Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

My son's school experience so far

48 replies

FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 09:56

3 years of bullying. Nothing done to stop it.
Teacher saying she would beat the whole class up.
TA saying my child is mean.
Another child pulling his hair out.
Wish I could protect him.

OP posts:
izyboy · 14/05/2009 10:01

Remove him, send him to another school it just does not seem worth it.

AMumInScotland · 14/05/2009 10:04

Are there any other choices of school? Could you home educate for a while?

Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 10:04

That child doesn't bully him anymore as they are in a different class now (my request)

His current teacher is fabulous and my son loves her. I told her about the mean comment and hair pulling this morning - she knew nothing - and I am seeing her after school as she is going to talk to the TA who said it to him, and also to the child who pulled his hair.

I know I can't fight his battles for him but am I being unreasonable to feel comments like that and hair pulling are just not on?

OP posts:
Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 10:05

My MIL would HE if it came to it. I asked her that before he eve started reception.

Plenty of other schools but not sure how they are.

The head at our school denied there is any bullying and 2 children have left my DD's class this term through bullying.

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 14/05/2009 10:21

Heads who deny there is any bullying are a struggle to get round. But it sounds like his current teached in on side - can you tak to her about the whole situation and see what she thinks can be done?

You can't fight his batles for him, but the school should be making sure their children are not having to battle every day just to cope with bullying.

I'd definitely be looking at other schools - so long as the head denies there's a problem, it's not going to get much better, and if you've seen bullying with both children then you know very well that there's a problem. School doens't have to be like that, many are good at dealing with this stuff.

saintmaybe · 14/05/2009 10:28

3 years? Is there no other school? I wouldn't stay anywhere I was bullied for 3 years, would you?

GypsyMoth · 14/05/2009 10:31

in what context did the TA say he was "mean"?

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/05/2009 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 10:36

It sounds bad, doesn't it. 3 years of bullying. It wasn't every day and a lot of it was seen as just normal kids stuff. Nothing that warranted him being removed. I wanted to move him, but I am over emotional and DH didn't.

The TA said he was mean to tell her someone wouldn't let him join in.

OP posts:
Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 10:37

My DH wa bullied at school, I was too, and he feels the kids have to fight their own battles. I think he is too much that way and I am too much going in to fight them for him.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 14/05/2009 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMumInScotland · 14/05/2009 10:41

Presumably he was telling the TA the others were excluding him, a type of bullying? And her reaction was to tell him that it was him who was being mean?!

It seems that the culture of bullying is just accepted by the school and they're not going to change.

You can't protect him during the school day in his current school. You can protect him by not sending him there any more. Seriously, pull him out and either look at another school or let MIL HE him.

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/05/2009 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 14/05/2009 10:45

she was insinuating he was mean to tell tales? cos the others wouldn't play with him. well i think no matter which school he goes to,there will always be times when kids fall out/don't want to play etc.....thats the nature of kids. my kids have all encountered this.

flamingobingo · 14/05/2009 10:55

Please consider home edding him. It's a load of crap that bullying is good for children and I feel really angry and sad whenever I hear that attitude. Why not get in touch with some local home educators and explore the option in some detail?

saintmaybe · 14/05/2009 11:06

Or ask around about other schools. It doesn't have to be like this.

What message does it send him about what he has to put up with in life?

posieparker · 14/05/2009 11:09

I think many of us could write similar things if we took our dcs word for it. Bullying is a very strong word and often over used.

Is your ds happy?

Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 11:10

Sorry, I was off making him a chocolate cake. I can feed him well if nothing else.

Will answer you now.

In the infants it was pushing, stamping on his feet, exposing themselves, saying mean things.

My son is, imo, more emotional and young than some of the kids at school, and an easy target. He got told off for having his tei 1cm too short but I see other ties tied appallingly and wonder if they get told to stop it.

I don't know exactly why she said he was mean. I am ssuming it was because he said this other child wouldn't let him join in.

The teacher he has now (who is lovely) has said to the 2 boys to have a break for a while and I think my son finds it hard. not sure if he has many boy friends tbh. In Year R it was all the girls wanting to play with him and DH worried that DS would end up with no make friends. Seems to be the case to a degree.

I am actually really ashamed and upset now.

I will be speaking to the teacher this afternoon and will have to have a serious think about what I need to do.

Thanks for all your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 11:13

He would prefer not to go to school. He loves his teacher but he isn't a rough and tumble boy.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 14/05/2009 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 11:29

I just feel lost and have no idea what to do.

i come across as too emotional and too protective of him but someone pulling his hair out isn't right and as for the teacher "joking" that she would beat them all up...???

I wish I had stood up to her more instead of being intimidated and almost telling my son off.

OP posts:
Jux · 14/05/2009 11:48

I was bullied at school for years and years and the worst aspect of it was that my parents did nothing. Nothing. It started when I was 5 (Y2) and went on right through to the end of Y6.

My pov is that your child needs to know that you are doing something about it, and you do something effective.

It took me a long time to understand why my parents didn't send me to a different school, and I'm not sure I've really forgiven them for it even now, and I'm 50 and we get on really well (my dad died 15 yrs ago, but we were good friends until then).

GypsyMoth · 14/05/2009 11:57

hair pulled out is bad compared to hair pulling....the two are different,which was it? a tug,or pulled out in clumps?

you say you feel ashamed,of what?

alot of what you have mentioned sounds normal to me. however,its hard when nobody here knows you,and we don't get the full picture. does your son go in happily each morning? teachers are very experienced with childrens little spats,your post indicate that you feel the staff "single out" your son,or treat him differently.

i'm beginning to feel the problem lies more with how you feel than how your son feels?

i sympathise with you though,its bloody hard!!

Original poster
FabulousBakerGirl · 14/05/2009 12:05

DS said his hair was pulled out in clumps.

I feel ashamed I can't make his time at school better and also that I have not been more forceful.

I do feel my son is an easy target and it is hard to see whether some staff just pick on him as he is an easy target - or more that DS is pretty sensitive. I always get good reports about how good he is at school.

Some is about me. I am not happy here but I feel the school is good.

OP posts:
AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 12:18

FBG it is a very difficult position to be in. Be kind to yourself. It is about this school and group of people. It is not about you or your son. I moved my dd and we are both very very happy. However, I totally understand that it is a huge decicion that is and how hard it is. My dd was described as an easy target and that type of kid. In a new school she is no longer that kind of kid.