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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

A bit annoyed - penalising working Mums?

64 replies

designergirl · 22/05/2010 23:17

My dd's primary school sent a letter home saying they are having an "informal" time for parents to go in and look over children's work. There is only one day and one time available for my daughters class, and unfortunately it falls on a day when I have to work. The other thing that has annoyed me this week is the pressure my dd is feeling about Walk to School week. I do agree with this idea in principle, and I do walk with her, and her 3 yr old and 1 yr old sisters when possible (on my days off work), but 3 days a week I have to get ready and drop all 3 off at the Nursery at 7.30am, and then drive 10 miles to work. There's no way we can walk to school on these days, yet my dd is feeling pressures by the teacher and won't get a certificate bcse she has gone in the "dreadful" car. It's not fair, and I feel a little bit like I am being penalised for being a working mum.

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foureleven · 29/05/2010 16:57

The note thing is great, all teachers should have to do it.
You sound a lot more reasonable than the likes of seeker
I may be out of line but I get the impression she would do the catsbum mouth if I asked her to make an alternative arrangement like the teaches do at my school

mrz · 29/05/2010 17:12

I would like to point out there needs to be give and take on both sides. When I took over my present class a mum phoned and asked to see me saying she couldn't get there until after six. I asked the secretary to phone and say that was fine could we arrange it for Thursday (it was then Tuesday) and I'm afraid she was not happy to wait...

nooka · 29/05/2010 17:25

Well that's obviously out of order too. For me it's just the notice really, and not because it upset me not to go to school events, but because it really really upset my dd. Our school was pretty good at having parents evening slots run until 6pm I think, which with notice I could always make (I have no problem with leaving early or going in late provided I can book it in my diary a month or two in advance). One of the other major differences between the SAH and WOH parents is that for many of those working the commute had to be added on (an hour either way for me), so a quick pop in for 10 mins becomes a bit of an operation.

foureleven · 29/05/2010 17:56

Eurgh Mrz. I hope you killed her..? Even the most demanding of my clients will wait a day or two...

We still havent been told what day the start of autumn term will be.. Luckily I have a good childminder who's flexible.

emy72 · 30/05/2010 08:55

I just wanted to backup everything that foureleven said on here......I think teachers often compare themselves to non-professional workers and feel therefore hard done by. But if they compared themselves to the majority of professional workers (think for example corporate jobs in low or middle managerial positions -- which is what their salary compares to), then they come off pretty well overall.

It has become pretty tough out there for everyone, unfortunately. No payrises for most corporate jobs in the last few years, very long hours expected and yes you are always expected to be there and answer queries from clients even on your meagre 4 weeks' holidays a year. That is if you want a chance of keeping your job and not being hit at the next round of "redundancies".

Having said all of the above, I can't think of a way around nativities or sports days apart from doing them at weekends? That wouldn't be too unreasonable I guess. Teachers' kids could come along? Just an idea......but it will never happen will it!!

seeker · 30/05/2010 08:58

"Having said all of the above, I can't think of a way around nativities or sports days apart from doing them at weekends? That wouldn't be too unreasonable I guess."

And all the kids whose parents couldn't be arsed to bring them in on Saturday would miss out.

emy72 · 30/05/2010 09:14

You're right seeker I hadn't thought of that one....so there isn't really another way is there, I guess....

mrz · 30/05/2010 09:20

We've tried doing evening performances but half the cast don't show up and some parents complain that it clashes with bedtimes.

myredquattro · 30/05/2010 17:40

Firstly, Emy, who would look after my 3 children under 6 if we held sports day on a Saturday and I was in charge of my class?

Ok, it was me who said about syaying late. What I was saying is why can't I stay a bit later and you leave a bit earlier so a bit of give and take? I'll stay an extra hour until 6pm and you leave a little earlier to get there then. BTW, I am often in work at 7.30 and always before 8am and usually leave around 5.15 so hardly a short day. I'm more than happy to stay a little later occas to meet a parent but a bit of flexibility on their part would also help.

In an average year I do 2 late night parents evenings, 1 Christmas production which sees me at school until 9pm, 1 parents meeting for Y6 parents to go through SATs, transfer options etc and give up 2 Saturdays for Christmas+summer fayres. So that's 4 late nights plus 2 Saturdays. Oh and until my kids were born I gave up every Feb half term to go to PGL. So I think I do my fair share.

Also, as I said earlier, I never get to see my kids sports days etc. That's the bum end of teaching.

nooka · 30/05/2010 17:40

I don't think that important primary school stuff (performances or formal updates) should happen at night or on the weekend. With enough notice those parents who think their child's school achievements are important will manage to have someone there, and it's only two or three times a year after all. I just think it would be nice if (some) schools communicated better and recognised that a significant proportion of parents will be working when they send out their invitations.

silverdogflower · 30/05/2010 17:50

Nice Headteachers remember that their staff have kids too and let them have time off to go to parents' evenings and nativity plays and sports days. Come and work at my school!

RacingSnake · 30/05/2010 20:10

Saturday nativities definitely wouldn't work. Last year I did after-school rehearsals for our school play, since the Head felt there was no time in the curriculum and the children love their school play. Unpaid, in my own time, with my DD crying every time I left her to go and do a rehearsal.

Several parents complained that they had to wait for their child/pick them up at a different time. I did not bother this year; sometimes once feels that you can never do enough to please parents.

The endless argument about 'who works harder' and 'do teachers live in the real world' is one of those things which sometimes makes me wonder why I bother trying to make things more fun for other people's kids; I'll just spend time with my own.

And, incidentlally, when I was full time, I worked Saturday evening and most of Sunday for school already.

cat64 · 31/05/2010 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

desanimaux · 18/06/2010 11:17

It's really difficult but any working parent has to realise that something's got to give. I wouldn't expect the school to accomodate my timetable. It's part of having children - the consideration that it is best if there is someone there at the beginning and end of the school day, with no rushing off to work at silly-o-clock and dumping their child in pre-school club. I wouldn't compromise my relationship with DD and DS by missing out on our walk-to-school chat, it's really great! If everyone took the time to walk to school it would be a lot more pleasant for everyone!

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