Private school reception children - what are yours doing?

[wheelsonthebus]

My dc is in a (middling to v average) state school and I am keen to know whether there is a significant difference at this stage in reading, writing and numeracy between the school and a more academic/private school which I would like to aspire to at 7+. What are yours doing now and what more could I be doing at home?

I wasn't aware that education was a race. Who benefits by children achieving things early? Could it possibly be the parents who can boast in the playground? My kids have cousins who are privately educated, on both sides of the family. They are the ones that at family gatherings can't mix, can't share and can't talk to others outside of their experience. Education is surely about more than being "better" than others in the class / community. By having to work with and learn with children of wide backgrounds and ability my kids are learning so much more than the 3Rs. And I loved the fact that not one mum at their school asked or cared about other kids Sats results - they knew that there are so many other things that count much more.

Woah! My point about the 3B was only for those who want to enter the top academic preps at 7+ (as the OP did say she was interested in 7+).

DS1 is in an independent school which caters well for a spectrum of abilities without setting. There are special needs teachers for those who are struggling and additional work for those who are ahead. There is no expectation from the school that all the boys in Year 2 will sit 7+ - only those boys who show the maturity and attainment potential at the time of the exams is encouraged to even take the exam. This is usually about a third of the class.

The emotional needs of the boys, as well as social and moral aspects is stressed just as much as the academic. It is not a hothouse for prepping boys for exams as only a third will even take the exams (and those who will be taking them do a club outside of regular school to prep for it).

Ds is in Y1 at a private school.

His reading book was changed as often as he needed it. He read with the teacher or TA around 2-3 times a week but his reading record was checked every day.
He spent the majority of the rest of his time playing, making things, acting out little stories, discovering things. He blossomed and his confidence grew.

Does it really matter? In Sweden they start formal education at 7.They are hardly a nation of thickos.In fact the Swedes seem pretty cultured and sophisticated.

Oh God, I wish I'd put money on how quickly someone would weigh in with the 'oh but look how socially crap private school children are' comment.

Well done, BicycleBelle - you get the prize!

OK, I just had to delete the rest of what I wrote so as not to get chucked off MN - but FFS I am so tired of the ridiculous and offensive stereotyping of private school kids.

Yes, Sleepinglion, no-one on MN would ever put forward a stereotypical view about state schools or those who attend them.

Ooh, marvellous. So because there are on Mumsnet posters who will put forward stereotypical views on one particular group of people, it is automatically perfectly OK for anyone who wants to to put forward stereotypical views of any other group they feel like?

Why was I not told before? After all, there are some posters on MN who put forward stereotypical views about state schools and those who attend them, so no one has any right to object to any lazy stereotype I feel like posting, right?

After all, if this thread has shown anything it's that there's a vast spectrum of attainment levels, academic pushiness, focus on pastoral care, and pretty much anything else you care to mention, across both state and private schools.

My DD is in Reception where she reads to a school adult once a week and is given no homework. She reads 'real' books so levels are irrelevant, writes in (mostly) correctly punctuated sentences including the use of speech marks and apostrophes, learns French, has learnt to hula-hoop (round the waist and the neck!?!), counts in 2s, 5s, 10s, does mental addition and subtraction using numbers up to about 50, sings in harmony (obviously not by herself), uses Makaton to communicate with a couple of children in the year group who need it and has a lot of fun.

She's at a perfectly reasonable SE London state school and is incredibly happy. I imagine she'd be performing at similar levels had we sent her to one of the local private schools.

Professor, I felt Sleepinglion was being excessively about the comment made by Bicyclebelle. Have a low tolerance for that kind of comeback.

Yes, but unless you have some evidence that Sleepinglion has herself been putting forward stereotypical views about state schools and those who attend them (and if you have, go for it) then your comment wasn't even vaguely relevant.

If you mean "I think you're being excessively [something] about Bicyclebelle's comment", then say that. "So-and-so did [whatever the bad behaviour is] first" is the sort of comeback I'd expect from a four-year-old (well, to be honest, it's the sort of comeback I (wearily) expect from a five-year-old right now, but I'm trying to break him of the habit... )

Does looking down on people (or perhaps just me) come naturally to you?

I don't look down on you. You gave a kneejerk response that was unworthy of your generally sensible and well-tempered posting style.

If I'd looked down on you I'd instead have decided that it was entirely typical of you and not bothered mentioning it.

I think I've just been patted on the head but am going to go with it as quite like being patted on head

My dd is in reception at a struggling state school. She is reading ancient Greek fluently, has written a play which will shortly be put on by the Royal Court and has been invited to give a lecture at Cambridge University to their PhD students in theoretical physics.

That's how some of these threads read to me, anyway

rollaCoasta is most definitely the wisest. Seeker, I'll fight you for her.

"My dd is in reception at a struggling state school. She is reading ancient Greek fluently, has written a play which will shortly be put on by the Royal Court and has been invited to give a lecture at Cambridge University to their PhD students in theoretical physics."

Actually, to me these threads read much more"Your child is at a state primary school, so is obviously barely literate and has never seen a cricket bat"

Or "Really Your child is at a state primary school and they have an Orchestra? Are you sure?

we are regularly accosted in the local playground by the mums of the next door boys prep school wanting (demanding) to know what level book our kids are on at our (v good) state school. they are always v pissed off, and seriously want to know "how and why"?

one even didn't believe me and called dd over to read some of her son's (easy imo) book.

but dd is a v good reader with great expression and showed her quite willingly!

lots of interesting stuff on here, but also lots of generalisations.

We arein the process of possibly moving DD from an OFSTED "outstanding" state primary to a private school with mediocred GCSE results...The reason? She is way behind the national average at her current school despite being in middle sets for everything because, I think,

a) she is quiet, sociable and causes no problems so gets overlooked constantly, for everything from swimming teams, certificates, extra help in the classroom, as she's not a "stand-out" child

b) because of above no-one noticed she is dyslexic, dyspraxic and possibly has attention issues. Oh, and can apparently not hear that well either. Hence the delay in her progress. This is after 5 years at an apparently outstanding school. Even now her problems have been assessed (not by school's ed psych, they refused to refer her! but by us paying a huge amount to a private ed psych) they still aren't interested as apparently they have other children who got there first/need more help and have limited resources.

Therefore I'd like to know what choice we really have in the state system? I really don't want to take DD away but she needs to catch up with her age-level now. Thus we are not looking to the private sector to make her degree-level at 12 as others seem to be implying on here, merely to help her catch up with her peers.

The OP asked what our children were doing in reception, not what everyone in the class was doing. Of course there is a wide range in the class as there is in every single school. Some children are on the earlier stages and some are further on. Some children are further ahead than others. Some children are almost a year older than the others. Some get lots of reading for homework, others don't get as much. It all depends on the individual child.

And just because a child is ahead of where they "should" be with their reading skills does not mean that a school is a hot house environment or that the children are pressured or have little pastoral care. The school my children go to has an outstanding report from ofsted with the pastoral care highlighted as one of the areas of excellence

Another thing to bear in mind is the long holidays private schools have. They have to squeeze more in the short time they are actaully at school!

in your case thirtysomething i would be moving her too.
i am lucky, dd1 is bright and doesn't get overlooked. same as children needing extra support.

but i can imagine that children "in the middle" may not reach their potential. or worse as in your dd's case.

thanks amidawish - yes, it's a shame that more often than not it's the middle-range children that get overlooked in the state system.

Going back to the original question of the OP, I guess the point I was -rather longwindedly-trying to make is that it is impossible to generalise about types of school and individual children's achievements; it's more about your own child achieving their potential, whatever that may be.

The most important thing a parent can do is to try to work out whether his/her child is progressing across the board in line with his/her abilities. For example, I know that my DD is not getting as much numeracy work as she would like and is able to do at school so I have worked out what to do in order that she can progress at home. I know that she is being taught to write joined up cursive at school and is progressing steadily and well at school - so I leave that well alone. I didn't think that arts & crafts were up to much at all at school, so she has been doing extra-curricular arts & crafts and has made lots of progress. I know that I have to overload her on English in order to keep her English at MT standard in a French-English bilingual school. Etc.

Obviously, if you have available and can afford a really fabulous private school, you might be able to trust the school a bit more!

Fantastically anecdotal and am sure this will be shot down for making sweeping generalisations but still I think this matters in this sort of debate.

So I have a SIL who teaches in a very well thought of prep school. I also have a friend who teaches in a deprived area of London primary. Before I had kids, I went out socially with both sets of teachers. Private school teachers were pretty much all Daily Mail readers or didn't read a paper at all. They thought it funny, as I was amazed they never watch the news, so very uninformed about the world and though genuinely nice people were a bit dull to be honest. My friend's group of state teachers on the other hand were passionate about their work, imaginative in how they spoke of their teaching - in fact they wouldn't shut up about it. All also very politically aware and up for the world.

DS is now at a local primary and his teachers v.much chime with the state group of teachers I met years ago. Might be because we're inner London, which am guessing attracts a slightly more radical type, but I'm so pleased he's being taught by people like that rather than my SIL's cohort. It's not that they're not good teachers, as they probably are, it's more they were a bit uninspiring and narrow minded.