Fees paying alone but married.

[Mumloveswine]

My Daughter is year 8, it is a long bus ride to her grammar school so I am looking at options to move her.
The local comprehensive school is full.

My husband isn’t her dad, and doesn’t believe in private schools, so I would pay her fees on my own wage. I could have just about afforded it before the VAT increase but not now.

I read somewhere a while ago that this has happened before and the biological parent’s income is only taken into account, so I could apply for a bursary. Even though our household income is high, it is only my income that would being used.

Her biological dad would contribute £200 a month, as he is on a low wage.

Does anyone have any information about this or heard something similar?
I don’t want to seem like a fool if I rang the private school.

40 mins is normal to secondary

If it’s a competitive grammar you’d be mad to pay, if it’s not then maybe worth a try? I’ve noticed different schools have different income levels they accept for bursaries. Good luck OP.

I think I was overthinking it and it has been getting me down, but thanks for the true words of advice that I needed on this forum, can’t see the wood for the trees sometimes.

This is true, I hadn’t thought of the VAT issues that current students would face. Very selfish of me 🤦.

(that sounded sarcastic but isn’t).

I don’t think it’s that competitive the grammar, but depends on the year group. Wasn’t for my daughter at the time.
I think I would be mad to pay £19000 a year because she doesn’t like a bus ride 🫣.
Thanks for the well wishes.

Thanks, it’s not much really is it when I think about it. She just needs to stop her moaning, and I need to get a grip 🤣

Or he might think that there is a difference between topping up a student loan by £5000 for three years and paying private school fees for a child who is already in a good school where she is happy but doesn't want to get the bus.

40 mins - Good grief !

I live in an area where there are 3 grammar schools and i know children travel from a nearby city to get to school !

You have a lazy teenager and when she leaves her current school her place will be given to someone who will appreciate it.

Are you also going to send your other child to private school ? as i guess she didn't get into the grammar hence going to the local comp.

After all you wouldn't treat your children differently, would you just because of a bus journey.

I agree. If your partner or your ex won't subsidise fees why do you think other folk should. The bursary thing seems a bit of a con to me. Sorry.

Yes on paper doesn’t sound fair, but my other daughter loves the local school. She has joined all the clubs and has her friends over, which is probably what my year 8 daughter has been seeing and is jealous. Maybe it’s not the bus ride but everything that goes with not going to the local school.

Yes 40mins isn’t much compared to some journeys. I think she’s just winding me up and doesn’t want to go to any school at all, she just wants to sit in bed/ play the Computer.
Which is probably not worth wasting £19000 a year private school fees on.
I have come to the realisation that she just needs to get on with it.

100k to avoid a completely normal bus run to a good school is nuts. You could give each kid a house deposit for that.

Yes he is the sensible one 🤣 he could afford to send his kid to private school but wouldn’t on principle.
I got brought up in primary private school then grammar, so that’s probably inbuilt 🤣

Yes he is the sensible one 🤣 he could afford to send his kid to private school but wouldn’t on principle.
I got brought up in primary private school then grammar, so that’s probably inbuilt 🤣

I don't think the OP has said if her boyfriend has children never mind what schools they go to.

I don't know what you mean by 'got brought up in primary private'.

I think my child just knows how to wear me down when I have PMS! I will tell her tough luck to stay at the grammar, rather than me paying £100k because she doesn’t want to go on a bus.

Meant primary school=private, secondary=grammar.

40 minutes is nothing. I went to Grammar, and my bus took an hour with a 30 minute walk at the end of it. If she’s happy at the school, leave her there. You’re seriously considering spending hundreds of thousands of pounds just so your dd does have the inconvenience of a fairly short commute?

Tens of thousands? Really?

Why is one in private school and the other not? Seems unfair?

One is in grammar, other in local school as that was both their wishes at the time. They are completely different kids and both wanted to go where their friends were going.

Meant primary school=private, secondary=grammar.

I went to private school for my whole school life, from four to eighteen but that hasn't got anything to do with the OP's daughter not wanting to get the bus and the OP thinking of paying one hundred thousand pounds to facilitate that.

Or her partner not wanting to pay for a child who isn't his to go to a private school so she doesn't have to get the bus.

Because one parent having a bursary isn’t going to affects tens of thousands of ND kids that are now forced to go to state school!!

The OP is trying to find the best solution for her child, whose PARENTS meet the low income threshold.
Unlike you’re telling me that it’s now the step parent role to pay for the child? Interesting take you rarely see on MN.

40 mins is very average. My journey to secondary school took 90 mins in the mornings (London, rush hour) and about an hour in the afternoons.

We moved to rural Ireland when I was a teen. My dad drove me to the nearest town ahead of his start time at work (so I got there about 7.50 - he was on a building site for 8 am). I then waited for the bus to the nearest city to go to school - it stopped at four secondary schools and mine was the third! All in all it took me about an hour to get to school.

An important lesson in resilience possibly 😂

Yes, £100k or tough parenting 🤣