Is it okay for a school to tell you you cannot view it untill after your child has been accepted?

[PippiCalzelunghe]

if not what would you do? write, talk to them or nothing?

and would you send your child there based on other people's opinion/experience? (I think I've answered that already tbh.)

'Some people want to disrupt the students and teachers, so they can have a walk through, and look at everything, and some people wouldn't dream of being so precious and disruptive.

Some schools don't mind adults walking through a child's environment day after day, and some schools are more protective of the children they are looking after. I know which school I would prefer to send my DD.'

I would, frankly, prefer to send my child to a school that felt it had nothing to hide, which was proud of showing its achievements, and where the children learn how to be welcoming and polite to visitors.

Precious, disruptive AND a potential paedophile - it's obviously my lucky day!

"Some people" obviously have very little idea how schools work and think that if they are paying for their child's education then everything must be super-duper .

"One little desk is the same as another and one painting is pretty much the same as another isn't it?"

Well to be honest I hope not. I would hate to see 20 similar pictures on the wall. To me it would say the children are very very guided in their work.

I didn't view my dd's school before I applied there but then it's my old school too . Tbh, it never occurred to me to ask to view it first - I didn't view my dd's pre-school nursery before I sent her there .

I would find it odd if you couldn't just pop in for a quick look around though. Maybe they're oversubscribed and the secretary has An Attitude.

Well I'm thinking that there are different ways of thinking about these things - some schools obviously think the same way as I do, and some think differently, as do you. And that's super-duper. There's room for everyone.

I prefer to look at the reports of the school, and I look at the general air of students coming down my street to get a better idea of what the school is like. I don't think I'm somehow entitled to have a personal appointment to observe other people's children in situ at their little desks, and disrupting their class.

Schools do things differently - there are all kinds of schools and all kinds of parents - we obviously do not agree on this issue. I agree with the school across the road from you!
You don't and that's why you have decided to go to another school, and why you don't agree with my argument. Simple!

Lala, you're funny! There is no free school: state or religious nearby where we live, so we gladly pay for a private school. I don't mind shelling out my hard earned cash, I'd prefer that to an hour's commute everyday: I think a local school is better for our family dynamic.

I rest my case. The world has gone mad. Horrid, horrid.

I would want to meet the head teacher!
Also, when we viewed the local schools we were actively encouraged to talk to the children and the children were encouraged to talk to us too. The children were all well spoken, enthusiastic and welcoming...and it gave me a good idea of the school's ethos and atmosphere.
I would run a mile from a school that had the children in some kind of educational prison where anything from the outside world was kept away from them...meeting a grown up who has a child that might attend the school..! Good Heavens how terribly bad and threatening, I can see why the school only wants those willing to stump up cash to be allowed in those hallowed halls...otherwise the poor children may be contaminated by people without the necessary kudos.

If you were afraid of an adult seeing your child at school because they might be a paedophile, then you'd have to ban parents from the playground, non?

And if there is a danger in seeing the teacher speaking politely to a parent in the day, surely that means no teachers must ever speak to parents at pick-up time, or when they meet in the streets, teachers must never have friends outside of the school or have any roots in the local community.

It would also presumably mean that as a parent you should never chat politely to another parent in the playground without having checked their CRB record, just in case you are late for pick-up. And absolutely avoid your children noticing that some of the parents queueing in the playground are also the local postman, shop assistand, pharmacist etc.

Is this really how you lead your own life, Zazen? Refusing to speak to any adult you don't know for fear they will then be in a position to abduct your child?

Our local infants school is very much part of the local community. They have lovely open days when all members of the community are invited, not just those with children. Adults are invited in to read with the children- men particularly encouraged. It's not like they are going to be spending the day out in the woods with the kids- there are teachers there to keep them safe!!! But if you think the only way to keep a child safe is to not to let them become acquaintanced with other parents, then that seems quite scary to me.

In our junior school, children man the reception during breaktime and deal with visitors. Excellent training in skills they will need for adulthood.

I would run a mile! What have they got to hide??!!!

Its quite possible to guide parents around school with minimum disruption and often the head when I was teachign woudl say "are you up for visitors this AM/PM" and if I said no they would go to see someone else class!

Its no biggy and I can't understand what the school gains by being so unfriendly to potential parents

nomoreamover what you say is right. the other school I've been to was brilliant and during the visit they did exactly that - ask the teacher if it was okay to go in etc.

also eventhough I agree not to disrupt lessons a lot, I still think a call back from the head would be nice as assured by the stroppy secretary. anyway I am pretty sure I've made up my mind. It's only a shame that I had this vision of taking dd to school in pj!

they would probably think you are some sort of pervert if you go in your pijama!

Don't touch it with a barge pole! You can't possibly apply for a school unless you have visited on a normal working day-I have never heard such rubbish!!

hot. especially if you've seen the rubbish pj I'm usually in.

hey cory - parents are banned from the playgrounds in most schools here! I'm not in the Uk BTW I'm in a country where one in four children are abused. Here's a link to the Uk's figures

I worked with survivors of abuse and rape and I do know that in 99.9% of cases the pedo was known to the child - not some imaginary rapist wearing a dirty old macintosh in the park or wherever.
That's a comforting myth that it's only strangers who are outside your own circle that are mostly involved, but a myth none the less.

And yes, I talk to strangers, how else can you make friends
Personally I despise Stranger Danger talks as it emphasises the dirty old man in the mac myth.

Of course you've got trust your gut instincts OP. My gut instinct tells me that my DD deserves to be allowed to work peacefully in her classroom without hordes of adults coming round to gawp at her and her friends, and their work.

If you don't mind your children being part of the circus-like gawp show - go ahead: I suppose it's vocational training for reality TV or the X factor
I don't want my child viewed as an exhibit, and that's why we don't agree about this school the OP has posted about.

To me this school with a stricter policy of access by parents is ideal - and presumably the parents who send their children there agree with me also, otherwise it would close, no?

Why can't we just acknowledge that we are different? And that there's a perfect solution for all our children.
You send your kids to the school where tom dick and harriet can breeze in and through the classrooms whenever they make an appointment, and I'll send my child to a school which is a little more respectful of my child's right to privacy.

This happened to a friend of mine in relation to her (very over-subscribed) local state primary - she phoned and asked to look round, they said she was too early, and when she phoned again 6 months later they said she was too late!

Our school (private) has open mornings every term usually on a Sat though - they ask a few classes to come in so people can get a feel for the school. But then I guess its a business (which is good and bad in lots of ways) so they aren't going to say no to parents.

My dad recently went and gave Year 1 a talk and many of the parents do stuff like carpentry or cooking - how awful that they might be viewed as a risk! Though to my knowledge they're never left alone with the children.

zazen I know you are not arguing with me but for the record: I don't think I disagree with you re disrupting the children etc. I said numerous times that I never requested nor expected a full tour of the place. What I was miffed about was the unwelcoming and uncompromising attitude, the rudeness of the secretary and the unresponsivness of the head. I did say I would have been happy to go in to talk to the head for a few minutes or a teacher after classes finished at 3.30pm. If someone would have explained all the reason for not been able to arrange a meeting, like you have, for example, I'd have been quite happy maybe. But is the 'computer says no!' attitude that I disliked.

At my DD's school we had to send an application fee of 350 euros just to get a preliminary parental interview with the headmistress. No open day or presentation first.

state school?

"
"Of course you've got trust your gut instincts OP. My gut instinct tells me that my DD deserves to be allowed to work peacefully in her classroom without hordes of adults coming round to gawp at her and her friends, and their work.

If you don't mind your children being part of the circus-like gawp show - go ahead: I suppose it's vocational training for reality TV or the X factor grin
I don't want my child viewed as an exhibit"

This is really an incredibly offensive post, zazen - you may wish to rethink it!

"BTW I'm in a country where one in four children are abused. Here's a link to the Uk's figures'

I'm sorry - I just don't believe that there is a country in the world where 1 in 4 children are abused. It might have been more helpful to post a link to the figures for your country.

Interestingly, the NSPCC site doesn't mention the percentage of children who are abused by a parent popping their head round the door of a classroom.

I think it's disingenous to suggest that you believe a school which allows parents to look around is running a 'circus-like gawp show'. Most schools organise tours and will accommodate people who, for whatever reason, have missed the tour. I would be extremely suspicious of any school that didn't. I don't know any school, state or private, round here that doesn't allow parents to view the school first.

Zazen - so if the one in four figure is the case (and perhaps you are living in the Democratic Republic of Congo or some such) then surely the school should be more open to parents wanting to look around and make sure that the school is behaving responsibly and appropriately to its charges. You still haven't explained how allowing parents once or twice a term to tour the school with a member of staff and having no direct contact with the children leads to potential abuse and you also say that you hate the myth of "stranger danger".

It's all quite odd.

There is no way I would ever send my child to a school if I hadn't visited it beforehand, talked to the Head and been around all the classes on a normal working day. I would be highly suspicious and wonder what they had to hide. It doesn't disrupt the children or make them into exhibits.
Schools should have an open door policy-I wouldn't send mine to one where the parents were banned from the playground. I would expect parents to be involved and helping in the classroom. I do not believe the 1 in 4 figure for abuse.

I have just read all the posts on this thread and am amazed at it all!! As a teacher, I cannot understand anyone who would want to send their child to a school they hadn't previously visited properly and on a working day. In my experience as a parent of 3 and a primary teacher parents coming round to look neither disturbs us or the children. We all carry on and the prospective parents are always apologetic and are in for approx 2 minutes! The children are very good at explaining what they are doing if needs be and are always proud of their work/school.
Nobody should have to put up with uncompromising schools. My view would be what have they got to hide??