Getting your child school ready

[giveitago]

Any advice for me? Ds starts reception this Sept and I'd love to know how to really get your lo ready?

ie he still cannot dress himself so what happens at PE or swimming?

How do I get ds to dress himself - it's very frustrating.

He can't use a knife but it's never worried us to date as the food he eats only requires a fork or fingers. But I think I'd better start so he doesn't stand out.

Any other things I'll need to get 'done' as when I look at him right now I cannot imagine him at school - he'll be just over 4 when he starts.

Your experiences will be most welcome.

Filling his pocket with kisses is one of the sweetest things I have ever read. I will definitely be doing that with DS when he starts school in September.
My DS can do most stuff but bum wiping is an issue. At his nursery they are starting to get him to wipe his own bum so he can get used to it but he always comes home with dirty pants. My DD (7) never poos at school so perhaps DS won't either. (I'm hoping anyway!)
I like the half a smiley face idea for the shoes as well - DS has problems with getting his shoes on the right feet.

Oh one thing I do with my DD is put a little tissue in her lunch box for her to wipe her mouth after she has eaten. I also put her lunch in a tupperware box before putting it in her lunch bag and made sure she knew to put her rubbish back in the box to avoid mess everywhere.

Brilliant advice on here. My dd started school in September, only just 4 and the youngest in the school. I think they get the hang of things pretty quickly once they see the other children doing stuff. Love the kisses in the pocket thing!

My dd goes to school in Sept so finding this thread very useful. Thankfully she can wipe so no issues there. Shoelaces I'm working on but clearly velcro is the way forward. As for the kisses thing -this may be a daft question but are they pretend or do you actually make/draw something with a 'X' on it and put them in their pockets?

don't make a big deal of it. 'Going' to school gives the child the impression that he's going and never coming back - make damn sure they understand that they're coming home!

Don't refer to school as 'big school' or anything like that. I said to Ds1 it was nursery for older boys and girls.

your attitude is very importnat. Make sure you are super friendly with other mums. Just go up to someone and introduce yourself. if your child sees you being gregarious - they will copy.

Don't worry too much about getting dressed - they always have parent helpers for the first few PE sessions.

Ditto toileting. Help is always available. If you have serious worries, make sure you've made an appointment with the teacher in the term before school starts to discuss it.

Lucnhtime can be terrifying. find out what the lunch arrangements for reception are. a good school will have them in 20 mins before the rest of the school so that the teachers and dinner ladies can help them, and so the noise of the whole school doesn't freak them out. a packed lunch with familiar food may be best.

Your schoolbag should have a clean set of clothes. make sure your child and the teacher are aware that they're there!

Label everything up at the collar/waistband. Get quality labels and stitch them on.

Get shoe labels as well.

Some children find the order of dressing intimidating, and don't know where to start - you could take a picture of each item of clothing (or use a clip art cartoon) and stick them in the correct sequence onto a card they can use at home to practice, and in their PE bag if they want to. Although once they get there, as Goldberry said, tey'll soon watch the others and catch on!
Quite a few children have a small pack of wet wipes in their PE/book bag to use for wiping bottoms.
Also it's always useful to pack PE bags/book bags/lunch box with your child, so they know what is in there, as some children can become anxious about that (if you have the time on a manic morning of course!!).
If your children have a fruit snack, make sure they can peel it themselves, and eat it in 5-10 minutes - bananas are always popular, especially if you teach them to split tem at the bottom instead of the top to peel - much easier that way!!
Lots of people have said naming things, if your child has a drawstring PE bag, make sure the name is at the bottom, not the top, as you'd be surprised how many get labelled where you can't see the name when the string is drawn! Similarly to someone who said if the school sells coats, don't buy one, don't buy a school PE bag unless you have to, and if you do, pin a brightly coloured badge on it so they can spot it amongst all the others.
Above all, I agree with Highlander - your attitude will ensure your child is relaxed and happy - some things will go wrong, but that's OK - it's all a learning process! I'm sure your little one will be fine and have a great time! Good luck!

toilet train

teach to dress self quickly

that's it

You have bags of time,, just start slowly and dont make a big deal about it,,it will be fine,he wont be the only one,why not, start laying out his clothes the night before,and leaving him to it the next day and see how it goes.

They are pretend kisses in pocket. Kiss lots of times into your hand, let them see you put them in their pocket. Get them to put their hand in to "feel" them and then they know they are "there"

Yep some help pre school and all the los need kisses in the pockets- I just love that and I've told ds and he wants his pockets full of them.

Oh - great thread with great tips.

There is such good advice on this thread! My dd is in reception and it turns out I need not have stressed as much as I did about her inability and reluctance to wipe her own bottom - she told me the other day that when she needs a poo at school she takes a friend with her so that they can check her bottom is clean once she has wiped it!

I have found that I worried unnecessarily about many other things - in the end, dd was so excited and keen about starting school she really wanted to do things for herself and I am amazed by how much she has grown in independence and confidence since September.

Sew a large loop of cotton tape to the coat / jumper etc makes it so much easier for little fingers to hang on coat pegs.

Ooh, one I have just thought of - don't think it has been mentioned:

Teach your child to stuff their hat/scarf/gloves into the sleeve of their coat when they hang their coat up - stops them from getting lost and reminds dc to put them back on when they go out to play as they automatically find them when they put their coat back on!

Highlander I think your list is great but I have to say, "they always have parent helpers for the first PE sessions" is not my experience!

I am a parent helper in an FS2 class and have helped the pupils get ready for PE and there should be a TA but it is certainly expected that the children will get themselves dressed.

Some are slower than others and many need help (eg with tights, jumpers inside out etc) but please don't be expecting a barrage of willing hands. Most likely to be 2 or 3 adults with 30 children.

Ditto the loo tbh. Tho I agree if your child has major issues then let the teacher know.

Also I've never known anyone send in spare clothes each day (or need to). School will have spares in case of (infrequent IME) emergency.

This is all very helpful and reassuring. I really think I know the answer to this one, but... is it in any way important that my dd can write her name or do any other formal literacy things? I am a bit intimidated at the moment by how many of my friends' children seem to be able to write loads (can't be sure if copying or independent). dd not all that interested in that. Loves stories, tells her own when "reading" books, draws people, cuts and sticks endlessly, lots of imaginative play. I have found the lack of reference to stuff like this reassuring really, but will it help her to be able to correctly write letters before she starts, is it unhelpful, or just a neutral skill that should be encouraged if an interest is shown? And loves pre school but not any other activities where I leave her to it, eg tunbletots, ballet.

littlebylittle - I too wonder about this side of things... my son can just about write his name (they practise at nursery most weeks) but a friend of mine recently said that it would help if he knew his alphabet before starting shool. He knows some of the letters but not all by a long shot.

It is good you are being prepared, however I really wouldn't worry if I was you. My son started reception last september as the youngest in the class with only one weeks notice! (we moved from Scotland to England at very short notice, they start school later in Scotland) I hadn't thought of doind any sort of preparation as I thought he would have a full year more of nursery when I could work on all the things he couldn't do. He couldn't draw a simple stick person, couldn't recognise a single letter on the alphabet except his initial, wipe his bum, use a knife and fork etc.etc etc (was very good with a pair of scissors though!)

6months on and he copes well with school dinners (always asks for more!) can read a simple book and comes home from PE in HIS OWN clothes. Nothing about school seems to faze him.
I think not having any time for me to worry meant he never thought about worrying himself!

littltbylittle, I won't lie, it is helpful if they can write their own name when they start because then they can label their own work.

But don't worry, masses cannot and the TA or teacher will do it for them! You'll be amazed at how quickly they pick it up tho.

In a way it is helpful if they can write their own name, but in a way it isn't if they have learned to write it incorrectly (starting letters at the bottom, that type of thing) and they then have to relearn it.

Don't worry AT ALL about them knowing letters / sounds etc before they start. If they can do all the other stuff, mentioned further up the thread then that is FAR more helpful than knowing a few sounds. It is the teachers' job to teach them to read, it could be argued it's not really their job to teach them to get dressed, wipe their bottom etc!

littlebylittle if she "Loves stories, tells her own when "reading" books, draws people, cuts and sticks endlessly, lots of imaginative play" then that sounds perfect and when the time comes to learn the more formal stuff she will fly.

I have to agree that you should not worry about the formal stuff. Having the basic social skills (including practising things like turn taking, sharing, listening in a group, etc as well as dressing, toileting, eating etc) is far more important.

I would say it is better to be curious, interested, excited, enjoy new things, etc than to be 'hot housed' and then 'turned off' to learning.

Schools often have a specific way to teach letters (e.g. letter sounds not names and often more precise letter sounds 'mmmm' not 'meh') and similarly specific letter formation for handwriting especially lower case when appropriate not capital letters through out. If you put a lot of effort / pressure into teaching these things the child can end up at school having to relearn things.

Having a love of books, being read lots of stories to, knowing that where you start to read and how to handle books will all help children learn to read.

Once your child starts school then you can support your child in learning what the school is teaching but don't worry too much. Having a good rest, having fun, having a rich vocabulary of experiences due to lots of fun activities, visits, games, day to day activities is much more important than doing formal activities.

My DS1 is going to school in September as well. He is a July birthday boy and knowing what girls especially Autumn term born girls can do I am quite worried. He also has a speech delay so does not talk that much at pre-school and when he does is very hard to understand. I spoke to the reception class teachers about summer born boys when I visited the schools and most responded with 'we are very used to summer born boys - don't worry!'.

How is the school you want going to settle them in? My preferred school has the youngest in first for mornings only so that they can focus on this very small group for a week to help them learn all the routines and social skills needed. They gradually introduce the older children who then go full time first until the youngest go full time last. I thought this was a lovely way of doing things but not the same in all schools.

As a reception teacher, I want the new children in my class to be able to

wipe their own bottoms, (personally this is an essential!!) It's great for boys to be able to use a urinal- rope in dads, uncles, grandads etc for this!

undress and dress themselves as much as possible,

listen to a story (which means they can then listen to a teacher!!)

leave their parent/carer happily (ish!)

recognise their own name,

play with other children (I want to write "share" but having my own 4 year old DD starting school in September, know that is optimistic!! )

If a parent can take care of getting their child ready socially for school, the teacher can take care of the academic side. If a child comes into my class happy, interested, curious and wanting to be there, then success will follow.

Oh, and there's 7 months to go- that's a lifetime (if they're only just 4, that's nearly a quarter of their life, near enough!)

On a completely different note, I would say read him the book "Starting School" by Janet and Allan Ahlberg. It is fabulous. Lovely text and beautiful, detailed illustrations. It's witty, poignant, encouraging, helpful, reassuring. Just wonderful.

Some great advice!

Only thing I'd add, is to not try to 'teach' the alphabet/reading/writing - every other mum I know is doin so and probably scaring the living daylights out of their DC! A lot are teaching letter names (instead of the sounds)and upper case letters, which will just confuse your DC and possibly worry them that they're stupid for 'doin it wrong' when they get taught different at school - you won't look too clever in your DS's eyes either!

As your DS is going to be one of the youngest, you could think of it as a positive thing - as some parents I know do - that he's going to be doing things earlier than an autumn born, who might be a bit younger than him, but a whole year behind in school terms! Hope that makes sense!

You could also try to reassure him that school won't expect him to be as good at everything as some of his classmates, cos they're older than him.

Also, definitely velcro shoes and plimsoles - not the stretchy elastic ones (awful to put on/off).

Frubes (put into lunch box frozen) then defrost by lunchtime are good alternative to yoghurt in a pot.

Can't think of anything else - except, maybe buy slightly larger socks than normal (as an ex teacher, I've seen so many kids struggle with what looked like too small socks - especially after swimming!)

Oh also tell him he's not expected to know all the answers - some kids seem to be terrified that they don't know the answer to every question.

and if you think he is showing an interst in letters and you want to encourage him, (or if it would reassure you!), ask his school how they teach phonics (letter sounds).

If they do Jolly Phonics you could get a Jolly Phonics book from a bookshop/Early Learning Centre or another phonics workbook.

Or they might give you a guide on how to pronounce the letter sounds (best to check even if you think you know, cos they keep achanging!).

But don't try to do too much - it really can backfire and put them off learning if done before they're ready, even if you get it right! If he's keen, then a little might give him confidence.

Teaching reading and writing has now become a complicated business in school (due to government meddling) so best leaving the real nitty gritty to them - and ask for advice on how to help once he's started.

Numbers, on the other hand, aren't so tricky to get wrong! However, still don't stess, but just maybe start pointing out and counting groups of objeccts and maybe write the corresponding number down and he may want to trace it with his finger/a pencil.

He'll probably be getting more than enough of 'school work' from preschool, at his age, I'd prefer to see him have a childhood, so don't stress you or him too much!

Wallace, what if the child isn't socially ready? This is the thing I'm most worried about. My DD is September born, so she'll be one of the oldest, but she's very small for her age, and has spent most of the last year in hospital. She's never been to pre-school or any activity where I left her to get on with it, because we've had to be careful to avoid picking up infections. She hasn't got a clue how to behave with other children. Younger kids and babies are alright (she has a 2 yr old sister) but kids her own age and older she finds quite intimidating. She also finds the noise of a room full of doctors too much atm, so I really don't know how she'll handle a room full of noisy boisterous children!

Personal skills are a bit of an issue. She's been left with diarrhoea after an abdominal operation a couple of months ago. We have to very careful about keeping her bum clean, so she's not had the opportunity to do it herself (I'll be working on this over the summer). And she's still not tall enough to get onto the toilet by herself, even with a step, so that's another skill she's not got yet.

Pants and trousers she can manage (when she can be bothered!), but t-shirts are more tricky for her because she has rather a lot of tubes and pipework going on under her top. It also makes it hard for her to lean forward to put socks and shoes on (although she's very willing to try them).

On the positive side, she's great with numbers, can count well beyond 50, knows the number bonds to 12 and some up to 20. She knows the alphabet (sounds and names) and can write them all, along with her name, and a few other words. I'm fairly certain she'll be reading simple sentences before September because she's so curious to learn. And she's very proud of her new skill with a pair of scissors!

She also knows not only her own left and right, but also mine when I'm standing opposite her and characters' on tv when they are moving around! Now that can't be right! I'm sure I didn't know mine until I was around 7 or so. Even now I find myself subconsciously touching my thumb and ring finger on my right hand together like I'm gripping a pencil, as that was the only way I could remember them as a child!

If you are interested in teaching them the Alphabet then it is best to find out which method they use at the school your lo is going to.
I started teaching my dd Jolly Phonics only to be told that they didn't use it at the school she goes to. I think I confused her tbh.
My dd didn't know all her letters, certainly couldn't write them and wrote her name incorrectly (her nursery said that they were just happy that she was trying to write and that I shouldn't correct her).
She is doing just fine now despite all the 'help' I gave her. My ds is a July baby and starts in September too. I'm not really teaching him anything apart from trying to hold the pencil correctly. At the moment he is not sure whether he wants to be left or right handed so it's a bit tricky. I will try and be more patient when he tries to dress himself but it's a mare when we're in a rush!
I'm not actually worried about my ds as his social and listening skills are fine.