refusnik reader (aged 7): any tips before I... (long)

[tigerdriver]

..go completely up the wall.

This is partly prompted by the "how young were you when you started to read" thread and partly by me having spent about the 30 most frustrating minutes of my life (well, nearly) earlier this evening.

DS is 7, yr 2. He is v bright, talkative, curious, funny, a mine of useless information on many subjects (esp Man U and Bruce Springsteen - don't ask), etc etc but he loathes reading and writing with a passion. His writing used to be creative if difficult to decipher but now is nothing but drawings of stick footballers with "he soots, he sorc" (trans: "he shoots, he scores") scribbled underneath.

OK.

As for reading - he just will not make an effort. He can read reasonably ok, if he is in the mood, but every home reading effort takes forever, is punctuated by demands for drinks, going to the loo, complaints about tummyache, random questions about Cristiano bloomin' Ronaldo, and so on. He then gets stuck on "the" or "cat" or "Biff".

I have tried reasoning - the less time on reading the more time kicking his football or arranging his MatchAttax; bribery - read this nicely for mummy and you can have.....; punishment - unless you sit still and read this, you will not be watching any TV. None of it works, and yes I do follow up the threats so I don't make them too outlandish. He is now sulking in bed, as I have sent him there after yet another refusnik session. I have threatened no afterschool sports this week as a reaction to his behaviour, but he's, like, "so what" (that is an ironic "like" BTW).

One of his mates was round the other day and they were playing a board game. This boy could read the instructions as well as I could, and afterwards I commented on this to DS, who is quite competitive, and he just said: "so what".

I have even had his eyes tested to make sure he can see what he's supposed to be reading. 20:20 vision.

I am going to see his class teacher on Friday to discuss all this further but would really value any thoughts on this from anyone who has similar or who is Yr 2 teacher. I have great respect for his teacher but the last time I broached this with her she said he was just lazy (with which I concur) and to tell DS that both DH and I had struggled to read when we were 7 - which isn't true (as DS knows, as I have unfortunately spilled the beans on being able to read at 3) to encourage him.

Help!

I agree Seeker.
Children will generally learn according to their developmental stage. Pushing them too much has the adverse affect. Unless there is concern of specific SEN then cooling off will do no harm.

Remember tiger, if he lived in Europe he would have only just started formal schooling. I know what you mean though, it's not easy. We all try to do the right thing and sometimes it's hard knowing what to do for the best. My DS is also a bit of a 'coaster'. I have to keep reminding myself that he is only 7, and that of course football is more important

You sound like a level headed type! I'm sure there's a middle ground in there somewhere.

Yes, hadn't thought about the European thing - but do kids in say Germany or whereever not do any reading before formal school? thank you, Football, I think I am fairly level headed even if I get a bit cross occasionally!

I don't really understand how SATs work but I know his teacher thought he would be a 2(a) (I think) but he is going to be a 3 (if I have that the wrong way round, forgive me - she meant that he'd be nearly at the top but was going to be at the bottom). They did SATs last week, and he enjoyed doing them, but I don't know when we get the outcome. I have lots of views on SATs BTW, probably the same as most teachers.

I hate SATS with a passion, but in circumstances like these it can sometimes be helpful to have an objective (ish) measure. So, if he's 2b he's where he should be - 2a is above average and 3 is very good. If he's any of those then I reinforce my back off completely and see what happens when there's no stress or hassle. As I said, I will put money on everything being different in September.

I have just read(skimmed) that reading thread and someone there said in Italy it is frowned on to teach reading before school.
I think its related to readiness for reading. Thats the general age kids are able to click into it.
Having said that, am at the number of people who claim to have been reading at 2/3 years old!
None of that going on in my house I'm afraid, then or now!

If your DS is a level 3 then he is at the highest level an Infant child can be at.
2a is just below that
2b is just below that and is national average for year 2
2c is just below national average
1a is lower
1b is lower still and
1c is lower still.

So if he is 2a or 3 he is doing well and is above average for his age.

Thanks, Seeker.

I will see what the SATS outcome is - from what you say, I think she said she thought he would be a 3 originally (which would fit with all his other skills) but now expects a 2b - so over the year he's dropped down by quite a bit - ie two levels. I'll try the other strategies too, and over the summer when we have more time together, we'll see how we get on. Yes, come September, and possibly a new class teacher (small village school, so usually two years taught together) he might just turn the corner.

It may not be that he's dropped sub-levels - it may be that he hasn't made as fast progress as the teacher thought he was going to. Remember that children often plateau then take big leaps forward. And 2b is the average for his age, so he's doing fine.

oops x posts seeker!
you say it much more succinctly!

SAT's pahh

Yes, that makes sense.

Thank you - this has been a nice, reassuring, helpful MN thread!