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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DS1 shouting out the answer and pre empting the teacher - please help

37 replies

oooggs · 07/12/2009 13:20

We are at our wits end. DS1 (turnes 6 on friday) is shouting out the answer in class. Teacher asks 10+10 and ds1 shouts 20 before another children has started to think

He is also pre empting the teacher we have no idea how to deal with this. The teacher is punishing him with removing 'golden time' she also stood him infront of the whole school last week to humiliate it out of him - its not working. She has been teaching a long time and does things her way.

What can we do? How can this be turned into a positive and chanelled?

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HumphreyCobbler · 07/12/2009 13:23

I used to give children like your son a whiteboard and pen to see if he could write down the answer, when another child answered we would look at the written one too. That stopped the more advanced child feeling left out and gave them something postitive to do.

Humiliating him - ffs.

Original poster

oooggs · 07/12/2009 13:36

I suggested the writing down this morning. She snapped at me that she could try this but the pre empting............

I feel like I have been told off

I went to see her as he is being bothered by the girl who he sits next to.

She smashed his head into the desk on Monday, threw mud and leaves in his hair on tues and pinched him on wed & thur

He is enthusastic (too much she thinks) and I don't want him being put off by being bored and bullied

Any ideas for what we can do at home? He has 3 younger siblings

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 07/12/2009 13:45

How can a child be too enthusiastic?

Make sure she tries the writing down thing. Go to the head if necessary.

Sorry don't quite follow what you mean by pre empting? Could you clarify?

RubberDuck · 07/12/2009 13:51

Hmm...

... surely there isn't anything you could do - short of sitting in on the lessons yourself. This should be part of the teacher's classroom management responsibilities (in loco parentis and all that, otherwise what's the bloody point of signing all those forms?!)

Obviously, support the school where you can and back the teacher up, but how does she seriously expect you to be able to help?

RubberDuck · 07/12/2009 13:52

(and from what you say about the girl he sits next to, it seems like she might need a refresher course in classroom management...)

MistletoeNoelPresents · 07/12/2009 13:55

Embarressing him, like that isn't going to make him a target for bullying.

I would seriously look at seeing the head and have a meeting as she isn't helping him and could ultimately cause him to become disinterested, then i'm sure she would also moan!

Original poster

oooggs · 07/12/2009 13:55

from what I gather she starts taling about dinosaurs and starts saying the triceatops has and James then says 3 horns

We are not pushy parents and don't 'teach' him things he just loves reading and learning. His reading level is above his years and when they start a new topic he wants to know as much as he can and has many books he can read.

We also have dts at 2.6 yrs and a 10 mth old and I am exhausted as I can't answer alot of his questions

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 07/12/2009 13:58

So he is knowledgable and enthusiastic and she sees this a bad behavior .

I have taught many children like your son and while they ARE challenging sometimes, so are all children in their ways. It is her job to manage his behavior so that he continues to feel confident and happy in school.

cat64 · 07/12/2009 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RubberDuck · 07/12/2009 13:59

I think it's really upsetting that you feel like you have to justify his enthusiasm I really do

My ds2 is like this (he's 5), and his teacher is really working hard to channel his enthusiasm and getting him to use appropriate behaviours in class to contribute. Occasionally he does go on 'red' (their traffic light behaviour system) for consistently not listening (another issue entirely!) but as far as I'm concerned that's between him and his teacher.

If she came to me wanting solutions to get him to pay attention and not mess around with his friends when he gets a bit silly, or how not to shout out answers I'd be completely bemused - how on earth would I be qualified to help?! It seems totally odd to me that this is being put on your shoulders.

See the head, I agree with the others.

MollieO · 07/12/2009 14:00

Do you mean not putting his hand up to answer? Ds does this all the time. I think it is for the teacher to work out what to do, not me as obviously he doesn't do it at home. I do talk to ds about it and explain how important it is to take turns.

RubberDuck · 07/12/2009 14:00

"he's always had brill teachers, and it's never been seen as a totally bad thing - always been mentioned alongside "but we don't want to curb his enthusiam" etc"

Absolutely - snap.

camaleon · 07/12/2009 14:00

Is it only this year?
Were you happy before with the school? If this is a problem with a single teacher I feel it is a different issue than a general problem with the school.

Humiliating someone in public (a 6 year old!!) is wrong in ANY case. But doing so because the child is too enthusiastic...

I believe it is important to back up the school and teachers particularly, because our kids spend many hours a day with them. If they cannot trust them,they will not feel really safe within the classroom. But in this case, the first thing (in my opinion) would be to let your child know that you are on her side. And that humiliating her in public is WRONG.

Then i will probably speak with the head about this.

camaleon · 07/12/2009 14:03

Sorry,
Did not notice.. It is a he not a she

Original poster

oooggs · 07/12/2009 14:16

I feel terrible and crying now, he is a star with is younger siblings

Bloody trying this parenting lark

yes happy with the school and he loves going just concerned that this may change before he finishes year 1

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WilfSell · 07/12/2009 14:33

I have a 10 yo who was like this, and I started off cross that the school were limiting him and forcing his pace to slow down etc.

He's now in year 6 and with some good teaching, he has gradually learnt actually that being the quickest with the answer and shouting it out isn't the only skill he needs to get on at school. We are very grateful that the school are also helping him to learn manners, consideration, social awareness of the different needs of others, respect for authority etc.

Because now he's about to hit secondary school, I absolutely DON'T want him to stick out because he's the smartarse. He is learning to be a social genius rather than a know-it-all. Not hiding his light under a bushel exactly, but remembering some modesty and knowing when it is appropriate to shout and how to tell the teacher when he thinks she is wrong.

I am SUCH a liberal namby-pamby that I could never imagine these words coming out of my fingers mouth when he was little. But your first born is used to being heard first, used to getting your full attention, used to being praised for being so very clever. Mine was. And so at school where they simply can't have such one on one attention it becomes very hard.

Balance is the key - a good working relationship with the teacher and strategies to keep him occupied (we always gently suggested they give our first born extra responsibilities in class - worked a treat), with gentle teaching that he needs to think about others, AND protect himself in social situations, while getting recognition for his skills. IME it gets easier if they group/stream later on, if there's a G&T programme and if you get good teachers who don't mind kids knowing more than them

RubberDuck · 07/12/2009 14:38

Don't fret too much (I know that it's hard not to).

I went through tons of stress with ds1 in year 1, because he and one of his teachers (a job share at the time) really didn't gel and I was terribly worried about the consequences to his education, especially with him enjoying going to school.

In the end we weathered it okay and then he had a fabulous teacher in Year 2 who just helped his confidence so much. Ds1 really started to shine in that year and has come on in leaps and bounds since (he's in Year 4 now, and still thinks fondly back to his Year 2 teacher).

So, it's not make or break. Do have a word with the head, but don't tie yourself in knots trying to 'fix' it.

Original poster

oooggs · 07/12/2009 14:43

I only said to DH this morning that we just need to get through year 1!!!

Then get dts through year 1!!!

Then ds3 through year 1!!!!

She doesn't change years and has taught some of the mums I stand with at the gate

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Adair · 07/12/2009 14:43

Gosh, the teacher needs some strategies. I usually do ' I know you know, Fred, let me ask someone else' (with a smile). Sometimes I will go to Fred and ask if it's right. Or I say 'no hands up, I am going to choose someone'. Would do this BEFORE asking I guess. Whiteboard idea a good one too. Or if really smartarse G&T, I might get them to read out my questions for me to avoid the situation.

Of course, you can try at home encouraging patience and letting siblings have a go first - but the school issue is not so major and needs to be dealt with in scool, by the teacher who is actually there (IMVHO).

Well done to your ds for being so clever .

Original poster

oooggs · 07/12/2009 14:47

I don't think he is G&T or that clever he is just a sponge and wants to learn.

If he was clever he would know no to call out as he isn't benefitting from it and it just gets him into trouble

OP posts:

cat64 · 07/12/2009 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Adair · 07/12/2009 15:39

No, Oooggs, he is clever for knowing the right answer! And I am sorry , I would most probably place him in the G&T bracket for differentiation in my class (ie work out how I could extend him/help him help others for example). G&T is (just) a label to help teachers include all pupils in the class...

It is the teacher's problem really - she needs to have a strategy to deal with him (that also acknowledges his eagerness).

JeffVadar · 07/12/2009 16:27

I won?t add anything to the excellent advice above, but I just wanted to say that my DS was exactly the same. She was only one teacher who couldn?t really deal with him, and she was very young and new to the job.

There isn?t really anything you can do at home; you can have a chat with him, but from my experience it won?t make much difference. On the more positive side, I don?t think that this brush with one grumpy teacher will do much to dampen your DSs enthusiasm.

For what it?s worth my teacher friend said that she loved having an enthusiastic child in her class. They tended to carry a lot of the other children along with them, and she always got a lot more covered in class as a result.

Don?t let this teacher?s attitude make you feel bad about your DS. And I hope the other (real) problem gets sorted out soon.

frogetyfrog · 07/12/2009 16:46

All very positive, but what about the poor other children in the class who dont get a chance to answer just because they are polite enought to wait and put their hand up. There are probably some children even quicker than your son, but not shouting out. Dont agree with humiliating any child and obviously the bullying from the little girl needs sorting. But surely your son needs to learn some patience and manners, and to recognise that his answer is not the most important one for the class to hear. Simply teaching him that other childrens answers and views etc are just as important as his own would surely be a massively positive thing rather than him continuing to think that he doesnt have to follow class rules simply because he is him.

Adair · 07/12/2009 17:13

Er Frogetyfrog, did you read my posts? There are ways to deal with the over-eager without humilating them - acknowledging them AND letting other children getting a word in...

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