refusnik reader (aged 7): any tips before I... (long)

[tigerdriver]

..go completely up the wall.

This is partly prompted by the "how young were you when you started to read" thread and partly by me having spent about the 30 most frustrating minutes of my life (well, nearly) earlier this evening.

DS is 7, yr 2. He is v bright, talkative, curious, funny, a mine of useless information on many subjects (esp Man U and Bruce Springsteen - don't ask), etc etc but he loathes reading and writing with a passion. His writing used to be creative if difficult to decipher but now is nothing but drawings of stick footballers with "he soots, he sorc" (trans: "he shoots, he scores") scribbled underneath.

OK.

As for reading - he just will not make an effort. He can read reasonably ok, if he is in the mood, but every home reading effort takes forever, is punctuated by demands for drinks, going to the loo, complaints about tummyache, random questions about Cristiano bloomin' Ronaldo, and so on. He then gets stuck on "the" or "cat" or "Biff".

I have tried reasoning - the less time on reading the more time kicking his football or arranging his MatchAttax; bribery - read this nicely for mummy and you can have.....; punishment - unless you sit still and read this, you will not be watching any TV. None of it works, and yes I do follow up the threats so I don't make them too outlandish. He is now sulking in bed, as I have sent him there after yet another refusnik session. I have threatened no afterschool sports this week as a reaction to his behaviour, but he's, like, "so what" (that is an ironic "like" BTW).

One of his mates was round the other day and they were playing a board game. This boy could read the instructions as well as I could, and afterwards I commented on this to DS, who is quite competitive, and he just said: "so what".

I have even had his eyes tested to make sure he can see what he's supposed to be reading. 20:20 vision.

I am going to see his class teacher on Friday to discuss all this further but would really value any thoughts on this from anyone who has similar or who is Yr 2 teacher. I have great respect for his teacher but the last time I broached this with her she said he was just lazy (with which I concur) and to tell DS that both DH and I had struggled to read when we were 7 - which isn't true (as DS knows, as I have unfortunately spilled the beans on being able to read at 3) to encourage him.

Help!

the key, IMO, is to find something he ENJOYS reading

if he doesn't like it, finds it boring, then he isn't going to want to do it. and that is not conducive to learning

do talk to the teacher, and ask if you can find some alternative reading matter for him to practise with at home (am assuming he has to do the whole biff/chip thing as part of curriculum at school?)

All I can think of is...football books?
DS1 is in Reception and was like this until recently when his competitive streak took over and he realised he wasn't top of the class. Then he suddenly wanted to do his reading books every night and practice his writing. I am sure that the only reason is because the people who were top of the class at reading/writing were boys who he aspired to be like/beat. If they'd been girls he wouldn't have bothered.
He still lacks concentration and "forgets" easy words.
Try and find books/games that he will be interested in and learn that way.

It's awful when they do this!

I'm sure you've heard all this before, so ignore the bits you already know.....

If he hates the school reading book, can you just stop reading it or would that cause trouble at school? We used to read it once only and then whatever dc wanted to read after that, I got to the stage where I didn't care what it was.

If he likes adventure stories you could try the Beast Quest books by Adam Blade, Jack Stalwart spy stories by Elizabeth Hunt, or Zac Power series by H. Larry.

Story tapes worked for us sometimes.

Sometimes reading a paragraph or a page each at bedtime helped, as well as during 'homework' time.

For DS, setting a timer for 10 minutes good reading was helpful as he could see it count down to finishing time. It got stopped whenever he whinged, went to the toilet or got sidetracked.

Most often it helped when the child chose the reading matter - even if it was a subject that I knew nothing about (eg Man U ).

Sometimes, we just stepped back and took the heat out of it for a while, and didn't do any reading for a couple of nights.

Hope this is helpful - I'm sure others will have more ideas -this is what worked for us.

Oops, forgot to add football stories...

David Bedford - The Team series
Rob Childs - County Cup
I think Diane Redmond has a few out too.

DS1 loves puzzle book (Usborne do a great load of these) and also these
Cheap and fab
Which have been the best Christmas present ever. Not exactly reading, but encouraging a love of books. And a great incentive for him to learn to read fluently so he can read them himself?

I'm a year 2 teacher and there are so many boys who are like this with their reading and writing. IMO it's because our school system pushes children (boys in particular) into reading and writnig before they're ready, or have the motor skills for it... but that's another rant!

Back to you - all the suggestions about different types of reading materials are great. i personally never worry if children read different things to the reading scheme - that's usually there for children who have little access to other books, and also because there is a clear progression in difficulty.

I would suggest that you try and get your son included in some 'real life' reading and writing, for example, you could write a fan letter to Cristiano Ronaldo together, read Bruce Springsteen's lyrics whilst listening to the songs, read internet reports about football matches,make a treasure hunt with clues or your son could make one for a friend, make a scrapbook about one of the areas he's mine of information about...

HTH. I have to say, if I were the teacher, I would be most concerned that it is becoming such a battle for you both. Above all, I'd say try and take the pressure off both of you and try and make reading / writing fun. Doesn't matter if it fits the curriculum, or has nothing to do with school work. play to your son's interests. Hope things get better

My first thought is 30 mins is too long to struggle. If he won't do it after 10 you are only stressing yourself.

I think lots of short 5 - 10 mins every night is far more productive that a battle for 30+ mins.

I've just introduced new boy friendly reading books into my school and my reluctant non readers are waxing lyrical. I even got a "I love reading" from one boy who wouldn't read at all in Y2 (the Ed Psych was impressed)

From your description it sounds as if he is struggling with phonics (obviously I don't know your son and the class teacher does) but it really doesn't sound like a lazy child rather a child who is reluctant because they are finding it a problem.

hey guys, thank you all for your tips and I am glad it's not just me.

Yes, he has to do the Biff/Chip etc books. He has to do two bits of home reading of these books to get a star in his reading record (this is quite a big deal, thank goodness). The main problem is getting him to sit and read them once!

Snowoman: I do like the idea of a timer and 10 mins and stopping it for distractions (a bit like footie, really, then). Will try that one.

We have loads of Beast Quest books but sadly I have to read them to him (the Kingdom of Avantia: sounds like a mid range Vauxhall to me). He wouldn't be able to read one of those to himself yet, but he might be able to sit and read to me or DH from one, so will try that (we also have the Spy Dog books which he loves).

I have had a heart to heart with him just now and he knows I was cross about the reading, and has promised to try harder as "I will be able to read my football magazines then". BREAKTHROUGH! So I have relented on the cricket ban tomorrow (softie).

Thanks again for all your help!

What about books of bizarre facts, he could learn a new one every night? Why do wasps sting, why do we poo, that kind of thing. Something totally different to ORT. It might click.

crocdundee and mrz - didn't read your posts before my last one:

crocdundee - I love those ideas. We are going to see Bruce S next month and DS has already started to learn the words so he can join in, but only from listening, not from reading, so that might be a good idea, and deffo something he'll enjoy.

Mrz - yes, it doesn't really go on for 30 mins, but it feels like it. What are your boy friendly books? (for us, the nadir was "Aneena's Dress"!) Interested in what you say re struggling with phonics - will discuss with his teacher on Fri.

Thanks again all

How about comics?

I could have written this post. We have the same here in many ways.

We have had some success with the alternative reading matter, and the timer SnowWoman mentions (there are other ideas I'll start to use here too).

A definite issue seems to be that the school reading is too easy and boring. He will try harder when it is something else.

He can read and write. He spent yesterday afternoon drawing out archictectural plans for a playhouse with a letter for the builder attached but he has been determined to avoid the school tasks.

The one thing we've done that's not mentioned here is to say very mildly that the worst thing that can happen is that the homework won't be finished in the set time and he can try again tomorrow. We, and the teacher, will be fine with that.

This means he can't drag the whole thing out and use it as a way of getting attention (which is an issue here when the girls at nearly 3 and 9 months are crawling all over us).

Thanks for posting this ...

liking the bizarre facts, that is just down his street!

am feeling much more positive now, thanks again

Lots of really good advice about reading matter here. I would second what mrz says, though, and check that he really does know his phonics. If he's still ever hesitating on 'the' or 'cat' or 'Biff' it sounds as if he's really not secure with his decoding. So if it's a book with lots of sight words he knows and picture clues (like Biff and Chip) he might seem quite competent, but then on another simple text seem to struggle.

This page is very useful for links to reading tests, including ones where you can check if he does in fact know his alphabet code and the sound symbol correspondences:
www.aowm73.dsl.pipex.com/dyslexics/resources_and_further_2.htm

Maverick on this forum has given lots of good advice on reading, so you could search for her (his?) posts.

Good luck. I have a 10 year old DS who at the moment is refusing to read novels - lots of comics, football mags etc, but no novels.

The reading scheme is called Rapid Readers (for reluctant readers) and cost £3.50 per book from the publisher www.heinemann.co.uk/Series/Primary/RapidReading/RapidReading.aspx The series is designed to help reluctant readers, giving them simple, colourful texts with a mix of fact and fiction in each title.

That's really interesting singersgirl.

We've also been larding on the praise for everything he's trying with so that he knows it's evidence of trying I'm looking for not 'getting it right all the time.'

We also keep bedtime reading free of learning. Was it Michael Rosen who said that we punish children for learning to read by depriving them of the pleasure of being read to as they improve? Anyhow, being read to is a great source of the pleasure of books.

Bribery for a specific goal? DS1 is Y1 and does not like reading but does like Lego. He wanted the Lego City crane, a snip at £39, so I said he could have it if he read 39 books. That would be 37.5 more books than he had ever read to me before - it took him 3 weeks!

His next aim is the fire station, also £39.

Joke books, also might be worth a go?

sorry/about/the/odd/spacing,myspacebarisn'tworking

I had one of these tiger, still do to a large extent. It's Ds2, he was 8 last week and yr 3.
I gave up on biff and bloody chip. It was so painful and sooo boring. It's no wonder they don't want to read them.
I decided I didn't care what he was reading as long as he was so we had comics galore. He's also a history buff so we did loads of those. Fact definitely worked better than fiction.
2 things really worked... reading books with follow along audio cd's. the I am reading range
The I can read series batman one
and then
magic treehouse series great titles for boys.
There was also a huge shift between yr 2 and yr 3. I think he realised he was going to have to read, so might as well get on with it. Don't worry, he will get there

sorry this is one with a cd

Friday, ingles, sibh

Thanks for all these posts. I am going to take all your ideas away (but maybe not try them all at once!). I know he'll get there, it's just that frustrating thing right now, and he is one stubborn little person (wonder where he gets that from). Yes, the Biff and Chips are obviously sound in theory (endless repetition) but total heartsinks (oh no, not "Dad's grand plan"!).

Agree, fact might work for him reading out loud rather than fiction - he likes fiction if I read it to him (and I did read the whole of the Narnia series in the correct order before that film came out with the dishy Price Caspian to distract me....) but it's the reading to me/shock horror, reading to himself for pleasure that is lacking at the moment.

Great ideas, I will save all of this. Will give you all an update at the end of term.....

Meant to say, some of our P2 teachers are using a few of the OUP Project X books for reluctant boy readers. Each level has a mix of fiction and non-fiction texts with computer-generated-style illustrations. The books seem to be going down a bit better than ORT at the moment.

RE fact books, try Why eating bogies is good for you - apparently it lives up to the title! Seems like a younger version of the New Scientist series Does anything eat wasps?

As others have said, talking to the teacher about his decoding skills will help too, just in case there is a dificulty there.

My 7 yr old is treated to a 'Match of the day' magazine each week. He reads this, cover to cover, does the quizzes and finally cuts out the posters.
He will only read his school book under great sufferance.

I would say let him read whatever he enjoys just to show him that reading is a skill which is useful to him, personally. But stick with reading harder books to him to keep up that love of stories. He may return to fiction when he feels more confident.
Football mags might not be the best literature but they win hands down for interest. If he can attempt some of the players names, then it must be doing his phonic skills some good!

One other thought, you hint that you have been upset/cross/concerned and have shown it to your son. Boys can be very quick to equate criticism with failure. Maybe if he sees Mum is getting stressed at all this he is worried that he is not up to the job.
Maybe back off for a while and take it at his pace.

Thanks, Football - I don't hint it, I am cross/stressed/upset over this and I am afraid he knows it. Food for thought there - there was a lot of fuss tonight with the "reconciliation". Maybe I should be a bit more easy come easy go, it is easy to get overstressed and show it, but sometimes I think they have to know that they are not just coasting along IYSWIM. Thanks for that though - more stuff to ponder.

Not easy this, is it, we don't have serious problems, thank God, but stuff like this isn't easy.

What did he get in his SATS? Is the school worried? If SATS OK and school not worried I would just back off completely for a while. Read to him, make sure there's books and Match Magazine about but just stop trying to get him to 'do reading" at all for a month or two. It's nearly the end of the school year now, so I would leave it completely and start again in September. I would put money on the problem having sorted itself out automatically if you do.