disciplinary warning letters in primary school

[theweasel]

My son Year 1 is being bombarded almost daily with warning letters to bring home. They inform me that he has done time out or been sent to a foster classroom for unacceptable behaviour such as talking, calling out answers, not sitting still for long learning periods. The school insists that parents sign the letters and return them within 48hrs to confirm that we have spoken to the child about their unacceptable behaviour. It feels like an extended punishment for my child and harrassment for me the parent. Its a newly implemented system at our school and is creating an ethos of fear and pressure among children and parents alike. These offence letters are also creating an official paperwork backed reputation for my son as a naughty boy. Actually he's very bright and bored. Are these letters common proceedure? Has anyone received torrents of letters and been successful in forcing the school to recognise the damage they cause?

are these paper trails anything to do with Ofsted? Is behavioural policy something schoools are assessed on?

sorry meant schoooooools

If the paper-trail is needed for presentation to governors/to support a referral then whilst that makes perfect sense I see no reason why the school couldn't e-mail them to you instead. It's environmentally friendly, avoids the self-esteem issue but still acts as a way of informing you of inappropriate behaviour on a daily basis.

One of the EBD schools I worked with used contact books as a way of sending home positive messages (so the children could be proud of them, would want to share them and wouldn't deliberately 'lose' or destroy them on the way home) and sent less positive messages home via telephone calls or e-mails. It's a strategy I like and have seen good results from.

Most recent incident letter reports...your child was sent to time out chair.He was asked to sit quietly and failed to do so.He was given a chance to correct his behaviour but chose not to. Please speak with your child about this then sign and return letter to show that you have done so.

They need to tell you why he was sent outside for time out in the first place. It makes you wonder who's at school doesn't it!

I would not like this. Agree that you need to know why he was sent to the chair - and more importantly does your son know why he was sent to the chair?

Flame shield at the ready:

Why can't he just behave? It's twice as annoying to have dc's in a class with a disruptive child than it is to be the parent of one.

I agree that letters need to go home to disruptive children as behaviour needs to be addressed in the home.

If teachers have to spend their time teaching basic standards of behaviour then education is going to suffer, If your dc was in my child's class I would be lobbying to have him removed. Two sides to every story and if one child is ruining the learning experience for the others then they have to be removed.

He knows he was sent there for talking. He was successfully quiet for a while but forgot to stay quiet he says. He started hitting himself and calling himself a bad boy when I talk to him about the letters.He talks to his worry people worried about being a bad boy forever.

God, I want to cry after reading that weasel, the poor thing.

I really do think you should find him another school that's more understanding and supportive. It doesn't sound to me as if he's mature enough to control himself and it's really damaging his self esteem. Try the book I suggested.

i read that as he was sent to the time out chair because he was asked to sit quietly and failed to do so, even after a warning. (not that he was sent to the time out chair for an un-named offence and then did not sit quietly etc etc)

so i think the not-sitting-quietly was the offence, not a continued description iyswim.

it sounds like the sort of thing which you would have signed up to at the beginning of the year tbh 'students are required to behave in the following manner. if they fail to do so they will be asked to correct their behaviour. if they still fail to do so they will be a) sat on the naughty chair b) a letter will be sent to parents. if behaviour persists parents will be invited into school to discuss with teacher. ' etc etc ad infinitum. it'll be listed as a Good Thing in school policy - ie we work closely with parents to manage difficult behaviour etc etc

although if any of mine had come home with a letter like that, i'd have said 'why weren't you sitting quietly?' and given them rock all.

but like i said earlier - it is his behaviour that is causing the problem - he has been assessed and the ed psych (presumably) has come up with some guidelines which seem to be yielding some results in some areas. you need another meeting with the senco and teacher/ ht to discuss behaviour, as the esteem guidelines don't seem to be improving his ability to behave in an appropriate manner in class.

(i'm not being critical btw - it's never great to acknowledge your child has behaviour issues - but i'm a firm supporter of those with additional needs of whatever sort (including behavioural) getting the help they need to learn coping strategies. for their own education's sake, and the sake of their peers.

like alouiseg says, the next step is other parents going into the school saying 'we are worried about our children's education because it is being continuously disrupted by weaslet. (my answer usually is to co-opt these parents and ask them to go in and complain so that you have additional ammunition for getting your son the help he needs etc etc.) but i have to say that's usually reserved for slightly more extreme behavioural difficulties than talking in class lol

but he does need some more help lol.

Thanks for the book suggestion FluffyBun. I've visited 4 local schools in recent weeks. All have an incident letter systems but don't use it like this. One head described it as overly punitive and not age appropriate. One head teacher said that he would never regularly put a child into a foster classroom because it might lead to bullying.Unfortunately no available places at those schools at present. Gone onto waiting list.

Can you home ed until something comes up/go private? Look for somewhere nurturing, ds is at a church school, they are slightly off their tree but they like children and are really caring which has helped alot.

Private not do-able. Could home ed short term. Looking for nurturing school with nicer ethos. Church school here would be great, but over subscribed too.Friends with kids in church schools all happy because of tolerant and nurturing approach.

Try the book first before you do anything, I paid £8 from amazon so it's not expensive. It sounds like you have already decided to move him though if you've been looking at other schools though.

I am not sure why the head believes that they have to have a paper trail of what is minor misbehaviour for the governors. Quite frankly it is nothing that the governors will be involved with, it is a day to day management issue, which is the provence of the headteacher.

The only time that this would have any relevance for governors is if the head is building a case for exclusion. However the incidents reported are not appropriate for exclusion, so I am at a loss to explain.

Admission, funny you should mention that. Today he's been temporarily excluded. He hurt another boy through playing too roughly.Guideline from above, school running scared. I wonder if Admission's comment has a bearing in hat hey are preparing for exclusion?

oops typo error, nothing to do with hats or hey

Goodness weasel!!

What's he like at home?

haven't read the interim posts but I am sad to hear that the school and classroom teachers don't have a more positive strategy or a long term plan to foster a better relationship with your son. reading from just your op, I'd want to remove him from that school and find a more child friendly one. and i am a teacher, of secondary, albeit. my dd is in reception and some of the more lively children have to my knowledge become more settled without this kind of ineffective strategy.

I think the issue here is that the letters are form letters, & unhelpful. Most children might receive one/two/a few over their primary school career, be ticked off by a parent & amend their behaviour.

It's clear from the blizzard of letters & regular time-out etc, that ds is causing substantial disruption quite routinely AND that the school don't have an effective strategy to deal with his behaviour.

I'd agree with earlier poster that most 5/6 year olds are perfectly capable of behaving appropriately; & 'bright but bored' isn't an excuse, although it might be an avenue to explore - is he genuinely working above expectation? If so, the onus is on school to stretch him - but I'd want to see evidence.

You need a meeting with form & head teacher where you discuss ds's behaviour issues & agree a strategy. It's got to be about you working with the school - not them sending pointless snotty letters & you refusing to accept that the problem exists.

FluffyBun. Just delightful at home and at outside activities. Think alternative school with better ethois is the answer. Ps. My mum is a retired primary ead teacher who is appaulled and says 'get him out'

All children at some stage get a little rough when they are playing, it does end in tears and a bump, there's really no need to temporarily exclude a child for this, it's far to over the top. Did they go into details about what happened?

The thing that puzzles me is the OP's reaction. I'd react really differently. On receipt of ONE disciplinary letter, there would be tears. There would be high drama. There would be serious talkings too. There would be hushed discussions around the family. There would be all manner of neurotic over-reactions.

I'm not saying that my (imagined) reactions are healthy - far from it. But I'd be focussing on the horror of my child's bad behaviour rather than the school having a bad policy. For me, how the school treats the issue would be utterly irrelevant compared to the primary issue of why my child was serially misbehaving. That's the key issue, I think.

Also, by focussing on the school's policy rather than the child's behaviour, you are supporting the child's misbehaviour IYSWIM. Time to address the key issue.

RavenAk.I have a good dialogue with the school and cooperate with the measures put in place by them (IEP)so I can appreciate the problems that they deal with. What I don't understand is why they have to keep notifying me in writing of what I already know and in doing so cause social, psychological damage by insisting on sending out these letters like public notices. I already know there is a problem. It merely adds to anxiety for all of us.