Should I speek to the teacher about this bossy little madam in my daughters class?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, My daughter is nearly 5 and has a friend of the same age who lives down the road. They are at school together, in the same class. This little girl is an only child like my daughter, and is a right little madam. She is alays saying to my daughter things like "I'm better than you", "I'm faster than you", "I'm cleverer than you" etc. Her mum says "Oh, she's so competetive", I feel like saying "Oh, is that what you call it". The little girl was also saying that "My dolls house is bigger/better than yors". She came to play yesterday with her mum. Her mum told me that because she's given up her dummy, she's got two new dolls and a nintendo DS? as a reward. The little girl was saying to my DD, "I've got twin dolls and you haven't". I then told the little girl that my dd had given up her blanket thing recently too. She got quite angry about this shouting/whining, "She didn't give up her blanket, she didn't" when I said "She did" she just said to my dd, "well I gave up my dummy before you gave up your blanket".
She then said to her mum, "I'm going to throw snow at Lucy!". The mum didn't say anything.
She's just such a spoiled little madam, and I'm concerned at that she might be harming my dd's confidence. She has speech problems and is delayed developmentally, but is the sweetest little girl you could meet. She is quite sensitive though. I worry when this friend of hers says things like "No one knows what you're saying".
I'm never sure what to say when she puts my dd down, as her mum dosn't seem to mind or say anything. I don't want my dd to think that I approve of her behaviour, or what she's saying either. It's quite awkward.
I'm not sure wether to have a word with the teacher and see what she's like at school with my dd. It is such a small class of only 9, I'm worried that there won't be much escape from her.
Also if you have any advice on what to do when she's putting my daughter down, when her mum's there, that would be good.
If she plays at mine on her own I can say that "Lucy won't want to play with you, if you aren't kind to her" etc.
I just think, of all the children who could've moved in down the road, it had to be her.

Unless your DD is getting upset you really don't want to say anything to the teacher. I'd make sure your DD plays out of school with the girls she does get on with. It may be that the dynamc is different in the classroom and I'm sure that with a class so small the teacher will be aware of what is going on. If things escalate you'll need to say something but not at the moment.

the university of Sunderland research is not well regarded as far as I"m aware - I'd suggest anyone contemplating the GF/CF diet do a lot more digging

the uni of Sunderland also did very spurious 'research' into eyeQ, which has come in for particularly scathing comment in the Guardian's Bad Science column, so just because research is done by a university doesn't mean it's robust

I was very impressed with the results of their work with my son

Gf/cf diet has had a massive effect on my ds, which was apparent within a week of starting it, and he has a very clear reaction when he accidently breaks it. To the extent that now he's able to talk about the effect that it has on him, and is extremely careful with what he eats because he hates the reaction so much.
I wish we'd done it sooner.

randomized controlled double blind trial showing no difference between diet and control group

and links to lots of different studies here

anecdotes aren't evidence

but this is all getting way off topic as mll's daughter has verbal dyspraxia - sorry mll!

I would ask the teacher if the girl does the same things at school (and possibly to other children). It would be useful for the teacher to know that the girl is a potential bully. The comment about your daughter's speech is bullying. Better to nip it in the bud now so things don't get worse for your daughter or other children. Don't invite the girl to your house and the parent should get the general idea that you are not happy wiht the child's behaviour. She does sound very insecure and unhappy but that is no reason to make your daughter feel upset. School at this tender age should be about teaching children how to respect each other. Bullying amongst girls (according to my husband who is a teacher) is difficult to spot in schools because girls are v sly about it! Boys just fight to get it out of their systems and that's easy to notice!! Keep up the good work, you sound like a lovely mum.