The dinner lady told my daughter she was naughty today

[NAB09]

She is 5 and couldn't cut up her chips. DD cried.

Poor thing. I fail to see how that was naughty.

poor thing! I'd have eaten with my fingers - your dd was v good to have used cutlery.

Do dinnerladies give behaviour reports to parents??? They do a lovely job but I'm not sure this is part of their job description. Should they not pass comments on to the teachers?? Just a thought.

The DL said it to my DD and my DD told me. The teacher had given out 3 certificates today and DD thought she hadn't got one for crying at the dinner table.

The teachers are not told anything about what happens at lunch time but the teacher said she would have a word. (I will eat my cat if she does.) I made it quite clear I thought it was a bit much when a child is only 5.

I think she said it to the op's daughter. Sounds like a 1970's throwback.

Are you sure she told dd she was naughty or does dd just think she was naughty because the dinner lady spoke to her?

I find it a bit odd that a DL would do that tbh.

Exactly cornsilk - this is how thing were when I was a school. You could always see the diner lady's bras though thier white shirts then. I wonder if you still can?

It is unlikely that she would be called naughty for not having mastered a particular skill. Naughty is usually doing something they have been told not to do, and vice versa.

I think dinner ladies are employed to discipline children while they are having lunch. The dinner lady may not have mastered the difference between calling someone naughty and referring to their behaviour as naughty.

I thought state schools had done away with chips.

LOL ST!!

Ours have chips twice every 3 weeks!!

lol @ state schools not serving chips!

Was she eating with her fingers because she coudn't cut the chips, and she was then told she was being naughty?

What ever, it obviously wans't handled well if she cried.

chips are once a week

dd said she was called naughty

my children seem to get told off quite a lot by the dinner ladies. ds got told to hurry up and spilt it all down him. took me weeks to get him to have a school dinner again.

Ah lighten up - I think memories like this of school are part and parcel of growing up.

I'll always remember my very first infant school teacher - she was a right cow bag but I often recount stories about her now with my family and friends who were taught by her too and we all have a laugh - my DS loves hearing them as well!

Granted, it might not have been very sensitive of the dinner lady to tell your DD she was "naughty" for not being able to cut up her food but was any real harm done?

At the same age as your DD,
during school dinner times my first infant teacher used to come up behind us and hold our hands with the cutlery in them and jab food that we didn't want to eat into our mouths Many a child used to regurgitate it back onto the plate.
Although it happened to me quite frequently (ad always with beetroot and roast heart YUCK) I can't remember even telling my mother about it.

Kids these days don't know they're born

That does sound mean. Horrid dinner ladies do exist unfortunately, there's one at my ds's school, as well as some lovely ones. Looks like your ds has got the short straw with that one.

I am ROFLing at the thought of that MN thread Gunnerbean!

Of course harm has been done. It has clearly played on my DD's mind all afternoon as it was the first thing she told me, I could tell as soon as she came out of class something had happened. A DL does not have the right to call my daughter naughty. FFS she couldn't cut up a chip. It wasn't like she had thrown them at the DL.

Do you think she got called naughty for eating her chips with her fingers because she couldn't cut them up?

Surely even the meanest dinnerlady wouldn't tell a 5yo off for not being able to cut a chip.

Yes, harm has been done today but in the big scheme of things it won't matter.

I really do think that some parents make a total mountain out of a molehill.

If you keep on about it, your DD will take her lead from you and it will become a major thing.

If I were you I'd play it right down to your DD and if you're really that bothered, make some sort of complaint to the school about the dinner lady.

I think you're right GB.

We are having an ongoing situation with DD not liking her teacher and it is taking a lot of self-control to keep playing it down and being positive about the teacher.

Unfortunately dinnerladies are often mean

When my daughter is upset it is a big deal for me and when it is unwarranted I will speak up.

it might seem like a small thing but this hasn't been my best week and it makes me upset to see my daughter upset.

Gunnerbean - sometimes though when you are 5 it is a big deal. I realise that you were 5 once but not all the children are the same when it comes to something like this.

I remember my primary school dinner ladies - they were bloody horrible. On my first day I could not cut up some braising steak as it was all grisley and horrible. I was told I could not leave and play with my friends until I had cut it up myself and eaten it. Surely a little bit of help goes a long way in the eyes of a 5 year old.

Don't be hard on yourself NAB09, your feelings are entirely natural. No mum likes to see their child upset.

I'm just looking at the situation as an outsider looking in and do feel that it would be in your DD's best interests for you to try and play this whole thing down a little, although I appreciate that might be hard for you if you've had a bad week anyway.

I am a mum too and would also hate to see my child upset but I think you have to try and put what happened today into perspective.

You making a big deal out of it, and your DD picking up on it, may only result in making your DD's lunchtime experinces more difficult and fraught in future.

There is every chance that this event did not happen exactly as it has been told to you by your DD.

Yes, your DD was upset and that upsets you but the DL didn't beat her with a stick.

I didn't make a big deal of it. Where do you get that from? I said what needed to be said to DD, I told my MIL in case DD mentioned it and I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I am like a lion with my cubs and probably do a lot of things wrong but my mother never ever took my side or spoke up for me and I want my kids to know I will always be on their side.

My daughter doesn't lie, SD.

If you are really on her side, you will make sure that as Gunnerbean says this is kept in proportion. Whether or not the word naughty was used in respect of cutting up the chips isn't worth dwelling on. Your dd needs to be able to eat her own dinner and that includes cutting the food. Obviously that is something you can help her to become more proficient at doing. Direct your energies onto improving her confidence with cutting.

As for your point about your dd not lying, I'm sure that is the case. Mine doens't lie either. However sometimes she gets muddled and doesn't always remember what has happened accurately. I have learnt to restrain my lioness tendencies and get the full facts.