Separating twins in reception - been told its not up for discussion by Head!

[HammerHeadShark]

I would be very grateful for some advice/experiences of this. My non-id girls start reception in September. I had enquired to the school office and also on an open day of any specific policy on separating twins and was told there was none though separation was encouraged and usual, but it could be doscussed. Last night at a prospective parents evening I was told by the Head very firmly that it is school policy to separate twins and not up for discussion, after asking when it would be decided if they were separate or together.

I had been leaning towards keeping them together but am now shocked and upset at the "not up for discussion" stance, as I feel I only want my DCs to be happy at a big transition time.

I wrote her a letter outlining my concerns re: the confusion over policy, asking what would be in place to support them if separated and also if they could be placed back together if the separation did not work.

I have been summoned to the office next week to discuss and feel about 10 years old again! Would be very grateful for any advice on what to say or experiences of similar issues. I am wary of being labelled a troublemaker before they even start school, but feel I do need to voice my concerns. Many thanks for any thoughts!(Will also post on multiple board)

Haven't read all responses but my younger twin sisters feel that they should have been separated at school to get individual recognititon. As adults Twin II has had real problems which she feels stem from childhood anf no individuality status. She is 46!!!

My dts started school last sept, in same class as only 1 class in each year at their school, dts are very close at home, but in school the teacher stated that if a stranger came into the class, they wouldn't be able to tell they were twins, they have completely separated home life from school life, have their own friends. I'd be horrified if they were separated.

Good luck.

Although I do see the benefits of seperation, which we can't do until secondary education. Plus my dts are boy girl so may be easier.

At our school twins are usually separated. But I am sure that is aftre discussion with parents and would expect that tbh.

DS1 had twins together in his class in FS2 but they were later separated - at parents' req I believe.

Thank you all for your experiences and opinions - it is very helpful.

lizipads - many thanks for the Christina Tinglof book recommendation - I have ordered one.

Have the meeting tomorrow - will update then. Feeling very nervous to be going to a Head Teachers office - does that never go away even when you are grown up?

DD is friends with twins in her class who have clearly separate personalities and although they ar part of the same group of friends they do have individual friends.

Their mum felt they would be fine either way but in the end made the decision to keep them together because as a working mum she couldn't cope with two different sets of birthday parties/playdates etc.

On the whole though I htink it is probably good for them to be separated unless as in the case of dd's friends they are very independent of each other.

Interesting thread, which one of our mums has pointed out. I'm the Tamba CEO and we have produced (with Professor Pat Preedy) a sample admissions policy for all schools.

We make it clear that parents should have a strong say in the matter. The research suggests that for many - seperation at 5 years of age is not ideal (but this depends on the type of sibbling relationship).

We are supporting a number of members who are upset by their schools choice. We are also undertaking a national survey on your educational experiences at www.tamba.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=243

For more information or help then please try www.tamba.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=330 or our school admissions campaign www.tamba.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=273

Do get in touch if you need us - best wishes, Tamba

My ID boys start in sept and are being separated. Is school policy, but also our wish. If we had wanted them kept together, I think the school would have allowed, but kept it under review.

The fact they are ID is a big issue in our decision, I want to know 100% that the teacher knows who they are talking about.

The boys also have very different personalities and I do not want them compared, or to comete against eachother.

Interestingly, my frend teaches at a primary where they do not separate twins at all, and the teachers find it very difficult, not only where knowing who is who is a problem, but in getting some of the children to be independent from their twin.

Although I think then school probably no best -they will have dealt with dozens of sets of twins and know what works well `in school and what doesn't,I think that it is apalling that theyu have dealt with you in such a high-handed manner. Not open to discussion indeed !i suspect you are more averse to their bossiness than their decison.