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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

working parents - how do you get to all the daytime school meetings/assemblies etc?

99 replies

chuffinell · 22/09/2009 09:59

my dd is 4 and in reception class, but she has been at the school a year already, (was in nursery last year)its a lovely school ,very caring and nurturing and i love it

the only problem is they keep scheduling everything at times we are unable to attend - yesterday i was handed a letter inviting parents in at 2.45 this thursday to discuss reading methods and how to help your child. i desparately want to go, its so important but i cant just take time off willy nilly

i have already missed a 915 mass, and i have a list of other 9.15 assemblies, school plays, harvest celebrations, and they always finish term an hour earlier on the last friday of term

i desparately try, as does DH to attend as many school events as possible, but we cant do everything, and we both need to work, i really dont want DD looking round to find neither of us could make it into school, its so important to her

DH takes her into school so i can start work at 830 and make up enough hours to pick her up at 320. he has to work later to make up for his later starts

i wd be interested to hear how other working parents manage to attend all these events?

OP posts:

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Goblinchild · 22/09/2009 18:09

I don't, because whenever I say 'I'd love to come, but I need to bring the 31 children in my class. That's OK isn't it?' the answer is always no.
Quite handy for getting appointment times that you want though. I've never seen anything my children have done unless it was after school.
I'm going to be a fantastic grandmother though.

ChasingSquirrels · 22/09/2009 18:16

oh the other side of the coin - I love it that I have an excuse (ie work) not to have to go to events and can tell ds that I can't come as I am working.
I think I arranged to be in work on the last harvest festival rather than have to go to it.

nighbynight · 22/09/2009 18:31

OP - are you kidding? I never go to any of them.

juicychops · 22/09/2009 18:54

ds has just started school so i have changed my working hours to co-inside his school day. my work have been really good and i can do flexi time. so as long as i do my 16 hours per week and 'try' to stick within my contracted normal 3 days i can swap days around where i need to.

these last 2 weeks have been a killer with ds only doing 2 1/2 hours per day settling in but my work are happy for me to owe them hours as long as i do make them up and as long as i show i am doing all i can to make them up asap.

im a single parent so its all down to me, but i manage... just!!

branflake81 · 22/09/2009 19:10

I don't have school age DC and am horrified by this thread. I naively assumed that everything would be arranged for after school/evenings. Guess I have a lot to learn!

citronella · 22/09/2009 19:15

I don't.

HappyMummyOfOne · 22/09/2009 19:16

We dont seem to have as many days as the OP thankfully.

I work 3 days so swap days around to attend events and I am grateful I can do that. DH makes the important ones with me like the xmas play etc.

Lots of parents dont attend everything inc SAHM's.

Morosky · 22/09/2009 19:19

I am a teacher so don't and probably never will. This was one of the reasons that dp reduced his hours and now works from home. He can now go in as and when needed.

blithedance · 22/09/2009 20:11

You do have to take a call on what's really important. Christmas play, parents evening, sports day. Anything else scheduled during the working day must be seen as optional or the school need a serious reality check. Teachers are normally happy to arrange a meeting with a parent slightly later in the afternoon or on a different day - believe me though you're not missing much on the phonics!

Caz10 · 22/09/2009 20:15

Morosky I was just about to post that - please spare a thought for those of us who work and are teachers ourselves - DD not at school yet, but I already know that I will never get to any of her school stuff

blithedance · 22/09/2009 20:15

Just realised I do practically the same hours as you. Definitely see the teacher after school if you are picking up. Make an ally of him/her - they're probably a working parent too.

Also make a big effort to be seen at anything that IS a convenient time (PTA bonfire night coming up in our case).

indiechick · 22/09/2009 20:23

Echo what's been said about just going to the important stuff. I do have a fab childminder who frequently goes to the last minute ones and takes pictures for me, but most of the stuff I miss. Had to laugh as the newsletter last term complained that only 6 parents turned up to the opening of the IT suite at 11am, what did they expect?!

GreenMonkies · 22/09/2009 20:25

I take time off, a couple of hours leave, a half day, a late start, what ever.

helpYOUiWILL · 22/09/2009 20:33

definatly ask for a list of dates for the up coming year. After experiencing this in reception i found out that the school sets all dates in the september for the year. I asked for a list of dates and got them.

Either my hubby or myself try to attend and i use leave or accrue time owing from work to use. My hubby will also "work from home" on the occasion too. I also ask the GP to go if i cant - but it still breaks my heart

juicychops · 22/09/2009 20:36

helpyouiwill, i had to re-read your post as when you said GP i thought you meant your doctor!!

TheFallenMadonna · 22/09/2009 20:37

Yep. Another teacher who never gets to see anything they do in school hours, unfortunately

DH has some flexibility, and can make key things like Christmas plays and sports day. My mum is also willing to do a 200 mile round trip to attend these things too

elliepac · 22/09/2009 20:41

I am truly feeling your pain. I am a teacher so very rarely manage to make anything. Have sneaked out in my frees a couple of times to see assemblies but have not seen one sports day .

The only thing that consoles me is that we always try and make sure someone is there. That may be grandmas, aunties, friends etc. but at least there's someone there.

It stinks doesn't it!

helpYOUiWILL · 22/09/2009 20:57

sorry!! grandparents!!

Morosky · 22/09/2009 21:31

My old school would let me sneak out in frees, I could jump in a cab and be there in 5 minutes so could be there and back in a lesson for an assembly.

My new school has a zero tolerance policy (other than for graduations).

stealthsquiggle · 22/09/2009 22:06

Fortunately I work from home sometimes so I can make some things. I feel for teachers, doctors, etc - a doctor friend of mine finally snapped when patronised by another mother about what a shame it was that she hadn't seen her DD do her 10 seconds in an assembly and said "yes well I was a little busy at the time saving someone else's child's life" - she was very about it afterwards as she never plays that card but sometimes needs must.

Just remember that whatever DD says, not everyone else will have a parent there. She does need to know, though, so that she isn't looking for you. I have now got to the stage where there are a couple of friendly mothers who do make it to stuff, so if I can't make it I tell DS that X's Mummy has promised to watch you and to tell me all about it afterwards - so he looks for X's Mummy (who, duly primed, waves) and he feels as though there is someone there for him, IYSWIM.

Caz10 · 22/09/2009 22:07

Morosky that's rubbish

If I am still in the same school when dd starts hers I am hoping I'll be able to do the same in non-contact time. Boss seems to have been reasonably helpful to other staff in the same situations, for example another teacher's son started school this year and she was allowed to go and see him into school etc.

Morosky · 22/09/2009 22:11

It is just the way it is, there are so many pluses to my job I can't complain. I get the holidays with dd. I am lucky that dp can go in whenever invited.

sparklycheerymummy · 22/09/2009 22:21

I dont get to much but tell my dd that Mummy or Daddy is going to watch her too and then they always make a point of telling her they are watching her..... its frustrating as i work in a school but not much i can do. took unpaid leave to watch her christmas play as she was the star. but sometimes her step mum or daddy or my partner go if they can or grandparents.....or anyone really..... my dd doesnt mind as long as someone is watching her!!

cat64 · 22/09/2009 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

1dilemma · 22/09/2009 22:39

Most of the time we don't!

We have given up asking the school to give us more than 1 weeks notice of anything (we need to give long notice of any annual leave), they continually send out notes saying assembly/play/red squirrel costume for Thursday please!

They always do everything on the same day so our assembly has always been on one of the 2 days a week I simply can't get there they have a tendency to do everything else on Wed afternoon afterschool chats, extra plays etc again impossible for us.

They close for random days (2 extra added on at the start of term this Sept) and always shut 2 hours early on the last day of term (afterschool club does too!)

You do drop offs and pick-ups so are doing pretty well don't be too hard on yourself

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