Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Getting your child school ready

62 replies

giveitago · 05/03/2010 09:15

Any advice for me? Ds starts reception this Sept and I'd love to know how to really get your lo ready?

ie he still cannot dress himself so what happens at PE or swimming?

How do I get ds to dress himself - it's very frustrating.

He can't use a knife but it's never worried us to date as the food he eats only requires a fork or fingers. But I think I'd better start so he doesn't stand out.

Any other things I'll need to get 'done' as when I look at him right now I cannot imagine him at school - he'll be just over 4 when he starts.

Your experiences will be most welcome.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/03/2010 09:21

Not sure about in the UK, but when my dd started school (2.8) her uniform was shorts and a t.shirt. The same uniform was used later in the school for PE. On swimming days, she went in with her costume under her clothes and the nursery kids were scheduled as first in the pool. When they got out, they'd walk back to the class, shed their costumes and get dressed with the help of the three TA's and one teacher. It was a hugely well resourced school, so not in england.
I would concentrate on dressing and toiletting independantly.
I am sure you'll get more replies.

AMumInScotland · 05/03/2010 09:28

Its worth starting to get him to dress himself - it's very frustrating at first because it can take them ages, but you have to give him time and space to do things even though it takes longer, as that's how they learn it.

Focus on easy clothes though - you can usually get school uniform items which are pretty easy for small ones - trousers with elasticated waist so they just pull up, polo shirt so no need for fiddly buttons etc, shoes with velcro fastenings. You'll probably find he can manage those things ok, even if he doesn't do it very fast he'll learn that eventually.

Knowing he needs the loo, and feeling confident to ask to go, then managing on his own.

Also being able to manage his food - probably have to carry a tray, eat the food without too much mess, or manage his lunchbox 0 opening juice cartons etc.

yellowcircle · 05/03/2010 09:33

They will certainly make allowances for the fact that he is one of the youngest in the year.

I'd try one item of clothes at a time - ie he can put the pants on and you'll do the rest and build it up slowly. My DS also starts rec in sept, he will be a little older than your DS, but he is still 3 atm.

purepurple · 05/03/2010 10:05

After many years of caring for pre-school children and after consultations with reception teachers, this is what teachers would expect your child to be able to do on starting school:-

  1. to be able to put on their own coats and shoes at the very least. If they can dress and undress would be even better. They should also be able to recognise their own belongings.

  2. to be able to wipe their own bottoms and wipe their own noses.

3)to be able to follow simple instructions

  1. to be able to eat with a knife and fork and drinking out of a cup without spilling it

  2. to be able to recognise their own name

  3. to be able to use scissors correctly

  4. to be able to play with other children

  5. to be able to wave goodbye to mum/dad/etc without sobbing inconsolably for 20 minutes every day

  6. to understand the word 'no'

  7. to not smirk or laugh when being told off

In short, you are trying to build their independence and resilience
I am sure that there will be others who disagree with what I have said. That's the nature of looking after children. we all have different expectations and experiences.

giveitago · 05/03/2010 10:54

The dressing one - he can put on pants and trousers - but not tops, coats or shoes. Will work on.

Most of what purple says he can do but dressing is a nightmare and he'd never carry a tray - his motor skills have never been his strong point.

But great for all these tips - I'm going to start work on em right away!

Whatever he doesn't acheive I'm hoping he'll pick up fast from the other kids.

OP posts:
maisiestar · 05/03/2010 11:18

I want to just add that I love picking up my reception age DS on PE days as they are all running about with jumpers, tops etc on the wrong way round and all over the place, all completely oblivlious to it all, and it it just underlines that lovely stage of fledging independence. I hope he enjoys school.

Builde · 05/03/2010 11:21

You will probably find that all these things he can't do at home he will be able to do at school. Peer pressure etc.

And a four year old will defintely be able to get themselves dressed (even if everything isn't the right way round).

My 2.5 year old can dress herself (in a slightly erratic manner) but my 5 year old still likes to have help if her parents are around.

purepurple · 05/03/2010 11:23

The dressing one is often the thing that parents and children find difficult. We are all busy and it seems easier to just do it for them.
I have introduced mini PE lessons into the pre-school where I work.
The children bring in a PE kit and once a week they get to practise getting dressed and undressed. They then have a mini physical play session.
The teachers at the local schools have all said how much the children have benefitted from it.
At first, they do struggle with getting changed. But we gradually help less and less, with lots of encouragement, until they can do it themselves. We also teach them to make sure that they put all of their clothes back in their back, so they don't lose them. Have you ever seen the lost property box in an infant school? It's full of PE kit and odd plimsolls!
We also have lots of donated school uniform for the dressing up box, that the children love to play in. This has been especially useful for schools that have proper shirts with buttons instead of polo shirts.
Anyway, you have loads of time before he starts school.

UniS · 05/03/2010 20:47

how to get them to dress them self....
it takes awhile.
pick days when you are in no rush, reallly really no rush.
start out with laying items out so they are easy to get into. Talk child through how they do it, sit back and watch, to start with you will need to talk them through again and again and reset items they get frustrated with.

I realised my lad COULD dress him self despite his protest that he couldn't, when he came down stairs at a friends house in the host childs pyjamas. From then on its just been learning how to do tricky things like socks and getting T-shirts and pant the right way round.

any one got any clues on getting the blighters to wipe own bum properly?

JackBauer · 05/03/2010 21:01

DD1 started nursery unable to dress herself. Or so I thought.
I always put her in trackies, tshirt and cardy type uniform on gym day but after a few weeks I asked her teacher how much help they were giving her.
'Oh, DD1 is great, gets herself dressed and undressed no problem, she just gets muddled with ehr shoes'
I was the little madam. A YEAR later and she is just starting to properly dress herself at home
Start just putting the top over his head and then leaving him and getting him to put his arms in himself.

Re wiping bums, get them to stand legs apart and bend their knees really low, then reach around the back. DD1 bends so low her head is nearly on the floor but she gets the job done which is the important bit.

As others have said though, peer pressure is a good thing at this age, they will want ot do what their friends can do/are doing and even if he starts unable to do somethings he will elanr fast. the ones who are 'better' at practical stuff in DD's class are all the ones with older siblings AFAIK as they have seen it at home.

UniS · 05/03/2010 23:11

thankyou, will try bum wiping standing, currently aiming for sitting, wipe once from each side.

Clary · 06/03/2010 12:43

Re dressing himself - start with pyjamas, the easiest things IME.

Give him a sticker each time he manages them on in the evening and off in the morning. He really does need to be able to get dressed after PE (not swimming until a lot older in state school anyway) and put his coat on.

Also knife and fork, yes start to practise now if he will be having school dinners.

DOn't worry too much tho, the staff will be aware of his age and make allowances.

Also he MUST be able to manage in the loo - wiping bum and washing hands. Those are the main things really.

If he can't dress himself yet then I would concentrate on that above things like scissors that purpurple mentions - I have certainly known plenty of children in FS2 who can't cut out. It's less important than the personal care.

1Littleboy1Bigboy · 06/03/2010 14:11

Reception help list:
The summer before my August born boy went to school we started practising on preparation ? here is my list of helpful hints!

Velcro shoes ? unless they can do laces up with no help and very quickly

Find out which days P.E is on and on those days don?t button up the polo shirt ? with a jumper on over the top it won?t be noticed anyway!

Personal care ? ensure can wash hands, sort clothing out. My son couldn?t wipe his own bottom and so I ensured he got into a ?routine? of doing one before bed so I knew he wouldn?t run into difficulties at school.

Put half a smiley face in each shoe so that when they are placed together the correct way round they form one big happy face ? helps to get the shoes on the correct feet.

Practice with a lunchbox and different wrappings. I realised that I just hand my son a plate of food (as does nursery) and so he never had to undo anything!. He found a zipped lunch box easier than a velcro one.

He found cling film to fidderly and so I get cheap food bags and put his sandwiches in them and wrap them over. He then puts all his left over?s in the bag so the lunch box comes back in a decent state! Put a slit in the top of packets so they tear open easily or open them and fold them over and seal with a sticker (children can ALWAYS get a sticker off things!).

Fromage frais makes less mess than runny yogurt. Don?t forget to pack a spoon.
Sport top on bottles easier than screw tops or cartons (it all comes home in the lunch box so think of less spillage)

Label everything unless you don?t want it back. I got some really good stickers printed with just our surname on so all the family could use them for different things. They are dishwasher proof too.

Small icepack for the summer.

Some foods are not allowed in lunches so check with the school.

Before my (very young and clumsy)son had school dinners I brought a tray plate (from boots) that the food gets put directly on as that is what they use in school so he could practice carrying it to the table without dropping it. (was terrified he would drop it at school and everyone would laugh).

If they are a very small or slow eater don?t give them too much otherwise they will spend their whole lunch break eating and not outside playing. Some schools insist they eat everything. Just take a snack for on the way home if they are hungry.

Elasticated skirts and trousers to make it easier to get on/off.

If there is a 'school' coat, and it's not compulsory DON'T BUY ONE. If 30 children all have an identical coat it's a nightmare to sort them out.

Show your child how to hang their coat on a peg, using the loop. Otherwise the coat will live on a muddy cloakroom floor.

Tie something distinctive on your child's bookbag and PE bag, so they can recognise their own among many identical ones - a keyring or something is ideal

Putting his clothes back on when they are inside out and back-to-front (ie as they'll be after he's taken them off after PE). My DS could dress himself so it never occurred to me that his clothes were always presented in a nice "sanitised" manner

Some children found the sheer noise and busy environment very stressful when they first start school and I wasn't prepared for that with my son who found lunchtimes in the hall with a hundred or so other children all chattering, clanking cutlery, scraping chairs and clinking plates really intimidating and scary.

Not much you can do (unless you have a massive home and a hundred children to invite round) but by going to busy places with him beforehand and telling him that school might get noisy sometimes but it's nothing to be worried about he will at least be able to remember your words when faced with increased hustle and bustle.

My son was sometimes a bit nervous about going in and ?being alone? all day without me, so I filled his pocket with ?kisses? and told him to reach in for one if he felt a bit sad. At nearly 7yrs he still asks for them if going somewhere new (eg Beavers for the first time)

sarararararah · 06/03/2010 16:07

1littleboy1bigboy as a Reception teacher I 100% salute you! I am going to print your list off and include it in our home visit packs for next year (if that's ok with you!). What lucky boys you have

myhandslooksoold · 06/03/2010 17:54

1Littleboy1Bigboy Fab Advice!! I was going to post but you have done the job extremely well! I wholeheartedly second you.

The only other thing I would add is does he go to a preschool now? My DS and DD went to the nursery attached to a school (not the school they went to) and that really helped them. Even if it is just for 1 term it will help the transition easier.

OP you are a good mummy for thinking about these things in good time for Sept- your DS will be very well prepared.

Finally, kids grow up so so much in the few months before school it is amazing.

giveitago · 06/03/2010 19:19

1LIttleboy

OMG - I'm going to start on this now.

School has no dress code so he's been elasticated joggers and the toilet thing will not be an issue at all.

Feeding - well I'm hoping he'll have school dinners just to get him eating more stuff - so should be interested.

Loving the smileys on the shoes - so brill. will start on that now.

Must concentrate on the dressing part.They start swimming in reception so that too will be interesting! I'm sure he can do all this stuff but he's quite lazy and I think I've encouraged that.

Oh, and if you don't mind I'm going to fill my ds's pockets with kisses as well - that's sooooo lovely.

H

OP posts:
Lotster · 06/03/2010 19:37

What a great thread, my August boy starts this year too and he'll be so young for the year, I'm worrying..

Not only that but the schools he applied for aren't relevant any more as we have to move counties - great timing! So whichever school he will end up at I shall be using all of these fab tips, thanks!

Love the smiley face in the shoes tip btw, but surprised teachers expect littlies to be able to use scissors though. He probably can, as he's at pre-school but it's something we never do at home.

1Littleboy1Bigboy · 06/03/2010 19:46

sarararararahv - please do!! have to confess that a couple of suggestions i got off of here when my ds started school too. I copied and pasted them all into a document folder as i knew others would need tips along the way. If i read another good tip i add it to my folder.

feedthegoat · 06/03/2010 19:52

I've just started a sticker chart to encourage ds with reception in september in mind.

I'm sure outright bribery will be frowned on but that is pretty much what I have done . I've been giving him weekly pocket money for the last couple of months if he achives his sticker amount. We've been to build a bear to spend his money today!

It has worked though. In the last few weeks he has managed to put on and take off his own pants, vest, top, trousers and coat. This comes from a starting point of screaming and crying that he just can't do it.

I know it's not every ones cup of tea but it has kept him focused and on the plus side I suppose it's teaching him to save the small amounts of money he gets for something he really wants. Thats my justification anyway .

thirdname · 06/03/2010 19:56

ha-ha, dc2 (6 y) doesn't/can't wipe her bum, but "she doesn't do poos in school" (so she says, she can''t use a knife (at least not at home, she does have school dinners). dc1 (9y) always has a disgusting nose when I pick him up.
But,,,dc3 (3y old) can do all the above (most of the time)

Lotster · 06/03/2010 19:58

Feedthegoat - when I said in my parenting class recently that I felt I got everything done through threats and bribery; I was told to refer to it as "rewards and incentives", and that it was fine and everyone does it!

feedthegoat · 06/03/2010 20:35

I'll tell myself that then Lotster, sounds better than bribery!

Rebecca41 · 06/03/2010 20:43

I haven't read whole thread, but can I just add that 6 months is a lifetime away for this age-group. I really wouldn't force any issues now for the sake of school, you've got loads of time between now and then. DS1 refused to dress himself at all, nothing, just kept saying he'd do it when he was 4. And lo and behold, the day after his 4th birthday (late August), he dressed himself!

Incidentally, I deferred his school start till January, because I felt he wasn't emontionally ready for it. It was the best thing I did, for sure.

cosysocks · 07/03/2010 08:45

my ds going to start reception in sept so am def taking lots of tips.
He is 4 and can dress himself but bum wiping is an issue!
I will be filling his pockets with kisses.

olivo · 07/03/2010 09:13

this thread is really, really helpful, my DD1 will also only just have turned 4 when she starts school in September. SHe can dress herself but is not the best at wiping her bum after a poo!i know from nursery that she can mangae her own lunchbox but my worry is the flipping thumbsucking - i just can't get her out of it, but as i know that she only really does it now when she is tired, nervous or scared, i kind of want to let her carry on for a bit.

I had a tear in my eye at 'pockets filled with kisses' , that is just gorgeous!