Can I ask you all your opinions on something I am really struggling with? I feel like I am being a slightly overprotective mother but I just can't get away from a really strong feeling I have.
My ds (4 in April) has just started at a nursery attached to a school and it is not going too well. I know it is early days but I had major reservations about sending him there (call it gut instinct) but we were hoping he would go to reception there in September and it is a v oversubscribed, C of E school and the school has implied in not so many words they give priority to children in the nursery who meet the other criteria (eg regular church attendance).
They have a settling in period of roughly a week. They start as going mornings first (and eating lunch) and then progress to all day - 8.55-3.20pm. There is no flexibility in the hours and days they go. And they are expected to go to full days after a week.
So my ds, who has been blissfully happy at a local pre-school and staying there a couple of days for lunch to get used to it, has now done 10 days at his new nursery, three of which have been all day, and it has completely floored him. He has gone from being a happy, content boy to now being tired, grumpy, naughty, occasionally agressive and completely wiped out.
On Thursday when I picked him up after him being there all day the teacher pulled me aside and told me another child saw ds bash another child on the hand with a car. She also mentioned he wouldn't look at her when she talked to him about it. I am in no way bothered that she told my son off, although of course he is perfect but it really bothered me she was telling me such a minor misdemeanour, when I suppose I view it as typical three year old behaviour (he does this to me when he is tired). I suppose what I mean is by her telling me I felt like she was making it into a big deal and not giving him any allowances for being on his first week in a strange place etc.
This all sounds very trivial now I have written it down but it has made me think about all the doubts I had about sending him there in the first place. I hate that he has to go full time at such a young age. I hate that there is little or no communication between parents and teacher, I don't know what he has for lunch, I hate that his teacher is so business-like. These are little ones fgs, some of whom have never been away from their mums and she treats them like year 1s.
I have a friend who's son has also started with my ds and her eldest is in year 1. Her words to me have been, 'the first two years are horrendous. But it does get better in year 1. You just have to keep your head down.'
But I don't want to do that. I don't want to wish my little boy's life away just so he can have a place at reception. It sucks!
There are two other schools near us. One is dreadful and the other is catholic and the best in the borough. We cannot afford private (we are in London) and anyway I should have put his name down at birth if I wanted that option.
We drove past his old nursery at the weekend and he said to me 'Mummy I don't like my church school, I want to back to my *** nursery'. He cried on Friday morning that he didn't want to go to church school (his words!) and at the weekend he asked me whether it was the weekend because he wanted to be with me and daddy and his sister, not at school.
So how long do I give it? I know it is early days but my heart keeps telling me its wrong. The alternative for us would be to move out of London but that would be a massive decision for us due to dh's job.
I'm sorry if this all sounds trivial but I have no experience of this and I am worried. I am always positive with him about it but underneath it all I want to take him out, now!