school had taken out a second mortgage to pay for their three. Many people now get help from GPs. That was never an option for us. That said, it was worth every penny for the discipline, love of learning, extra curricula, DS was pushed to fulfil his potential, great support for exams and uni entry.

I have three DC. They all started at state primary, the eldest two were fine but DC3 was in a tricky class with some disruptive kids. We eventually moved him to private school in year 3. It was better for him because of the specific situation, I.e. to get him away from some unpleasant kids, but to be honest it wasn't THAT much better than a good state school experience (which my eldest two had for free). They all went on to state secondary school, the younger two are still there and doing well while DC1 is now studying a STEM subject at a highly ranked university.

We moved our DC from state to private schooling when they were due to start secondary school.Our catchment school was(and still is)at the bottom of league tables and in a very deprived part of town with a lot of crime.Our DC were bright and able and keen to learn,and I don't think they would have thrived at a school were the classes could be constantly disrupted by the behaviour of some other pupils.

Our DC are at a wonderful state primary and have loved it. However, DD1 is in Year 6 and we are applying to private schools for secondary. Personally I think that this is the better way around if it's a case of choosing one over the other but as others have said, it's about your options locally and what's right for your child.

It's not a decision we've taken lightly, because of the cost and the fact that all of DDs friends will go state and I am sure she'd have a great time there. And of course the entire country seems to be anti-private at the moment which adds to the paranoia! But we are just out of catchment for our local excellent state secondary and the other options aren't great. For me it's not about exam results but about the whole school experience, the opportunities and the confidence and self-belief that many private schools successfully instil. Our goal isn't Oxbridge, it's a happy, well-rounded young person who has found their passion and is ready to pursue their dreams, whatever they are. And if it turns out to be a monumental waste of money, then I hope at least she'll have had a lot of fun with all those extra facilities! 😅