Do your children have to apologise to the whole class for being late?

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Ds told me this last night...if they are late they get an 'L' on the register, until they have publicly apologised to the entire class, after which they get a tick and all is forgotten.

I was appalled - considering it's usually the parents' fault, or nobody's fault, and I understand it's to create a sense of social responsibility but FFS they are FIVE.

Sorry am very angry about this. Yet another thing to 'have a word' about...

Jux sorry if that sounded judgey or harsh - not meant to, I'm not very good with words - what I mean I suppose is that your DH should get a move on, without relying on the teachers remonstrating with his child, in order to buck him up - does that make sense?

5??!? Its the parent's responsibility entirely, surely

I remember when I was at school a child coming in late for the third time in a week and getting sent to the headmaster. We were about 6 then, I've always remembered the way her face crumpled

It's not the children's fault! They have no control whatsoever over what time their parents get them to school. Holding them responsible, and particularly embarrassing them in front of the class, is just bullying and nasty IMO.

Although, if dd were procrastinating madly in the morning, I would let her take some responsibility and tell her its up to her - if she's late, I will explain why to the teacher. Always gets her going

And yes, at 5, its OTT regardless, and quite unnecessarily shaming, IMO.

Making a 5 year old child apologise is ridiculous. That said, there might be something in getting the parent to apologise to the whole class (assuming no mitigating circumstances)...

I seem to remember another thread where the same policy happened so it can't be only OPs school (unless they were both at the same school).

Doesn't happen at DS's school.

Not sure a 5 yr old would understand what they are apologising for - 'Sorry mummy/daddy wasn't organised enough to get me to school on time'. Do they have a particular lateness problem? In which case maybe it is a way of shaming parents into getting to school on time.

At ds's school they aren't marked late unless they are late for registration which is about 5 or 10 mins after the morning bell. We are always there for the bell but I'm amazed at the number of parents who are late and must arrive after registration.

At dd's school, if a Reception child were consistently late the teacher would speak to the parents to find out what the problem was - not the child at all!

Very unfair-it is the parent's fault if the DC is late.

When I was at secondary school if you were late then you had to sing a nursery rhyme in front of the whole class.

What annoyed me most was that we lived in a small village and had to get on the school bus which was very often late.

My point was that we had made it to the school bus on time so shouldn't be punished for something that wasn't our fault.

Same applies in this case, it is not the child's fault.

Seems excessive for a 5 yr old.
I must confess that these days (dd in yr 2) I have made it very plain that if we are late because she throws a wobbly / procrastinates unduly etc. I will personally take her to the head teacher so that she can explain why she is late.
I don't consider that by age 7 it is all my fault if she can't put her clothes on and eat her breakfast in an hour and a half.
But her head teacher is very, very scary, so we have never had to test the point.

your child is being purposely humiliated and I would go as far as to say he's being bullied by the teacher.

Write to the head and complain. FFS, they're still babies, not mini-adults

That is just stupid and cruel. It makes the whole journey to school highly stressed, makes the child fear the start of the day and is so wrong on so many levels. What happens if there is a horrendous trafifc jam or a car crash. I bet sme parents just kepe their kids off school if the think they are going to be late.

Why does the teacher not speak to parents if they are persistently late?.

Something annoyed me the other day. We had been sending DS1 to school in his games kit as he is just sent upstairs straight away to get changed anyway the moment he arirves in school.

His teacher saw us several times , said nothing then had a go at him for coming to school in games kit. We only live 5 minutes away.

Annoyed me intensely.

how did arranging the meeting with the teacher go Flight?

I ask any children who arrive during/after the register in my class (year 4) to say "Sorry I'm late" just to make sure I've seen them and signed them in somewhere. If they just come in and sit down you don't always notice.

Our registers are read electronically and you only mark children who are absent which means anybody who is late is automatically marked on the register. We are supposed to ask for a reason but I don't always though it's amazing how inventive some of them are.

I know it's not the children's fault (though some spend ages in the cloakroom) and I do speak to parents whose children are persistently late.

Kenny I understand that - you need to keep track of them. But you don't make them apologise to the whole class? I think that's different.

Abetadad - how horrid for your son. It makes you wonder if the teachers are afraid to approach us as parents, therefore pick an easier target.

Compo, thanks - I actually decided to write a letter as I knew I'd be bulldozed otherwise, and although she confidently said' yes after school tomorrow is fine' in response to my message left earlier, I handed her the letter and said 'let me know if you think it merits a meeting or if you'd rather just jot down a quick reply.'

That way it means I get a proper answer - I hope - and can respond accordingly. Every time I've had a meeting she has attacked me with lots of paperwork and examples of his work and what they've been doing, and it's really hard to get a word in edgeways. So I will get my point across better on paper I think.

Will let you know what she says tomorrow. Though if what ds says is correct I've no idea how they will begin to justify it.

Thanks again.

This is unkind and unfair to infants.

MY DD was 1 hour late as she had an appt and hasn't been given a 100% attendance certificate and is very upset. So petty imo.

OP - outrageous.

Thanks Edam, Watch and MB.

I suppose attendance certificates are another example of misdirected beaurocracy...not sure if we have those here or not.

I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable. The fact this happens elsewhere makes me think it's very plausible, sometimes ds does make things up a bit or get the wrong end of the stick.

What should I do though? Surely if this is an ingrained part of the school policy, they won't change it in a hurry just because one parent complains?

I just asked ds again to confirm what happens and he said it's definitely in front of the whole class.

I'm so cross. Blooming bullies.

He said 'It can make you really embarrassed, mummy'.

The other little lad who is persistently late has to do it every time apparently. Great boost to his self esteem, eh.

Maybe the teachers think it will work because the parents won't want their kids humiliated like this?

Quite possibly. Although my presumption is that they want to instill a sense of responsibility liek I was saying earlier - like 'we owe each other the courtesy to be on time' but it makes f all sense, because they are NOT in control of being late or on time at that age.

Secondary level, yes of course - but not tinies.

It's a good school apparently but I can't help but feel this is wrong.

I mean it's encouraging politeness but it's inappropriate for their age. I half think the school spends too much time adapting their pupils' behaviour to the sort that will please adults and make them go 'Oh what well behaved socially adjusted citizens'.

Crock of poo imo.