Fees paying alone but married.

[Mumloveswine]

My Daughter is year 8, it is a long bus ride to her grammar school so I am looking at options to move her.
The local comprehensive school is full.

My husband isn’t her dad, and doesn’t believe in private schools, so I would pay her fees on my own wage. I could have just about afforded it before the VAT increase but not now.

I read somewhere a while ago that this has happened before and the biological parent’s income is only taken into account, so I could apply for a bursary. Even though our household income is high, it is only my income that would being used.

Her biological dad would contribute £200 a month, as he is on a low wage.

Does anyone have any information about this or heard something similar?
I don’t want to seem like a fool if I rang the private school.

Consider move home instead if she is your only child and happy in the grammar school?

This depends on the school’s bursary policies and how VAT has affected the bursary pot. Most private schools where I am have paused all bursaries for new students that aren’t in years 6/7/11/12. You might need to call a few schools to compare.

Sorry it hit raw nerve, but why do you think someone else should pay for your child's shorter journey to school, especially given high household income, when tens of thousands of parents are forced to move their happily settled (and in many cases ND) kids from private to state because of VAT?

I that existing (or rather remaining) bursary pots will be used to support current students instead.

Have you considered a taxi door to door? I am serious. Depending on the bus route and the direct driving route this might make it easier. Where I live the grammar school often has parents arranging a group taxi which works most of the time. The bus route takes twice as long. If there are after school clubs or rehearsals then the taxi leaves as usual taking the other children home. For your DD it is just her so the taxi firm should be able to accommodate. The drivers are DBS checked. You might get lucky and someone else wants to double up so it halves the cost.

How long is her current journey door to door?

Wow. Your household can afford private fees but you're hoping you can bend the rules to take advantage of a bursary that other families have contributed to, so that your dd doesn't have to sit on a bus?

Your dh is in for a shock of your dd wants to go to uni as ALL household income is included.

How long is the bus ride? I went to a grammar school and it took me well over an hour sometimes up to 2 hours each way door to door because of the wait for buses and a walk to bus stop. I used to read or do homework on the bus and made a network of friends from different age groups. Has your daughter actually complained about the bus ride?

Contact the schools to check what income they take into account - that's the only way to find out. But, I think bursaries are becoming worth less and harder to get. Where I used to work, the bursaries would have been allocated well in advance of the start of the academic year.
If the grammar school isn't worth the long day, get on the waiting list for your local state school.

Yeah I may get a rental close, but I have another daughter year 7 at the local comp 😩. Such a mess, but at least it won’t be forever.

I think she’s just knows my weak spot as I regret putting her into the school, and is complaining about it and I then feel guilty. I need to parent better 🤣it’s a 40min bus ride. Most people in her class have a similar ride, just shorter distance with lots of stops.

The school is good, and she’s doing well and has friends but maybe she’s just being a lazy teenager and I’d have the same issue whatever school so goes to.
Thanks for the info about bursaries only in year 7 and 12, and they are probably reducing those even with the VAT increase.

40 min bus ride is not unusual.

Tell her you can't afford the private school fees so her options are-
Stay where she is or
Put her on waitlist for local comp.

You are the parent here so take control!

Yes I didn’t think of this, there will be less bursaries available. Thanks for the info.

Our old schools have substantially reduced the number of bursaries and exhibitions.
They are mainly available now for looked after and / or foster children. Plus those already receiving them.

Both schools considered total household income, irrespective of biological parentage before the budget.
Low income alone rarely guaranteed support. Many other things were taken into account including grades, exceptional music, sport, art etc etc talent.

Yes you are right, we are fortunate, just want the best place for my daughter like most, so weighing up the options, without thinking about anyone else’s situation at the moment, as my brain is mushed.

I did look into this at the start of year 7, all the taxi firms I contacted said no and I’m not sure they even gave a reason. It’ll be financial. I’ll ring again though, there are quite a few kids go from around here.

When you put it like that, I do need to give my head a wobble as it’s really not a big deal in the scheme of things.

Yes I deffo need to parent better, she’s got me wrapped around her finger.

Thanks so much for the info.

Any bursaries and scholarships at our school are now ring fenced for families struggling to continue paying fees.

Nobody who's not already there will get any discounts.

40 mins bus to secondary is not unusual. I have 2 that go on a bus to a grammar, it's a public bus and takes just under an hour. Many many at their school have similar journeys. If she's getting on well there and is generally happy, and the only reason she wants to move is to avoid a 40 mins bus ride, I'd tell her tough. It's a good school, others have similar longer journeys and she just needs to get used to it. Do homework, play a game, listen to music or a podcast on the bus.

I would not be paying private school fees to avoid a child whining about a bus ride.

I'd put her on the waiting list for the comp and then tell her to get on with it for now. She can consider moving if a place comes up. It wouldn't be fair to put her in private school to avoid the bus journey and not offer the same to your other DD.

40 min?
That was considered normal among parents then my children went to grammar school.

40 mins is very normal! Very odd reason to move. Just tell her no, you can’t afford it. Also it would be very unfair on your other daughter. Why does she really want to leave?

This, rather shit for your other daughter!

Whats the actual door to door time typically OP?

40 mins bus ride is fine if the buses are regular and the bus stops are fairly close to both your house and the school at the other end. However if theres only a couple of buses an hour and theres a 15 mins walk at both ends to the bus stop I can see how this could be pretty tiring over a week.