Has anyone ever regretted deferring their child's entry into primary one (Scotland)

[ChristianaTheSeventh]

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Mine are much older, but I have lots of friends who deferred / are going to defer their children. The only one who has regrets is my friend with a Jan birthday who didn't defer her son. He was OK in primary, but is struggling in S3 now.

My best friend is a teacher, and she said that she'd always recommend deferring, if there's any doubt.

DD turned 12 earlier this year - she is just finishing P7 and I am glad we deferred her. Just the other day she said that she was pleased that she was one of the oldest in the year and not one of the youngest.

But ... I did have my doubts in the early years, especially when she ended up in composite classes with the same kids she would have been with if she had started at 4.5yo.

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I have a few friends who have deferred their Jan/Feb born children, and none have any regrets. One is now about P7 too.

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My friend and I have just went through this, her DD has a Feb birthday, my DD2 end of January, she deferred I didn't.

I think it depends a lot on the individual child TBH, DD2 has always been advanced for her age, probably due to having a sister that is only 18 months older than her, DD2 thinks she is her twin and has to do everything she does. She is used to going up to the school has been in the classroom loads of time and I think she knows what to expect. Also she knows about 10 other children that are going to be in her P1 class, 7 are in her nursery class and there are at least 5 of them with January birthdays so she won't be the youngest in the class.

If it had been DD1 going at 4 1/2 I would have deferred her as she was really immature for her age.

From what you have said I think you are making the right decision, I think school is a big step even at 5, personally I would prefer another year at nursery with school starting at 6.

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I have never for one second regretted deferring dd1 and ds (both Feb birthdays, so started school at 5y6m). They got an extra year of nursery, and have done fantastically well at school, I am sure because they are that little bit older and more mature.

Dd2 is an end November birthday and we didn't defer - and now I have occasional twinges - she's much further behind that the other 2 were at the same stage (p2) and only now getting to grips with school - tbh she would honestly be happier at home with me i think!! (but she's always been clingier!)

The only person I know with regrets is also someone who didn't defer, and she went on to defer her younger ds several years later.

As a secondary teacher, I think it is a good idea. At 11/12 I think it especially applies to boys ime, but the kid who hasn't done their homework/has forgotten their folder/goes to the wrong classroom all the time - that almost always an 11.5 rather than a 12.5 year old. They also cope much better with the change to a more independent style of learning.

I'm so glad I don't live in England, where there really is no choice! One of my friends has a ds 5 months younger than dd1, who started school a whole year before she did!!

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I deferred my DS1 (5) and am glad we did. We have now decided to HE until he is at least 7. My HV told me she wishes she had deferred her now 6 year old DS.

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I defered my dd and it was the best decision definately.

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I don't know anyone who's regretted it.

Mine didn't get bored by the extra year - the nursery they went to had a large % of deferring pupils and is closely linked into the school so they did "school-lite" a bit. It was also helped by the fact it was a bilingual nursery leading into Gaelic-medium education therefore they had a lot to do language wise, which probably kept them more involved.

I don't really regret not deferring dd2 - I just have to keep reminding myself that chronologically she is 9 months younger than the other 2 were at any stage. She has also been affected by her temporary physical disability (was in a wheelchair for 2 years - now gone!) which I think tended to "baby" her a bit.

Just for the record mine are now 10y2m, in Primary 5, 8y2m and in Primary 3, and 6y4m in Primary 2.

Non-scottish people on here (from elsewhere in the UK - not form continental Europe etc) are always a bit at how old they are for the year they are in - you're not going to find many 8 year olds in Year 2!

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Christiana - yes that is part of it, her best friend is a week older than her and is going to school, it would break her heart if her friends went to school and she didn't. DD2 was upset she didn't get to go last year with DD1 she would never forgive me for deferring her! She has been telling me she wants to go to school since her 4th birthday in January. I have went with her individually, I feel she is ready to go to school, she is picking up DD1's books and teaching herself to read. I think another year at nursery would bore her.

However, I think having a sibling in P1 already is one of the reasons she is so keen to go, DD1 would have struggled at 4.5yo so I would have deferred her.

I would prefer them all to have another year at nursery not just DD2.

Yes, year 2 is the same as Primary 3. We moved south from Glasgow last August and instead of going into P3 our son went into Year 2. Children can have their 4th birthday in August and start school, they go into Reception here instead of P1, the following week. The eldest kid in my son's class 7 y, 6m.

Sorry, also meant to say - I don't know anyone who has regretted deferring but I know a few who have regretted not deferring.
No-one knows your DD better than you so I would def go with your own gut instinct.

Wow - excuse my ignorance, but I was unaware that you could do this in Scotland. How incredibly sensible.

This may be completely irrelevant as I don't know anything about the Scottish Education system and it may be completely different, but at my (English) primary school, we have recently done a lot of data gathering about our children to find statistical trends about the gender, race, sex and age in relation to their academic achievements and have only found one trend. The children in the bottom 5% of children in the school were nearly all Summer born (hence the very youngest starting school at just over 4 years old). This was true throughout the school all the way up until 11 years old. The youngest children, who were made to start before they were old enough to cope, are largely not catching up.

This is scary for me. DS was 4 and 2 weeks when he started school and would have started school a whole year later had he not been born at 28 weeks. I feel he is being disadvantaged twice by being premature because we do not have the option to defer.

In your situation, I would defer. Children who are ready to learn will do so with your input whether at school or not. Those not ready will benefit so hugely from more play based learning that it is a good idea to wait, IMO.

I see I x-posted with a few more English people here..

lifeissweet - my DD1 would have started school at just over 4 if we had stayed in England, there is no way she would have been ready and would have really struggled.

The Scottish system is much better it is left up to the parents to decide whether their child is ready or not. Deferring is quite common for Jan/Feb birthdays and I completely agree that it depends on the individual child and no one knows them like their parents.

I have purposely TTC with the intent of having children who will be 5 when they start school for nos 3 and 4 i.e. we waited TTC to ensure at least a March birthday.