Reposted as forgot to title - Have to go in to school on Monday

[theresonlyme]

The receptionist rang at 3.45 to ask me to go in and see a member of staff on Monday. Couldn't say why, DH rang to ask and made the point that it wasn't very fair to ring late on a Friday and leave us worrying all weekend.

I wasn't best pleased with the teacher this morning and she was short with me this afternoon but would they really call me in for something like that?

My child has said they were fine at school today but what if there is a problem? If it was something positive wouldn't the teacher have said to tell us it wasn't anything to worry about? The receptionist said they just get asked to make the appointment.

DH is coming with me as support and if it is about this morning we have bigger problems to hit her with.

" I take my child to the door every day so they could have asked me then to go into school."

But if they have asked you to see the head of year, then they have to make an appointment for a time when the head of year is not busy. And at the beginning and end of the school day is a tremendously busy time: I wouldn't expect someone like that to be able to drop everything at the moment to see me however important the business, unless the business is so urgent that it genuinely cannot wait (clearly not the case since the appointment was made on Friday afternoon and your dd won't be in school until Monday.

I understand that you are very worried about the risk you mentioned and probably with good reason, but I really think you are doing yourself a disservice by sitting here trying to second-guess what the school are going to say: it may be about something totally different. Or they may be calling you in to ask how they can help you, so that things won't go wrong again.

But if they are trying to be helpful and you come in all tense and defensive, then you are going to undo any good work that may be going on. So try to relax however hard it is.

And please accept that having to wait a weekend for an appointment with the head of year is both normal and understandable.
a disservice by sitting all weekend and trying to guess what it is a

Sorry, missed the bit in your post where you said the reason your appointment was deferred was the person had already left- well, that's clear then.

So your complaint is that the receptionist should have told you the reason. But don't you think the school may be treating this meeting as confidential? Do you really want your personal situation gossiped over by the office staff? Office staff are not teachers and IME don't get told the sort of things that teachers do. Rightly too, they don't have the training. SO it may be as simple as that.

I have to go in as soon as I have dropped of my children so it makes no difference whether they gave me 5 minutes notice, they know I don't work, and it would have been better than 2 days of worrying.

I am certain it isn't about letting her go without me being there.

It is hard not to try and guess.

I am a bit scared worried that is all. I don't fancy a telling off and I am worried in case DD has problems and I haven't realised.

I am no good at this mother lark.

"Sorry, missed the bit in your post where you said the reason your appointment was deferred was the person had already left- well, that's clear then."

I have no idea when the staff were asked to ring me.

"So your complaint is that the receptionist should have told you the reason. But don't you think the school may be treating this meeting as confidential? Do you really want your personal situation gossiped over by the office staff? Office staff are not teachers and IME don't get told the sort of things that teachers do. Rightly too, they don't have the training. SO it may be as simple as that."

I appreciate that. I guess it would have been nice if they could have said to tell me it was nothing to worry about. I probably would still have worried but maybe not as much.

IME when they say "nothing to worry about" that's when I do start worrying!

theresonlyme on Sat 24-Jan-09 17:21:30
"I have to go in as soon as I have dropped of my children so it makes no difference whether they gave me 5 minutes notice, they know I don't work, and it would have been better than 2 days of worrying."

No, you don't work- but the head of year does! My experience is that anyone who is both teaching and dealing with extra responsibilities of this kind is working flat out and simply doesn't get an extra 5 minutes in the day without careful planning.

I appreciate that. I just wish they could have phoned me on any day other than Friday. Waiting over night would have been preferable to waiting all weekend. That is why I am wondering if it was because of me going into the classroom.

If it is something to do with DD then up to now I have had no indication they have any worries about her. They understand her fairly well and the things they have said about her, are not going to be changed tbh.

Oh heck. Monday can't come soon enough!

what happened?

Good question Muppetgirl!

It was a reassuring meeting to tell me my child is safe at school.

We have a fear that my mother will try and snatch our DD so have told the school and I drop her at the door and go round to wave to DD at her classroom window. She wants me to do this but it is also for my piece of mind because it is quite a walk from where I drop her off to where her classroom is.

On Friday they were sent somewhere else but the first we knew of any of this was when we went round to wave at the window and the children were being sent elsewhere. I was worried she would be in a state and I knew I would fret all day so I went and found DD and asked her if she was okay.

I told the staff member I saw today about letting my DD go without me being there and if DD had been fine about it, then it wouldn't have been a problem, but she wasn't fine and since we were having this meeting I thought I would mention it.

I feel a bit happier now.

When I picked DD up, a different teacher was seeing them out and she had a very tight hold on DD's arm until she saw me waving.

Thanks for asking.

thats good tom.
she's only 5,i like to know my dcs are "in" school and a teacher has seen them,until they are old enough to be aware of their own safety.
In our primary,a teacher greets them in the foyer entrance,i then feel they are transferred to schools care iyswim.

Oh I'm glad to hear that .