Private vs State

[mala1]

Hi
I cannot decide whether to go private or state education for my daughter. We originally applied for our state local primary school and due to the amount of siblings and twin we didnt get in first time. Then the school opened another class to cater for the local children and my daughter was allocated a place. In the meantime we have search for private schools as the alternative state school was not to our standards and we fall in love with a private school. When the state school place was available to us we kind of forgot about the idea to go private but then my parents decided to fund it as a lovely gift to our daughter. Both schools are excellent and I dont know what to do!!

Having seen both sides, I don't have doubts that he's better off where he is.

Depends what extracurricular activities you choose to do. Ds does a range of different things at the weekend that aren't offered at his school.

most of my friends who've gone private have never regretted it, though they have seen with hindsight that they probably would have been just as happy had they taken the riskier state option. I have one friend with older dd at private, younger one at state. she really really wishes the older (private) one had had the experience that the younger one is now having.

I will go to next weeks private school meeting and see how I feel. My first time at this school was instant connection but I dont underestimate their marketing capabilities! My daughter spend the day there while they were assessing her and she loved the school whereas the other day she went to the state school 20 minutes induction ( one of 2 sessions) and she cried and didn't want to stay which put me off completely. However, today I went with my other half to the parents induction evening and I was very impressed..

Our local school apparently have many many clubs... but I dont know enough and they are not fixed .. they changed all the time. I've always dream that my daughter will be introduced and encourage to play a musical instrument.. and I'm worried that state schools are not that strong on this point...

I think funding is a huge problem in any school. At a private school parents/grandparents pay for this though so it's encouraged. I was shocked (in a good way) at all the opportunities availiable for my son at his secondary school, the teachers spoke with such passion aswell. We spoke to them after the induction day and it was clear that they really loved what they were doing, it was great.

I have the same positive feeling the first time we went to the private school. I didnt fall for the facilities ... what sold me the school was the teachers and their passion.. they talked to us, they shared their pupils work and it was amazing..

Sounds like you've made your mind up.

well yes but I still have doubts and need reassurance... that is why I'm seeking all this advise from all of you...

elledechocolatefluffybunny, you have been fab by the way!

I'd go for the private school. My son has spent time in state schools and I would never put him back, I'd home ed him first (which is no easy task considering he's 4+years ahead). There's far more opportunities in the private sector and the teachers are passionate. I can't say it clearer then this.

May I suggest a trial period? If she/you hate it or if it doesn't work for your family then move her.

Why thankyou.

do you mean a trial at the private?

If I decline my place now I may lose the 1st term fees so maybe I should try the 1st term in the private one....

Yes. I'd give it a year though, not a term. A term isn't long enough. Trial the private school first, it's easier as you won't want to move her

i believe you!

thank you!

You are very welcome

I will let you know the outcome

It's a no brainer - go private.

My kids have flourished since they moved into the private sector.

They are still part of the community as they didn't exactly vanish into the ether. I'm always staggered by the notion that a child who goes to a private school is not part of the community, whereas all child that go to state schools are. Crazy!

My girls do swimming, piano, ballet, modern dance, proper sports at school now, whereas they never did these before. Obviously they do French taught by trained MFL teachers, and several other specialist-taught subjects, with specialist facilities.

The only things we do outside of school is Rainbows/Brownies/Guides and church - this hasn't changed since they moved schools - and not only puts them in the community, but enables them to contribute to it.

Do you see many differences at reception level?

I have had both my DDs at private and state schools. Way too many infact but thats because of our mobile lifestyle (Forces).

Eldest DD went private in reception. My youngest DD went to a fab state school in reception.

Both DDs could read when they started school.

Eldest DD (private) started straight into full school days and brought home books suited to her level of reading and she progressed quickly through the reading programme. By Xmas there was a marked and very obvious improvement in her reading skills.

Youngest DD (state) started on a part time system and it was the every end of Spetember before she did a full school day. Despite being able to read she was sent home with picture books. I went into school and explained she could read but was told ALL reception children start at the same level so any less able children have time to catch up. I was told reception was not really about academics but more about learning social skills and that proper academic work would start in year 1.

I have to say although frustrated with this attitude the teacher was lovely, felt her career choice was more a vocation iykwim, she was so caring with the little ones and the school had a wonderful atmosphere in general. It was lovely to walk to school and be in our village. However even DD2 was getting bored with her picture books and tbh - we rarely sat down to look at them as it all seemed pointless. Luckily eldest DD had some old books which DD2 would read. By the Xmas - DD2 was holding her own but there was no real improvement in her reading. Had we not been posted and moved house. I do think we may have considerd moving DD2 into privte school by year 1.

This is one example of just 2 different schools. All State and Privte schools are different. You get good and bad in both. There are pros and cons to both types of schools and really only YOU can decide what you think will be best for your DD.

Both my DDs have moved in and out of both state and private schools and pre year 4 its easy to do. I only say year 4 because in my DDs current prep school this is the year when ALL subjects are taught by specialist teachers and they move around the campus to different lessons. IE: Science in a lab, French in a language classroom/lab. etc etc. I dont know if either would now find sitting in one classroom with 1 main teacher all day a bit boring now - only because of what they have become familiar with. Pre year 4 most subjects are taught by their main teacher with maybe just someone in for Art, French, Music etc. So not too different to any state primary.

Its an agonising decision. I am pro whatever suits anyone and their kids at the time and hate the assumption (some people make) because my kids are currently in prep school I am a toff or anti state schools! That is something to be aware of - if you go private. Some people seem to take it s a personal snub to them and also seem to think they have the right to comment on your choice!

My DDs now board (another emotive topic)and to me the biggest downside (atm) to their private schooling is I feel they are leading a blinkerd existnce with ALOT of very privelidged kids from very wealthy backgrounds. Not all are like this - there is mix of people who sacrafice hell of alot to pay for it, Forces families like us etc. as well but tbh - there are no real poverty cases at the school and I do worry about the fact my girls are in this "bubble". Not such a worry for day children, as they can still mix with the broader and local community through Brownies, Gym clubs etc.

Sorry for the long post. But hope some of my insight may help you little.

I'd say go private.

Also of course you are still part of a community! I walk out the door and see people I know (through ds and his school) nearly everyday. (although we are in London.)

Ds spent reception in a state school. He's very, very bright and could already read/do basic maths/basic science when he started school so he found all of the play frustrating, he'd had problems in nursery because he was so bored so reception wasn't the best place for him. I pulled him out and moved him to the private school for the start of year 1, the children in his class could read better and their maths skills were better. I'd say that they were at the same level as a few of the brighter reception children but the very bright children were allowed to go further ahead as there was more flexibility (in the private school)

I think you will find many passionate people in both sectors so this should not really be a decisive factor.

It is true that state schools follow the EYFS for reception so they tend not to be as academically focused. We looked at both state and private and at reception there was a difference. It's whether you want your child to be sitting and doing formal reading and writing at 4 or whether you want them to have a more informal approach. Like other posters said, it depends on what your child is like.

My eldest two would have probably suited the private environment better in this sense, but we have opted for our village school as we are very much part of the community. Also it helps that it is Ofsted Oustanding in all areas, it gets the best results in the county and it is a great place for the younger kids especially.

It is also a truly socially mixed school, with people who are in business, law, medicine, people who work on farms, travellers and people who live on benefits.

This is because there aren't really any private schools within a 30 mile radius, so most people who want to send them private move or wait until later on (year 3 onwards).

With regards to clubs, like others' said, they are doing them locally out of school and it's not a big deal ferrying them at this stage. I can't imagine them doing horse riding or rainbows at school anyway...

Weigh up all the pros and cons but most of all, go with your gut feeling.

Good luck with your decision!!! x

I'm in a similar situation in that my parents are paying for my daughter's schooling but I didn't just want to go for it without considering the pros and cons of state vs independent. It's obviously a contentious issue which was not easily discussed with friends whose children are in state schools as I could hardly moan about my predicament and yet it was a great concern to me. I found friends were quite keen to make the arguement for state as this was what they were doing (understandable) but they were hardly impartial. I made the decision to go for the independent option due mainly down to class sizes and the fact that it is hard to turn down something that, on paper at least, is "better" for so many reasons. If the indep school is really far away, I'd consider this as a minus but if it's in the local area they will soon be old enough for sleepovers meaning their geography is less relevant and also you can be in touch with the local kids with clubs/park/etc.