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Reposted as forgot to title - Have to go in to school on Monday

36 replies

theresonlyme · 23/01/2009 19:01

The receptionist rang at 3.45 to ask me to go in and see a member of staff on Monday. Couldn't say why, DH rang to ask and made the point that it wasn't very fair to ring late on a Friday and leave us worrying all weekend.

I wasn't best pleased with the teacher this morning and she was short with me this afternoon but would they really call me in for something like that?

My child has said they were fine at school today but what if there is a problem? If it was something positive wouldn't the teacher have said to tell us it wasn't anything to worry about? The receptionist said they just get asked to make the appointment.

DH is coming with me as support and if it is about this morning we have bigger problems to hit her with.

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 23/01/2009 20:39

What a pain for you. Sorry you have it hanging over you this weekend. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about.

cat64 · 23/01/2009 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

theresonlyme · 23/01/2009 21:06

The person we have to see his head of infants or something. I bet it is because the teacher is annoyed with me I can't believe there are any problems with my child. Maybe they are just too clever for the class! If it is about today, then fine, bring it on, as what the teacher has done is far more serious imo. (Letting my child go without me being there.)

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Littlefish · 24/01/2009 09:00

You sound very confrontational. If there was a problem yeseterday then perhaps the school just want to sort it out. The secretary may have been asked to make the appointment, but it would have been inappropriate to give her details of why. Shows good regard for confidentiality in my opinion.

However, you will achieve a far more positive result if you go in with a reasonable attitude, than your current "all-guns-blazing" one.

It sounds like something has happened to do with your child being let out of school, and you were rude to her because of it (a good reason to be worried and annoyed, but not to be rude), and she was brusque with you when you picked your child up.

Go in with a pleasant attitude and sort it out in a grown up manner.

theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:04

You have got it so wrong. I haven't said anything to the teacher about letting my child go without me being there. And I have not been rude to her

Confidentiality, fine. Letting me worry all weekend is not.

Grown up? I don't apologise for worrying about my children.

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TheFallenMadonna · 24/01/2009 09:05

"Bigger problems to hit her with"?

theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:08

I meant about letting my child go without me being there. There is more too it, obviously, and it involves someone else trying to take my child. I will be calm. It isn't her I am seeing but I will not apologise for worrying about my child.

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cory · 24/01/2009 09:09

Is this related to your other thread where it seems as if the problem was that your dd was to go to another classroom and you wanted to check that she was all right (when she was in school? why?).

Or is this some further problem about when the children came out?

It is very difficult to get a grip on this situation atm as we weren't there: could you start from the beginning and explain what went wrong?

Otherwise we've got no chance of telling whether you are BU or not.

TheFallenMadonna · 24/01/2009 09:10

So have you complained about that? In which case you might be seeing her line manager as a result of that complaint.

theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:13

I am not asking if I am being unreasonable.

I have no idea why this member of staff wants to see me.

I wanted to check where my child was to make sure she had got to where she was meant to as no one knew they weren't going into the classroom. Can't see what is wrong with that tbh. She is only 5. Maybe I worry more about her than I need to but I am her mum.

I haven't said anything to the teacher about her letting my child go without me being there so it isn't about that.

If she is annoyed I spoke to the child who is crying, then she is just being silly.

I think it is really unfair to phone me on a Friday afternoon and make me worry all weekend. It could be about none of the above or there could be a problem with my child.

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muppetgirl · 24/01/2009 09:13

If you feel rushed into making a decision I would have said 'I will have to get back to you as I need to speak to Dh' just because they are asking you to come in on Monday it doesn't mean you have to go. I would take it that they are asking you for a meeting and then arrange a suitable time for you and dh. Tuesday would be better as then you can ask as to what the meeting is about then you can arrive prepared. I would never agree to a meeting where I had no idea what was to be discussed. I can understand your anxiety though but the 'bigger things to hit them with' does sound confrontational. If you have a problme why have you not discussed this with them?

aGalChangedHerName · 24/01/2009 09:13

You sound like you are looking for a fight tbh. What are the bigger problems you want to hit her with?

ZZZen · 24/01/2009 09:15

Try to put the complaints/concerns you have down in writing so you know how/what you want to bring up when you go to the school. Perhaps some of the things that have been troubling you can be sorted out to your own satisfaction regardless of what the particular issue is the school want to discuss now.

TheFallenMadonna · 24/01/2009 09:17

Why haven't you expressed your concerns about letting your child go without you and someone trying to take her? You're only going to bring it up now?

theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:18

I don't mean to be confrontational. I was just very stressed and worried when I typed that. I hadn't made a fuss about letting her go but if she was going to complain I went looking for my child I was going to remind her why I needed to check my child was safe, that is all. (The reason is the concern I have about my child being taken by someone I don't want too. This isn't a random person btw, I know who it would be)

Believe me, I don't want a fight with anyone. I can barely get through the day atm never mind have a row with the teacher.

I wasn't given a choice really about seeing them and DH is coming with me anyway.

OP posts:
theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:19

I told the teacher on day one the reason why she had to expressly check I was there. I didn't think I should be reminding her contantly tbh.

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theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 09:20

I am going out now, so not inoring anyone who might post.

I am not looking for a fight but when it comes to my children I am the biggest worrier going (with good reason imo.)

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TheFallenMadonna · 24/01/2009 09:21

But if you told her and she didnt do it, why are you only going to raise it now? DId someone really try to take your child, or have I got hold of completely the wrong end of the stick?

aGalChangedHerName · 24/01/2009 09:21

Ok but without knowing what the history is it's difficult to see the big picture. Details would be helpful.

TheFallenMadonna · 24/01/2009 09:22

Ah - there's a back story.

cory · 24/01/2009 09:24

Impossible for us to understand this story without more details/a clearer narrative.

But I'd say very normal to have to wait over the weekend for an appointment to discuss anything at all. Thhe person you are to see was very likely not available on a Friday afternoon- they might have been in a meeting or whatever- so receptionist was trying to ensure that you got the earliest possible appointment; sounds like good service to me.

muppetgirl · 24/01/2009 09:36

Can I also add it makes life very difficult as a teacher if parents 'save up' grudges to trot out when a teacher asks for a meeting. I have experience of a parent who would never take on board anything her child had done but would recall instances months previously that she felt had been unjust. I ended up having to keep notes on anything that happend involving her daughter in case she chose to bring it up at a later date. Please talk about issues you have as and when they arise...

ZZZen · 24/01/2009 11:09

hard for us to guess what the school want but op seems uncomfortable with the teacher to say the least and whatever the story is with someone trying to pick her dc up from school, it should be cleared up officially with the school.

I really don't know what it is about but I presume the teacher realises she is not liked and perhaps the feeling is mutual now and even if that cannot be changed, perhaps the head can help clear the air and get to what the underlying problem is. This is what I imagine iti s about.

So I would write down my point of view in order to have clear in my own mind what I think/find reasonable to bring up at the meeting.

Good luck though. Might be a lot easier than you fear and do good in the end.

dilemma456 · 24/01/2009 14:33

Message withdrawn

theresonlyme · 24/01/2009 16:17

TheFallenMadonna I told the teacher on day one about not letting my child go. I didn't say anything the other day when she did as my daughter was upset, and she was priority. MY point was, if she is annoyed that I went into the classroom to see if my DD was okay, I will remind her why I wanted to check.

OKay, haven't explained myself well at all. My mother is threatening to try and take the children from me - which is why I expressly asked that the teachers check I am there before letting my children go.

I won't bring up that she let me DD go, unless she complains about me going in the classroom, and only as an explanation as to why I wanted to check - a reminder to the teacher of the situaion if you like.

It was the receptionist who rang to ask me to go in, and by the time she did, the person I am seeing had left. What I think it unfair is leaving me hanging over the weekend without the faintest clue as to what is wrong. I take my child to the door every day so they could have asked me then to go into school.

I have nothing personal against the teacher as I don't know her. I don't agree with how she is with the parents and children some time but wouldn't mention it as it woul dget me nowhere. I am very sure she doesn't like me and as long as she treats my child right, that isn't a problem.

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