How many activities does your Year 2 child do after school?

[AtheneNoctua]

I just want to make sure I don't push her too hard. But I also don't want her to miss out on things she might benfit from learning. Please tell me what you think of the schedule.

School (obviously) 8:50 - 3:15 M-F

Mon lunchtime - free play
Tues lunchtime - choir*
Wed lunchtime - book club*
Thurs lunchtime - school council*
Fri lunchtime - free play

Mon after school - 30 min violin lesson* followed by Kumon Math (also about 30 min)
Tues - tennis
Wed - nothing after school
Thurs - nothing after school
Fri - dance (ballet, modern, and tap - 3 classes back to back)

Items marked with "*" we are considering but have not yet committed.

I just assume I guess that if the teachers think all the boys learn this way and all the girls learn that way that must come through in their teaching in ways that I am not there to know about. I also think the national curriculum goes to town on teaching our kids to read at four and one of the prices to be paid for this enthusiasm in reading is a less then enthusiastic approach to some other subjects. They cover math, of course. But just not quite so enthusiastically. For example last year book week was celebrated as one big fantastic fancy dress party. The same week was engineering week and they did NOTHING. This is not acceptable to me.

DS is much more of a reader (or at he shows signs of being inclined this way anyway) so the school's approach will suit him. But, it's not what is best fro DD so it is my job as her mum to see she gets that encouragement elsewhere.

You have to watch your dc obviously Athene and listen to your nanny, try and get an idea for how well she copes with the schedule you have. My dd doesn't cope physically with all that much and I still have her doing quite a lot in addition to school. I am never entirely convinced I have got it right.

Personally I think choir is important, mainly because I was never really taught to sing well so I would like to be sure dd is. If the choir is good, I would ask her to try it. She cannot decide whether she wants to do it without knowing what it is like really.

Sport too generally I think is valuable on several counts. Unlike other activities which can leave dc feeling drained, sport can give them a bit more energy for getting through the week. So from your list I would do choir at lunchtime, tennis and dance after school.

Dd has been learning violin for a while and they do need to practice daily, for increasingly longer amounts of time as they progress and I found I had to monitor it with a watchful eye (slipping pancake hands, violins tilting towards the floor, postural slouches etc). Violin wasn't my choice, dd begged and begged to learn it , it's requires less involvement from me now after a year or so (I sit in on the lessons and I keep an eye on above points when she practices a bit) but it isn't the easiest instrument out there. I'd say you need to conjure up 15 minutes a day for concentrated practice when she is physically and mentally reasonably fresh tbh. Singing will help with violin too.

If you are early birds (we aren't), you could possibly get the violin practice done in the mornings before school

athene I am having probs with this atm too

DD wants to do too much IMO. I am trying to persuade her to give something up but she can't decide!

She doesn't have lunchtime things atm afaik but her after school things are

Mon - Drama
Tues - Ballet
Weds - Swimming
Thurs - nothing
Fri - Gymnastics

Then on satrudays she is starting Tennis 11-12 after doing a week long summer course and loving it.

She also wants to start learning an instrument and to do french classes. I have said no atm as I feel it is too much. I figure the sporty ones are not a prob as they only get 2 PE sessions a week at school which is clearly not enough. But all these other things I feel are too much for a Y2, surely?

oh and she wants to do brownies

Athene - I am not sure that the maths issue is gender-related, though. IM(limited)E primary teachers are more likely to be literacy specialists by training and 'arty' types by nature than they are to be maths specialists and/or engineers by nature. DS's class teacher this year (and last) is a notable exception. Last year he had her for maths as well and had a great year - bouncing with enthusiasm and leaping ahead at school and at home. This year, although she is still his form teacher, she is going to take the 'easy maths' (DS's description) group instead, so I am watching very carefully to see how the other teacher is doing and will step in if DS's enthusiasm for maths shows any sign of waning.

They do Kumon in the mornign. DS is 4 and has just started reception... and Kumon. (Go on... call me a pushy parent Alpha mum)

CD, Did you apply for an instrument through RMT or are you thinking private lessons? If you read below, you'll see I slacked off and now there is a waiting list. So it is private outside of school or nothing. I can't believe I dropped the ball like this.

I worry about how much my dcs do (5 and 6). I have no clue what they do at lunchtime - its up to them and I think they flit in and out of choir depending on what their friends are doing. Apart from that they do:

Mon - 5.45-6.30 Tae Kwon Do
Tues - 4.00-4.30 Sports club (they would otherwise be in after school club)
Thurs - 6.00-6.30 - swimming
Sat 10.00-11.00 - ds football and dd dancing

In addition, ds (6) has a variety of exercises he needs to do in relation to motor skills whenever there is a chance.

I would like them to do something musical but think I will wait for a while as I think their days are too long already.

Unless they fall behind at school, I will not consider them doing additional accademic work. I will also not arrange anything for a Friday as that is "friends" day.

Also, CD, I think if she is leading this and is still going strong and not too tired throughout the day then you should go for it. But, you might want to wait to sus out the year 2 homework load. I don't know about your school, but I have heard that our increases the homework load significantly in year 2, which I guess is another reason for me to wait a bit on the violin.

Athene, are you for real? Following the ball-dropping comment, I'm starting to think you're actually a character in a crappy mummy-novel.

If you're not, though, I'd still back right off. If the Maths thing bothers you, find an alternative school where girls and boys aren't stereotyped (I recommend indie girls' schools if you want your DD to do well at maths/science ).

I think choosing the right school is a bit more complicated.

And I don't know what a mummy-novel is.

I also don't know what an indie girls school is. But since you mentioned "girls' school" I can say I prefer mixed schools.

Can I just clarify that I started this thread to ponder whether or not to move forward with an instrument (violin, recorder, or other). Kumon, tennis, and Dance whilst not irrelevant to this topic, are not being considered fro cancellation.

I think a Mummy-novel is one of those ones where the 'heroine' suddenly realises she's 30 and has a child and jeans that don't do up any more (crisis!!!), and gets drunk, flirts with Single Dad in the playground, and finally realises that it's actually fine being a thirtysomething mummy after all. All terribly tedious.

An indie girls' school is, I believe, an independent girls' school, favoured by many parents who want their girls to learn without the 'distraction' of boys. I went to one, and they are very good at making you feel that science/maths/law are the only things that should matter to women.

Oh, and I'd forget about giving your DD extra things to do unless she has clearly said that she wants to do them (and for the right reasons - not because her friend is doing them). Even then, I'd draw the line at two or three per week.

what is RMT athene?

AN - responding to your comment a few pages back about making our dcs as overscheduled as us - I actually have their happiness as my biggest aspiration - as cheesy as that may sound - even if that involves them doing the so-called 'menial' work round at your dcs house...

Giving them the headspace to become themselves is much more important than making them into the person we wish that we were. Though I know it is difficult to resist - I do it often myself sometimes.

What makes it worse is other parents overscheduling though - then we all get caught up in a spiral of afterschool and lunchtime commitments just so that ours doesnt fall behind.

Oh, Athena and Athene. This is going to get confusing!

I don't actually subscribe to child led education. My role as a parent includes making decisions for the welfare of my child which he/she is not yet able to make for him/herself.

My parents had much better educations than any of their 4 children. They believed in letting theor children choose their courses in life. And I wished I'd been pushed a bit more. It would have been good for me. I'm not bitter. I've had a good life. But, I choose to do things slightly differently than my parents did. At 6 years old, DD is not old enough to choose all of her activities. If it was left to her she'd play with ponies and go to the Barbie Princess Castle lunchtime club. Neither of these things is going to happen.

I am not making her into the person that I wish that I was. If I had my druthers she would be sporty and dance would be nowhere in our lives. I though she would be good at tennis. But, it turns out, she is pretty average at tennis and has shown a real aptitude for dance. So I encourage dance/music as that seems to be her talent. It is certainly not mine. You wouldn't thank me for singing in public that's for sure. So, this has nothing to do with making her into what I have failed to become. It is about encouraging my six year old do do something and not sit around playing Barbie (which incidentally has been banned from my house along with Bratz).

You've banned Barbie..? Well hey she'll definitely rebel

Sorry ladies, this must be a wind up!

DS1 is about to start Y2.

He does not do clubs at lunchtime - he prefers the free play with his friends. He will do gardening club, swimming lessons and one other sport of his choice this year. I'd rather he practised his reading than a musical instrument, so no music, and he does Italian at school, and I think one other language is enough for a child that age. I would prefer it was French, German or Spanish tbh, but that's another story.

We have been warned that the homework load goes up a lot in Y2. DS's favourite activities are lego and playing with his friends, and I'm planning to leave lots of time for both.

I forgot to mention that some of my children's busy schedule was actually devoted to playing poker and engaging in fighting games with gogos.

Don't forget the Friday night Strongbow binge-out sly. Key to parental lie-in on Saturday..

I think you aren't giving teachers enough credit, Athene. Just because they generalise about learning style differences between girls and boys, doesn't mean that they think all girls only learn in one way. IME, the children are all taught in one group, anyway (they aren't segregated by gender). So they are all given the opportunity to learn from several approaches of how to extend their understanding of maths.

Also, imho, reading is the cornerstone of academic achievement; I can understand why schools have to prioritise it. DS didn't take off academically in all subjects until after his reading took off. And children who can't read the maths questions will struggle to answer them, no matter how good their native math talents.

Of course it's not a wind up - loads of children have busy schedules, it's a really easy thing to fall into especially if everyone else at their school is doing it.

I do think people are over-reacting a bit suggesting moving schools & stuff. Nowhere is perfect and very often the devil you know is better than the one you don't.